There is Seemingly Nothing I Can Do To Make Me Feel Positive about Dating

October 16, 2015

Well that sounds like you aren't sending out the flirting signal yourself!! Start small. Flirt with no intention other than that. Walk away. Keep doing that throughout your day. You can also somewhat flirt with people that are not dating material for you--it's all practice. You should work on being charming, just for that in and of itself. And then I think your success with girls you would date will go up.

I agree with Versacehottie here. I have gone out on dates with some really attractive guys (former models, athletes, etc.), who are solid 10s, but they got no games and are very dry! They left no impression on me regardless they were super attractive. So it's all about your attitude and personality.

October 16, 2015

Ok, I can suggest something that's helped me in the past. Takes a bit of commitment, but you might be surprised. It's called the 22x11 technique.

In other words, your belief about yourself is sabotaging you. Fix that, then the rest will take care of itself.

Ha! Neowulf!! I think I know where you know this technique and YES I wholeheartedly agree. New age-y absolute geniusness.

I'm not really new age-y but no kidding. I know several people who have completely different lives and amazing lives from this guru.

October 16, 2015

You claim that you're 7-7.5, but from your pic, I'd say you're 5.5-6. Then again, you could be better looking in person like you said. But it isn't all about looks, I don't think you are at all confident like you said you are.

yea that's about what I would expect from people rating the pics - I don't really know how to pose properly. In real life, people probably rate me anywhere from 6-8/10 depending on their taste in men. I'm also in the best shape of my life now too so that makes your face look better (lower body fat = more defined and angular face).

I'm pretty happy with everything being considered.

October 16, 2015

I agree with Versacehottie here. I have gone out on dates with some really attractive guys (former models, athletes, etc.), who are solid 10s, but they got no games and are very dry! They left no impression on me regardless they were super attractive. So it's all about your attitude and personality.

I've been out on dates with 7 women in my life and 5 of them wanted to date me long term. The problem is that none of them were attractive or they were decent looking but 15-20 years older than me

Honestly I'm absolutely certain that if I could get a couple dates with decent looking females, I would have a girlfriend in no time. I can make people feel very comfortable around me. I just don't come across any decent looking women who are attracted to me.

October 16, 2015

yea that's about what I would expect from people rating the pics - I don't really know how to pose properly. In real life, people probably rate me anywhere from 6-8/10 depending on their taste in men. I'm also in the best shape of my life now too so that makes your face look better (lower body fat = more defined and angular face).

I'm pretty happy with everything being considered.

I have a friend who's from Saudi Arabia, he's absolutely stunning, 6'1", very fit, chiseled abs, successful, and he's dating a beautiful blond Russian. So apparently some white women do like exotic men! Maybe it has everything to do with where you live!

October 16, 2015

have a great and exciting lifestyle

Describe this. Just because you have great stuff to post on your instagram doesn't mean you are actually "engaging" and living. What's great about it? Usually people with "great" and "exciting" lives have a large social circle. Undoubtedly something ALWAYS happens due to this circle. Or if you travel, go on adventures, are out and about, things happen. Why do you consider your lifestyle great? Then I can help you figure out where the dates are.

Also you mentioned fitness (good) and bodybuilding (not so good, IMO). IMO, and hope this does not offend anyone, if you mean a real true bodybuilder, there is usually a lot of self-absorbtion, obsessiveness and routine there that make those guys not ones you want to date EVEN IF that body type appeals to you. I think I speak for a lot of girls when I say that guys (especially the guys that are obsessed with bodybuilding perfection) overestimate that being "attractive" from a bodybuilding standpoint is attractive to a wide population of women; not so much. Fit and even somewhat buff is good but 'roided out or looking 'roided out even if it's not enhanced is not attractive to a lot of us.

October 16, 2015

I have a friend who's from Saudi Arabia, he's absolutely stunning, 6'1", very fit, chiseled abs, successful, and he's dating a beautiful blond Russian. So apparently some white women do like exotic men! Maybe it has everything to do with where you live!

