What's wrong with me?

[hurt for loving]

I'm curious if anyone ever feels as I do.*

 

I've been out of a five year relationship for almost two years. It was tough but I got by. The one thing that runs through my mind a lot is a sense of loneliness. The problem is I have trouble meeting people and fully understanding etc.*

 

I am dealing with the fact that I'm a hearts over parts kind of girl. Recently after this I visited a friend and we went out to the local gay scene. There were actually some people that came up to me and showed attention. But as per usual, I got nervous. I don't know why this happens. I want to meet new people but I feel like such a weirdo and the urge to run or hide appears.*

 

I know it will be down to me to work this out. I just want to get to a place where I am confident again. I just have no idea what it is I want anymore. I don't miss being in a relationship anymore. But I enjoy the idea of somehow meeting someone special. Even just imagining cuddling on the couch watching a movie, to have that kind of trust and affection again. That would be so nice.*

 

Agh. I apologise for rambling. I've been trying to sort my thoughts and get them out.*

 

Thanks for*listening.

[Michelle ma Belle]

There is nothing wrong with you - in fact, I think you're quite normal

 

I've been here myself. I come across as very out going and extroverted mainly because my career demands it but deep down I'm very much an introvert. I often can get flustered when meeting new people outside of my work.

 

It's okay to not know what you want right now. This is the time to just take care of yourself and I don't mean just physically but mentally, spiritually, emotionally.

 

It's lovely that you haven't harden as a result of your break-up, that you're still a hopeless romantic in a way and open to the idea of having a relationship again when the time is right. That's half the battle.

 

Be kind to yourself. Try not to beat yourself up too much or over analyze yourself too harshly. Everyone deserves time to just be.

 

I wish you the very best.

[hurt for loving]

Thank you so much.

I try not to be mean to myself but it can be tough heh

 

I did wonder for a while if it was wortg feeling romantic or affectionate again. But turns out it's a big part of me. I just don't have anyone to share that particular part with. All I can hope is that one day Ill be in a place where I can do so with someone who will do the same. I always think if someone can get past that weird wall I have like my ex did, great.

 

I tend to get along with pretty much everyone but it's like you say. Im more of an introvert. A bloody nervous introvert at that! Haha

 

Thanks again. I'll try to work on me some more