Author johnbarnz Posted October 17, 2015 Author Posted October 17, 2015 Last night i got home at 5am drunk. I was just so upset and hurt. I unblocked her number then sent her a message before blocking it again along with her entire families numbers. The entire time for the first month was me trying to be nice and get her back, now i had to tell her what i really think of the type of person she became. It felt good to get it out. I didnt say really anything mean but i told her stuff like the way she handled it i will never be able to forgive. The way she tried to hurt me and blame me for everything after the breakup when it wasnt my fault. And how i know she was talking to others before she ended it. And i no longer hope that we could be together again because all i want to do is get passed this. It felt good to let it all out. Now this morning i feel pretty weak and dumb for sending that message. Nothing good comes out of any type of contact i have realized. Any contact is bad contact at this point. The days are getting worse and worse! My friends and family are so happy my relationship is over. No one liked her and they all actually thank god it happened. Thats why im coming on here because i dont have anyone that wants to talk about her. I cant wait till i start thinking like my family and friends do! And just let this go!
OK_computer Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Last night i got home at 5am drunk. I was just so upset and hurt. I unblocked her number then sent her a message before blocking it again along with her entire families numbers. The entire time for the first month was me trying to be nice and get her back, now i had to tell her what i really think of the type of person she became. It felt good to get it out. I didnt say really anything mean but i told her stuff like the way she handled it i will never be able to forgive. The way she tried to hurt me and blame me for everything after the breakup when it wasnt my fault. And how i know she was talking to others before she ended it. And i no longer hope that we could be together again because all i want to do is get passed this. It felt good to let it all out. Now this morning i feel pretty weak and dumb for sending that message. Nothing good comes out of any type of contact i have realized. Any contact is bad contact at this point. The days are getting worse and worse! My friends and family are so happy my relationship is over. No one liked her and they all actually thank god it happened. Thats why im coming on here because i dont have anyone that wants to talk about her. I cant wait till i start thinking like my family and friends do! And just let this go! It'll take time to totally forget her existence and for her to be completely out of your thoughts, or atleast to the point of consistent indifference. However, you must understand that NOW, there is literally no going back. You can never unblock her again nor reach out to her again ever in your life. Not only to save face and heal properly, but also to prevent you from being labelled as some sort of creep or stalker. Also, if you do ever unblock her (which i would never recommend) wait of a reply instead of reblocking after sending a message, that just seems very immature to me, no offense. Good luck with your healing, we're all here to help.
Author johnbarnz Posted October 17, 2015 Author Posted October 17, 2015 It'll take time to totally forget her existence and for her to be completely out of your thoughts, or atleast to the point of consistent indifference. However, you must understand that NOW, there is literally no going back. You can never unblock her again nor reach out to her again ever in your life. Not only to save face and heal properly, but also to prevent you from being labelled as some sort of creep or stalker. Also, if you do ever unblock her (which i would never recommend) wait of a reply instead of reblocking after sending a message, that just seems very immature to me, no offense. Good luck with your healing, we're all here to help. Yeah i get what you mean. I just had to get that out so she knows that i know what and who she truly is. 4 damn years and you do this? Some people have no heart. I now look back and wow... how naive i was. And fake was our relationship. Idc what she thinks of me at this point. I blocked her number after the msg because i knew she was going to just send something to try and make me hurt worse to protect her own feelings. Im emotionaly exhausted over this entire situation. I cant even date other girls because im hung up on this girl that can care less about me. Thank you for the advice and help.
Royals550 Posted October 18, 2015 Posted October 18, 2015 Hang in there buddy, it only gets better with time. Hard to see that now but it's fact. How old is this lady by the way? She seems quite immature.