I live 45 minutes from Chicago

but yea Arab men can be very good looking. Arab people in general can be very beautiful

October 16, 2015

Describe this. Just because you have great stuff to post on your instagram doesn't mean you are actually "engaging" and living. What's great about it? Usually people with "great" and "exciting" lives have a large social circle. Undoubtedly something ALWAYS happens due to this circle. Or if you travel, go on adventures, are out and about, things happen. Why do you consider your lifestyle great? Then I can help you figure out where the dates are.

Fun vacations

Great concerts

Awesome sporting events - I went to the cubs clinching game that everybody wanted to go to, sat row 1 in bleachers. Everybody was envious

Go to all the top bars and clubs in the area

Go to all the top restaurants in the area

Hang out with a group of about 10-20 people that are just absolutely fantastic

Party at my buddy's mansion on the lake here

Party at my buddy's place on the water in Miami

Etc.... Etc...

Also you mentioned fitness (good) and bodybuilding (not so good, IMO). IMO, and hope this does not offend anyone, if you mean a real true bodybuilder, there is usually a lot of self-absorbtion, obsessiveness and routine there that make those guys not ones you want to date EVEN IF that body type appeals to you. I think I speak for a lot of girls when I say that guys (especially the guys that are obsessed with bodybuilding perfection) overestimate that being "attractive" from a bodybuilding standpoint is attractive to a wide population of women; not so much. Fit and even somewhat buff is good but 'roided out or looking 'roided out even if it's not enhanced is not attractive to a lot of us.

I love bodybuilding but I don't do steroids. I'm not obsessive about the routine either - I eat a pretty loose diet...just make sure to get high protein but I love good food so I don't deprive myself of anything.

overall, I'm actually pretty low maintenance. I have friends who are bodybuilders who I get along great with but I have friends who don't work out who I get along great with as well. Everything is about balance and moderation.

October 16, 2015

Ahh you beat me to it!

Dude the reason you're not getting any girls is because you spend all your time complaining on the internet! I have you seen you post these exact same threads on at least 3 different web sites. If in all of the huge internet I still come across you this frequently, then I can't even imagine how many sites you actually post on.

ohhhhhh nooooooooo have I been sucked in. Ok well then I guess OP is looking on internet (and wasting time I might add), trying to get people to tell him how great he is. Because he's real life experiences don't match up.

One of two things:

*he overestimates how good looking he is

*his game sucks

*his personality is not great

*his expectations are too high for what he has to offer on the whole

Yes OP if the 5 girls that agreed to date you are just decent and/or not bad looking but "old", clearly you think you have more to offer than you actually do. I know you think you look pretty good, so I would start by examining your personality. I caught a couple of microblips where I think personality's not "quite" on point. Looking down on others, especially the few who agreed to date you and defeatist attitude are no good in personality world. Start there.

October 16, 2015

ohhhhhh nooooooooo have I been sucked in. Ok well then I guess OP is looking on internet (and wasting time I might add), trying to get people to tell him how great he is. Because he's real life experiences don't match up.

One of two things:
*he overestimates how good looking he is
*his game sucks
*his personality is not great
*his expectations are too high for what he has to offer on the whole

Yes OP if the 5 girls that agreed to date you are just decent and/or not bad looking but "old", clearly you think you have more to offer than you actually do. I know you think you look pretty good, so I would start by examining your personality. I caught a couple of microblips where I think personality's not "quite" on point. Looking down on others, especially the few who agreed to date you and defeatist attitude are no good in personality world. Start there.

What I would have said too, sadly.

October 16, 2015

ohhhhhh nooooooooo have I been sucked in. Ok well then I guess OP is looking on internet (and wasting time I might add), trying to get people to tell him how great he is. Because he's real life experiences don't match up.

