Why don't women give out compliments?

[No Limit]

If I notice positive characteristics I always mention them. *shrug* (Only to my partner though. Wouldn't compliment a stranger/acquaintance unless it's for a job well done or something like that.)

[PinkInTheLimo]

My first thought was: I give out encouragement and compliments liberally

 

My second thought: I wonder how many women who DO give a stranger compliments on his picture end up with a penis shot in their inbox...

 

I have no problem to express my appreciation to people, whether they are men or women. But it will in general be people that I know already quite well. I personally find it invasive when a stranger gives me compliments, so I don't want to make the same mistake.

 

When it comes to dating on a first date I will not overload my date with compliments. It would not be genuine since I hardly know the guy. I don't give out blank cheques. And if he needs that many compliments I will see him as narcissistic.

 

And indeed there is Autumnnight's second thought: I don't want to give the impression that I am totally into the guy when that is not (yet) the case because before you know it you have a stalker on your hand.

[MightyPen]

I question why more guys do not encourage or hand out compliments to the same gender. I recently at work complimented some guys on their choice of ties, and they both immediately went into this "Bustin each others chops' about it. I do not get how suddenly a positive remark can go down hill so quick.

 

It's almost like I insulted their manhood and they now had to find a way to bring their perception of being a man into play.

 

Luckily some gents know to simply say, thank you and smile.

 

 

Yeah you definitely pointed out the idiotic way lots of guys "bond" with each other - by bashing the other, even if it's done in a playful way. I always hated that, having to call your buddies "@*******s" or something instead of being able to say nice things when warranted.

[Revolver]

I think part of it has to do with the fact men are expected to "chase".... Not that it's right or wrong, but it tends to be that way.

 

I usually compliment only after I have received one...

 

And it's usually thought of being really forward for a female to compliment.... I think it's often taken as "she wants to F me!"

 

But if I have a repertoire with someone - I compliment freely.

 

I think the " she wants to F me" thought happens because it's so rare, it's the same thing wit the cold approach. "Women don't typically do that, so if she's approaching/complimenting me it must mean I'm the ish and she wants to bang me"

 

If more women did that reaction wouldn't be as common

[basil67]

I compliment my husband. I don't compliment male friends because it may be misconstrued as me having sexual or romantic feelings for him.

 

As for girls who get so many compliments from men - I'm guessing that those men who compliment probably have an ulterior motive. At least, I'd never had a compliment from a man who wasn't interested in pursuing something or other with me.

 

Hence me not giving compliments to men who I'm not with. I do compliment women though - because I'm not gay and they won't misunderstand my motive.

[joseb]

Well, you said "give out compliments" and then you immediately limited it to telling you you're hot and sexy. I find it uncomfortable if some guy I'm not sleeping with says I'm hot or sexy. It just sounds inappropriate....

 

I give men compliments, but it's never about their looks

 

I'm a guy and I don't expect or look for compliments.

Especially from a girl I'm not dating seriously.

 

And I don't give too many out either, unless I mean them.

And it's almost never a purely physical one, again unless it's with a LTR.

[alphamale]

So my question is why is this? Is it because there isn't as many attractive men as women? Are women socially conditioned to just keep it to themselves and their girlfriends?

I get compliments from women, not as often as I would like but I cannot control that

[preraph]

I think one reason some women and men don't compliment men is because they realize that many of the compliments men give women are just calculated to try to get her to sleep with them. If men were truly complimentary creatures, they'd compliment other men on how they look or dress. Women do compliment other women a lot. But they don't always feel right complimenting men because men use it so much as a tool that they may be afraid of them misreading the intent. In general, I find compliments from anyone not well known and close just awkward and usually calculated. So in a case like that, why would the woman reciprocate? Now, of course once you've known someone for a long time and are genuinely close with them, you will just naturally discuss that and more.

[autumnnight]

I compliment my husband. I don't compliment male friends because it may be misconstrued as me having sexual or romantic feelings for him.

 

As for girls who get so many compliments from men - I'm guessing that those men who compliment probably have an ulterior motive. At least, I'd never had a compliment from a man who wasn't interested in pursuing something or other with me.

 

Hence me not giving compliments to men who I'm not with. I do compliment women though - because I'm not gay and they won't misunderstand my motive.

 

Exactly. I mean, if a woman even smiles at a man besides her husband everyone is telling the husband to see a lawyer, hire a PI, and put a recorder in her car.

 

But if we don't compliment men we're mean and selfish and entitled.

 

We can't win.

[froz]

They do but yes not as often as men do of course.

It's more to do with being feminine and not wanting to come across as being too forward or too aggressive.

Afterall men are meant to do the chasing and pursuing and so making compliments is part of that process I guess.

[GravityMan]

 

I dunno, OP. I suspect it's just your area or the type of people you hang around.

 

Just speaking of compliments in general (and not just the "ur hot-n-sexy" blah blah)...I've gotten compliments often from both women and men over all sorts of stuff. Coworkers, friends, strangers, the person taking my order at the restaurant or coffee shop, the cashier at the supermarket, etc. Some of those people were attractive women. I don't make a big deal out of it...I usually just took the compliment in stride, politely smiled and said thanks (and in some cases, perhaps talked a little more about what specifically was complimented, depending on the situation and how the compliment was given...was it open-ended, etc).

 

Every once in awhile a woman will tell me that I'm handsome or nice-looking or whatever. Again, not a big deal. That said I can definitely understand why some women are hesitant to compliment men...some men read WAY too much into it and thus overreact.

 

Sure, there's been a few times that some of my friends (of both genders) "busted my chops" when a woman complimented me. Who cares. It was obviously all in good fun and not meant to be taken seriously.

 

Vocal compliments by themselves are NOT a good indicator that a woman is interested in you. It depends on how she gives the compliment, her body language, and so on. Interest is often communicated non-verbally. There are lots of ways for a person to get the message across that she digs you. Captain Obvious statement: a woman can think you're good-looking without being attracted to you.