Author johnbarnz Posted October 18, 2015 Author Posted October 18, 2015 Hang in there buddy, it only gets better with time. Hard to see that now but it's fact. How old is this lady by the way? She seems quite immature. She is 20, yes very immature. Im hanging in there, i have my moments but want to move on so bad its making it easier. And having her number blocked helps alot
Author johnbarnz Posted October 19, 2015 Author Posted October 19, 2015 I wouldn't wish the pain I'm feeling on my worse enemy. I never thought it would be like this. I want to talk to her so bad but i know i can't. I just don't know how someone can spend 4 years with a person then not care. How she could talk to me everyday then be okay with not talking anymore. I wake up every morning shocked I'm single haha. The days are getting a little easier but the pain comes in waves. only been 3 days no contact and it feels like a year.....
mightycpa Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 She is 20, yes very immature. Im hanging in there, i have my moments but want to move on so bad its making it easier. And having her number blocked helps alotHaving her number blocked also keeps it in your contact list, doesn't it? You should change that contact name to HANG UP NOW! It might give you a little discipline during a drunk dial/text. 1
Author johnbarnz Posted October 19, 2015 Author Posted October 19, 2015 Having her number blocked also keeps it in your contact list, doesn't it? You should change that contact name to HANG UP NOW! It might give you a little discipline during a drunk dial/text.[/QUOT Yeah thats a good idea, I just have her name as Ex.
basil67 Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 Coming in late here - how about you delete her number completely? Unless you have stuff which needs to be returned, you no longer need her number. Stay strong.
Author johnbarnz Posted October 19, 2015 Author Posted October 19, 2015 Because if i do that her number won't be blocked in my phone anymore. plus i know it by heart. I feel bad for the last msg i sent her before NC. I know the situation is messed up and everything but i spent 4 years with her. I'm trying not to text her again.....
Royals550 Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 First things first, you're hurt and you want her back because you love her. In all actuality you love the 'idea' of her. That 'idea' consists of the earlier times when she could fulfill your needs for love and support. She's 20, which means her feelings and thought processes about love change like the tides. It's very tough to understand when you're caught up in the love web, but you need to let this one go. She's made it clear, now you just need to realize you have to lookout for you, find someone that can fulfill your needs. She causes you pain, and our egos tell us to fight for what we think we deserve. When it comes to love women think emotionally, not logically. It's just human nature. She's opened the door for you to find someone who appreciates you for what you have to offer. This is a great thing! This quote is the truth man... “You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events! Don't even feel guilty for one second on the text you sent last, you were just being you... Honest with your feelings. You blocked her and made a great stride to your recovery. 6 months from now you'll look back at this and laugh.. Saying to yourself 'what was I thinking chasing this girl'! Trust me! My advice, easy on the alcohol to prevent the drunk dialing. It's just a depressent that numbs the pain, you need to face the pain head on! Get in the gym, and continue life with a positive attitude towards the future. When you're my age (mid 30's) and relationships fail it still stings but you learn a little each time, and you learn to love yourself and keep the faith that you'll find the person who will appreciate you soon enough. There's no rush and no user guide, just pick yourself up and truck on. You seem like a good dude, hang in there man. She's not worth your energy. We can't control others actions and feelings, only our own. God bless
Author johnbarnz Posted October 20, 2015 Author Posted October 20, 2015 First things first, you're hurt and you want her back because you love her. In all actuality you love the 'idea' of her. That 'idea' consists of the earlier times when she could fulfill your needs for love and support. She's 20, which means her feelings and thought processes about love change like the tides. It's very tough to understand when you're caught up in the love web, but you need to let this one go. She's made it clear, now you just need to realize you have to lookout for you, find someone that can fulfill your needs. She causes you pain, and our egos tell us to fight for what we think we deserve. When it comes to love women think emotionally, not logically. It's just human nature. She's opened the door for you to find someone who appreciates you for what you have to offer. This is a great thing! This quote is the truth man... “You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events! Don't even feel guilty for one second on the text you sent last, you were just being you... Honest with your feelings. You blocked her and made a great stride to your recovery. 6 months from now you'll look back at this and laugh.. Saying to yourself 'what was I thinking chasing this girl'! Trust me! My advice, easy on the alcohol to prevent the drunk dialing. It's just a depressent that numbs the pain, you need to face the pain head on! Get in the gym, and continue life with a positive attitude towards the future. When you're my age (mid 30's) and relationships fail it still stings but you learn a little each time, and you learn to love yourself and keep the faith that you'll find the person who will appreciate you soon enough. There's no rush and no user guide, just pick yourself up and truck on. You seem like a good dude, hang in there man. She's not worth your energy. We can't control others actions and feelings, only our own. God bless That was great advice thank you!! She actually emailed me a response to that one message i sent her. I read it yesterday. She said she was so sorry for what she did. She said she never cheated and she would have never done that to me. She said she messed up and did date guys right away to try to get rid of the pain and it only made things worse and that she does deserve to feel this way for the way she treated me. She said she did try to hurt me but only because she was hurt that i was doing all these things she wanted me to do with her but now with other girls. She said the real reason she ended it was in hope that i would get my stuff going and we could be together in the future. She still misses me like crazy and is hurting just as bad if not worse. After i got that message i feel so much better now. I can finally heal. I now am okay with all of this and still have her number blocked until i can heal and maybe in the future her and i can be friends. Im not feeling the hurt i was but i still do miss her. I think its going to just get better from here on out
dumbass2 Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 It will get better as long as you do not contact her and don't unblock her or let her contact you. You both need to get over the past. Work on yourself now and better yourself and let a good amount of time go by and you WILL get better.
