MidwestUSA Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 While I'm not for keeping dogs in apartments, I could see doing so with a Pom. Gaeta is right, wee wee pads - just fold 'em over and be done with it. Little dogs just can't hold it that long. My daughter brought hers over once. Granted it was a teacup size, but I could really see treating it more like a ferret than my favorite sporting breed! Damn thing kept getting lost in the grass. It didn't have to travel far on my half acre to wear it's little legs out. And now that the girlfriend's going, the dog has that space back. She showed her true colors, and was indeed testing you, OP. Good riddance. Don't ever let anyone move in with you after not knowing her stance on such critical things. 3
TunaCat Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 I would never expect someone I was engaged to, to get rid of their pet. In fact, I'd consider it a dealbreaker if they DID get rid of the pet. I have a phobia of dogs stemming from when I was five and a neighbor's untrained dog bit me. But, if I met & fell in love with someone who had a dog, I would never ask them to get rid of the dog. I'd handle my phobia on my own and never let the dog see that I was afraid of it. When you get a pet, you are promising to take care of it for it's entire life. 1
Clarence_Boddicker Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 Of course your dog. You made a lifetime commitment when you got him. If your fiancé can't understand that, she's not marriage material. 2
todreaminblue Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 you did the right thing by choosing to honor your commitment to your deceased mums dog.for yourself and for the dog...i hope the little guy is ok.....i would go with what other posters have said in that.....your fiancee has a problem with you...you said she told you..."i knew you would choose the dog" so she gave you an ultimatum where she knew the answer would be the dog......she wanted to hear it ...or she is really heartless considering where the dog came from.......one or the other...either way .....she developed a problem with the dog....as an extension to you..its not all about the dog..i would bet on that.......deb 1
shet Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 What a nasty bitch. I'd seriously ensure she isn't beating it while you're out - not just now but before as well. I'd 100% expect someone like that to do that. There'll be no self control while you're not there, she'll take her frustration out on it. You need her out of there before she breaks its bones or something. 2
jam.over.jelly Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 He's a pomeranian. And to the above poster, I know I'm not the best dog owner. But I do my best. She cleans after him cause she's home. If she's not there, I clean when I get home. I don't mind. He uses the puppy pads. I didin't buy him or want a dog at the time. He was my mothers dog, and when she passed away I took him. I fell in love with the little guy and has always been there for me. And he reminds me of my mother. And I know its not fair to the dog, but it will get better. I don't plan to be in an apartment forever. All the more reason for you to keep the dog. Honestly, anyone who makes you choose between them and something else important to you, isn't the right one for you. She sounds like a mean person. And what's up with her attitude changing right after you proposed? She was fine with your dog for 6 months, wasn't she? Why can't she deal with your dog now? In all honesty, please do not marry this woman. 5
CalvinM Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I honestly can't believe you're asking this. The obvious choice should be dump her, keep the dog. Whether you realize it or not, your dog is part of the package deal. She knew that going in. If she had a problem with it (most dating sites allow to the option now to state if you have pets, so she has no excuse), she should have expressed it immediately. If you choose her over the dog, I guarantee it'll be something else next month she'll want you to get rid of. 4
CalvinM Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I honestly can't believe you're asking this. The obvious choice should be dump her, keep the dog. Whether you realize it or bot, your dog is part of the package deal. She knew that going in. If she had a problem with it (most dating sites allow to the option now to state if you have pets, so she has no excuse), she should have expressed it immediately. If you choose her over the dog, I guarantee it'll be something else next month she'll want you to get rid of. Edit. What are you doing getting engaged after six months, btw? 1
Toodaloo Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Your dog will always love you. Your fiancé, maybe not so much. I'm sure you can find her a good home. I am totally with this. Look at it from an outside perspective. She lives with the dog happily for 6 months then as soon as she has a ring on her finger the dog has to go? What else will have to go when you are married? Your friends? Family? She knows that your emotional attachment to the dog is very strong so she is forcing you to choose between them? Nah. This girl has turned into Godzilla. Her true colours are showing now she thinks she has you trapped. Your not trapped. Run. There are other women who are not secret bitches. Go find one of them. You will be happier. I say this with my scabby mutt sitting on my feet and my deaf one pushing me out of my chair... there are much better women out there than this one. Your dog is more loyal. Stick with the dog. 3
marychapman Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I would understand if your dog would be aggressive ... but simply demanding for you to give up a being that you love and deeply care for (plus it`s an actual LIVING being towards whom you have a responsibility) just because she suddenly "doesn`t like" him ... is absurd. What if you have kids and she doesn`t like their .. um .. looks? That`s banal but the bottom line is that you`re engaged to someone who thinks world revolves around her "likes and dislikes" and to hell with responsibilities and lives of others. Also, it`s not that hard to take care of a dog. Unless you have not house-trained them or don`t give them enough exercise and mental simulation. In which case I suggest you read places like dogforum.com Signed, Happy owner of a 35kg furball 1
marychapman Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 PS why do you use puppy pads? He is a grown dog right? He should be house-trained and he certainly can hold his bladder for at least 6 hours (unless there is a medical issue). He is also a small dog so it shouldn`t be hard AT ALL to exercise him and take him out for a pee. If neither of you is home (say dog is alone for 10 hours a day) then hire some college student for an example to take the dog out for a pee during the day.
road Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 He's a pomeranian. And to the above poster, I know I'm not the best dog owner. But I do my best. She cleans after him cause she's home. If she's not there, I clean when I get home. I don't mind. He uses the puppy pads. I didin't buy him or want a dog at the time. He was my mothers dog, and when she passed away I took him. I fell in love with the little guy and has always been there for me. And he reminds me of my mother. And I know its not fair to the dog, but it will get better. I don't plan to be in an apartment forever. Even before I read this post I say keep your/mom's pet and get rid of your 2 legged dog. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Dont tell me that!! SHe's home alone with him! Please tell us that the dog was fine when you got home yesterday. 1
Shepp Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Your dog will always love you. Your fiancé, maybe not so much. I'm sure you can find her a good home. ^ this!! If she'd even give you an ultimatum like that - keep the dog! She's ready half way out the door mate!
ThisisIt606 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Can you send the dog to doggy daycare or get a dog walker? Even if it is just a friend that you pay? Seems like the conditions are not great for the dog and it needs more room to exercise, etc. Focus on a solution around getting the dog better care from someone. Also pay attention that your fiance has stayed silent for so long about the dog... I don't think you necissarly have to dump anyone, but try to create a different living situation that all 3 of you can benefit from.
basil67 Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 I'm of the mind that if you seek some proper care and company for the dog, your girlfriend's problems with it will cease. A daytime dog walker could make a lot of difference. Dogs are social animals and deserve some daytime company.
newmoon Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 it should always be the dog and not the person. anyone who asks you to choose between them and an animal lacks the necessary compassion you're going to need in a partner. it sounds like a bait and switch too, that once you proposed she felt okay to release her true feelings on the dog... seems like she was pretending on that front and you should wonder what else she is/was pretending about... 1
Disconnect Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 I love that everyone here said choose the dog.
SammySammy Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Definitely keep the dog. The dog will love you unconditionally ....
Recommended Posts