One of two things:
*he overestimates how good looking he is
*his game sucks
*his personality is not great
*his expectations are too high for what he has to offer on the whole

Yes OP if the 5 girls that agreed to date you are just decent and/or not bad looking but "old", clearly you think you have more to offer than you actually do. I know you think you look pretty good, so I would start by examining your personality. I caught a couple of microblips where I think personality's not "quite" on point. Looking down on others, especially the few who agreed to date you and defeatist attitude are no good in personality world. Start there.

I never looked down on those women. They were mostly wonderful people, they were just not attractive - two were overweight and the others were just too old and had kids so dating them would not be feasible. Me saying that I don't find somebody attractive does not mean I'm assaulting their character.

As far as my appearance goes, I'm anywhere from a 6-8/10 in real life. I don't think that's unrealistic to say - I've had plenty of people who said I was incredibly handsome in real life - a few others have said I'm around average. I'm okay with that

For overall package, I think my overall package is awesome. I make a top 1% income at a very young age which has allowed me a tremendous standard of living and financial security/stability that I'm very grateful for. I'm ferociously loyal and loving towards the people in my circle. I go out of my way to treat people great.

Edited October 16, 2015 by AdagioForStrings

October 16, 2015

Fun vacations
Great concerts
Awesome sporting events - I went to the cubs clinching game that everybody wanted to go to, sat row 1 in bleachers. Everybody was envious
Go to all the top bars and clubs in the area
Go to all the top restaurants in the area
Hang out with a group of about 10-20 people that are just absolutely fantastic
Party at my buddy's mansion on the lake here
Party at my buddy's place on the water in Miami
Etc.... Etc...

I love bodybuilding but I don't do steroids. I'm not obsessive about the routine either - I eat a pretty loose diet...just make sure to get high protein but I love good food so I don't deprive myself of anything.

overall, I'm actually pretty low maintenance. I have friends who are bodybuilders who I get along great with but I have friends who don't work out who I get along great with as well. Everything is about balance and moderation.

Well now that you posted you live near chicago I pretty much remember you. Yeah posting same story around 3-4 months ago under a different name, right? Last time you were talking about your income as well? Hmmmm, maybe just a rash of guys exactly like you. Ok, I'll bite though:

so you do flashy things. Fun. I like too. However, here's a little secret: your best bet in this world is STILL to connect, just like the other worlds. You will get someone who is really not into you, just the things you are on paper or will give them or give them access to--and that's fleeting, because SOMEONE will be able to offer them more. These people are users and looking for the better deal. OR worse, you are this person. You won't be able to connect with a girl FOR REAL if you are just trying to impress her with what you have on paper, are on paper. If you can't connect, you will get nowhere.

I would say if you are doing all those activities. You are failing in the flirty, making girl friends department. You need to work on being charming. Step outside your comfort zone with that. Also how can you have 20 friends that you are close to and not an extended network of their girlfriend's friends, sisters, and coworkers and so on and so forth? You should so if you don't something's wrong there.

Ok , bodybuilding, give me a celeb or athlete's name that your body type resembles and I will give you girl feedback.

October 16, 2015

I never looked down on those women. They were mostly wonderful people, they were just not attractive - two were overweight and the others were just too old and had kids so dating them would not be feasible. Me saying that I don't find somebody attractive does not mean I'm assaulting their character.

As far as my appearance goes, I'm anywhere from a 6-8/10 in real life. I don't think that's unrealistic to say - I've had plenty of people who said I was incredibly handsome in real life - a few others have said I'm around average. I'm okay with that

For overall package, I think my overall package is awesome. I make a top 1% income at a very young age which has allowed me a tremendous standard of living and financial security/stability that I'm very grateful for. I'm ferociously loyal and loving towards the people in my circle. I go out of my way to treat people great.