Author johnbarnz Posted October 20, 2015 Author Posted October 20, 2015 It will get better as long as you do not contact her and don't unblock her or let her contact you. You both need to get over the past. Work on yourself now and better yourself and let a good amount of time go by and you WILL get better. I completely agree with you, thank you for the reply and advice!
Author johnbarnz Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 Ex tried to email me twice today. Seems like now that im finally moving on and feelimg better for some reason she isnt
Ellie35 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Ex tried to email me twice today. Seems like now that im finally moving on and feelimg better for some reason she isnt Be careful of mistaken how far you have come. I always hoped my ex would try to contact me. (He didn't!!! Damn) I knew if he did I would feel stronger thinking on look he wants me back , he misses me etc . I posted on here and some wise guy pointed out that it would probably make me feel worse in the long run!!! He was right! Strict no contact and no reply to emails texts etc is the only way. It's not about getting someone back or getting over someone in record time, it's all about finding yourself again. That's the most important thing! Keep your focus on yourself. No matter what she says give herself at least a month for you without her in any form. 1
mightycpa Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Ex tried to email me twice today. Seems like now that im finally moving on and feelimg better for some reason she isntI'm not sure how you'd know that because those emails are landing in the trash according to the filtering rules you've set up for her. Right? Know what I'm sayin?
Author johnbarnz Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 I don't know how to block emails. is there a way? 1
Author johnbarnz Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 Okay so got another email today. Ex invited me to a halloween party at her house and would like to go, she said im invited if she i show up then i show up. What should i do? Drop it? Dont go or go? I still miss her but idk if i should go. Whats her intentions?
AT15 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 If you are trying to get over her, don't go. But if you want her -- then go. She feels you disconnecting from her and it doesn't feel very good to her. With NC it's almost like YOU become the dumper. It's really up to you. I doubt she broke up with you for another guy. BUT, I also doubt that she would get back with you and STAY with you. Follow your heart, but take your head along with it.
dumbass2 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Okay so got another email today. Ex invited me to a halloween party at her house and would like to go, she said im invited if she i show up then i show up. What should i do? Drop it? Dont go or go? I still miss her but idk if i should go. Whats her intentions? What are yours? Honestly, what are your expectations from her if you go? What are you hoping the outcome of you going to this party will be? Be totally honest.
erklat Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 You are in no shape to be having any form of contact with your ex. Why did you go at all? How long are you broken up? 1
Author johnbarnz Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 If you are trying to get over her, don't go. But if you want her -- then go. She feels you disconnecting from her and it doesn't feel very good to her. With NC it's almost like YOU become the dumper. It's really up to you. I doubt she broke up with you for another guy. BUT, I also doubt that she would get back with you and STAY with you. Follow your heart, but take your head along with it. Im really not sure what to do... But thank you for the advice. Party is tomorrow night. So i have some time to think about it
Author johnbarnz Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 Honestly, for the last month and whatever all i wanted was her back. But now that shes trying to see me and talk to me im not sure if i want her back. She did alot of messed up things and i dont think she really understands the situation. I want to go to see her but at the same time i dont want to go because i dont think she deserves me. If i do end up going tomorrow i would expect for her to ask me to be her bf again. Will i say yes? I dont know. Im half and half. But if i go and she doesnt ask by the end of the night i would never talk to her again. I asked her why she wants me to go, she said she wants to see me and misses me. I told her i would think about going and she said well youre invited so if you show up then you show up.
Author johnbarnz Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 I know im not.... i havent went the party is tomorrow night. We have been broken up for almost 2 months. We havent went even 4 days without ome of us messaging the other though.
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