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Abandonment issues in dating?


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Posted
you are also not her psychologist...I don't get all the effort here.

 

Effort? I've only given her time and talked with her about it. Things seem to be going smoothly. I just got off the phone with her, actually. Aren't couples supposed to talk about issues? If I wanted to be her shrink, I could have dug muuuch deeper. But, obviously, I don't. I want to be a supportive boyfriend. I'm not going to allow myself to wait around for her forever, but I'm not sure I understand the call for zero to minimal effort...especially when things are improving.

Posted
Effort? I've only given her time and talked with her about it. Things seem to be going smoothly. I just got off the phone with her, actually. Aren't couples supposed to talk about issues? If I wanted to be her shrink, I could have dug muuuch deeper. But, obviously, I don't. I want to be a supportive boyfriend. I'm not going to allow myself to wait around for her forever, but I'm not sure I understand the call for zero to minimal effort...especially when things are improving.

 

psychoanalyzing her and discussing her issues with her mom is a little much to me. I get the sense that you feel as though as long you can help and support her she'll be ok. I think you are taking on a huge responsibility and I get convincing yourself that you won't stick around forever. I'm partly biased, I've played this game before and I;m not as patient. I think it creates a healthier and balanced relationship when everyone is good as is from the start.

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Posted
psychoanalyzing her and discussing her issues with her mom is a little much to me. I get the sense that you feel as though as long you can help and support her she'll be ok. I think you are taking on a huge responsibility and I get convincing yourself that you won't stick around forever. I'm partly biased, I've played this game before and I;m not as patient. I think it creates a healthier and balanced relationship when everyone is good as is from the start.

 

In fairness...I didn't even bring it up with her mother. Her mother questioned me! I understand that everyone has different levels of patience for different things. I just feel right with this girl. For the last few years, aside from a shortish relationship, I've basically serial dated around Boston. It's been fun, but she made me want to stop and that's reason enough for me to put in some effort right now before considering throwing in the towel. Maybe I'm wrong and will get burned...maybe not. I'm aware of the risk.

 

Everyone has their bias, especially if they think they've been through a similar ordeal. I get it and I appreciate your comments regardless...that's why I'm here!

Posted

Whatever happens the experience will be worth it.

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