Well, Why the F did you ask them out? How kind of you! I'm sure they appreciated the little bone of kindness you threw their way. Jesus

October 16, 2015

Well now that you posted you live near chicago I pretty much remember you. Yeah posting same story around 3-4 months ago under a different name, right? Last time you were talking about your income as well? Hmmmm, maybe just a rash of guys exactly like you. Ok, I'll bite though:

so you do flashy things. Fun. I like too. However, here's a little secret: your best bet in this world is STILL to connect, just like the other worlds. You will get someone who is really not into you, just the things you are on paper or will give them or give them access to--and that's fleeting, because SOMEONE will be able to offer them more. These people are users and looking for the better deal. OR worse, you are this person. You won't be able to connect with a girl FOR REAL if you are just trying to impress her with what you have on paper, are on paper. If you can't connect, you will get nowhere.

Believe it or not, even though I absolutely love my toys, I'm not a superficial person. I have friends who are multi millionaires and friends who are average in socioeconomic status and I love them both equally.

I was very poor growing up coming here from overseas. I've learned to appreciate that we all go through our struggles. That actually helps me connect quite well with clients who are on the lower end of spectrum financially - they can see that I'm not far detached from that world.

Also how can you have 20 friends that you are close to and not an extended network of their girlfriend's friends, sisters, and coworkers and so on and so forth? You should so if you don't something's wrong there.

I've met a decent amount of women through them. Not one of them wanted anything to do with me

My best friend owns a salon. I was once partying with him and two of the girls that worked for him at his mansion on the lake lol. The girls wanted absolutely nothing to do with me

Ok , bodybuilding, give me a celeb or athlete's name that your body type resembles and I will give you girl feedback.

this an older picture - I'm fat here but basically this minus 25 lbs of fat - my mid section is much more slim and V taper is much more pronounced

http://s27.postimg.org/4w2n1upqr/image.jpg

October 16, 2015

who dresses very stylish, etc...

Guys who think they dress stylish are usually making outfit mistakes for attracting women. Just sayn.

October 16, 2015

Guys who think they dress stylish are usually making outfit mistakes for attracting women. Just sayn.

I was taught how to dress by my beautiful fashion expert sister so I would like to think that I know my fashion.

Average night out at the bars, I probably get 2 or 3 (sometimes more) compliments from acquaintances and random strangers on the shirts I'm wearing, watch I'm wearing, etc...

October 16, 2015

Believe it or not, even though I absolutely love my toys, I'm not a superficial person. I have friends who are multi millionaires and friends who are average in socioeconomic status and I love them both equally.

I was very poor growing up coming here from overseas. I've learned to appreciate that we all go through our struggles. That actually helps me connect quite well with clients who are on the lower end of spectrum financially - they can see that I'm not far detached from that world.

I've met a decent amount of women through them. Not one of them wanted anything to do with me

My best friend owns a salon. I was once partying with him and two of the girls that worked for him at his mansion on the lake lol. The girls wanted absolutely nothing to do with me

this an older picture - I'm fat here but basically this minus 25 lbs of fat - my mid section is much more slim and V taper is much more pronounced

http://s27.postimg.org/4w2n1upqr/image.jpg

Ok good news. You don't fall into the "bodybuilding" category that I was thinking of when you kept mentioning it. you look fine/good---though not sure cut down 25 pounds what that would look like. If your talking "perfection" you in this pic are already quite v-tapered so more ummmmm not sure if that would be good. But I'll take your word for it. No need to give you a body complex--that is not your problem other than you thinking a good body should solve your dating problems. Or if you have an obsession with it that is super routine and rigid that's no good either. But what you look like is fine/good---that would appeal to lots of girls if the other elements are in place.

October 16, 2015

Ok good news. You don't fall into the "bodybuilding" category that I was thinking of when you kept mentioning it. you look fine/good---though not sure cut down 25 pounds what that would look like. If your talking "perfection" you in this pic are already quite v-tapered so more ummmmm not sure if that would be good. But I'll take your word for it. No need to give you a body complex--that is not your problem other than you thinking a good body should solve your dating problems. Or if you have an obsession with it that is super routine and rigid that's no good either. But what you look like is fine/good---that would appeal to lots of girls if the other elements are in place.

Everything I do in life is about balance and moderation

I kill myself at work 50 hours a week to make every penny I can make

I don't work my days off or time off and instead keep work as far away from my brain as possible.

I kill myself at the gym and in my football league but then I will enjoy a whole delicious pizza right afterwards

I love my lifestyle overall.

October 16, 2015

Ok just a real question: why do you keep posting under different names and thinking you will fool the other posters not to remember your story?

That's weird and obsessed and gives a little insight into how intense and not in touch you are. Why do you think people wouldn't remember it? Especially when the facts you give are not just vague but specific enough as to be memorable. You have a problem with connecting in general. To think you would pull the wool over people's eyes suggests a lack of empathy and superiority complex; on other threads of yours it's not long, if I remember right, before you start being hostile with people. You won't be able to hide that from dates either. You blame your ethnicity (or looking ethnic-ish) for the reason too. And you have both a chip on your shoulder about it and a confidence problem about it. Not good. Living where I do, I might not fully understand what you go through with regards to that, but it wouldn't be a problem here--if as I keep saying the other elements are in place.

If you really seek a true answer to this problem, you should start by being honest, including with us. If you just want to vent, that's another story. My general belief is that if you look for evidence of the things that block you from what you want, you will keep finding it AND IT WILL CONTINUE TO BLOCK YOU.

October 16, 2015

I was taught how to dress by my beautiful fashion expert sister so I would like to think that I know my fashion.

Average night out at the bars, I probably get 2 or 3 (sometimes more) compliments from acquaintances and random strangers on the shirts I'm wearing, watch I'm wearing, etc...

Are any of the random strangers girls? that would be the time to flirt:sick:

October 16, 2015

Are any of the random strangers girls? that would be the time to flirt:sick:

sometimes, but it's never anybody I would ever date (a decent looking female anywhere near my age). I'm completely invisible to decent looking females my age.

I get tons of compliments from dudes. It's so baffling. I get straight dudes saying that a shirt I'm wearing looks great or that I look buff, they love my car, etc... I get about a 10-1 ratio of compliments from men vs women. It's beyond baffling

October 16, 2015

My general belief is that if you look for evidence of the things that block you from what you want, you will keep finding it AND IT WILL CONTINUE TO BLOCK YOU.

that's a great line

October 16, 2015

Ok just a real question: why do you keep posting under different names and thinking you will fool the other posters not to remember your story?

.

Yeah I notice the OP avoids answering this....

OP. Why?

October 16, 2015

Yeah I notice the OP avoids answering this....

Me2. Superiority complex and Something's off. Thus I am jumping to another thread. Only last reply which is not to OP but to you joseb

October 16, 2015

This is the part that drives me utterly insane

I'm both

I'm very successful, responsible, perfect credit score, etc... but I'm also the guy who has lots of friends, who can party till 7 AM, who is fun to be around, who is masculine, who dresses very stylish, etc... I do everything that people tell me I need to do to be attractive to women. I've always taken pride in being both the guy who is very responsible but can crush somebody's skull in when the time comes.

I am not expecting dating anywhere. I would like to have some dating success once every 50 years

My roommate has slept with 4 women he's met at my job that he's been there for less than a year just FYI

A friend of mine met his wife who was a car saleswoman, she's very pretty just FYI

Anyways you make it seem like the happy hour is any easier. Most women there are taken and just wanting a little attention from drunken and horny guys. If they're single, they have a group of 50032850283502358205583 guys trying to hit on them

Dating overall is a 1,000 times harder for men. It's the truth.

What you said at the bottom, and I want to agree but obviously many will disagree, I think it's natural for a lot of guys, men, to have that mindset who have little to no experience with women, since Women don't have to approach and ask out, initiate.

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