hopelessromanticxo Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 (edited) So, up until a month and a half ago, I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. He has broken up with me three times before - once when we were 16 (for about a week, he hung out with another girl and realized she wasn't what he thought she would be like), once when we were 18 (right before college - says his reasoning was he wanted to date other people and experience college on his own and that I wasn't "sexual" enough.) and got back together within the week, and now in our current situation- at age 21 and says he's no longer in love with me. Usually our relationship was pretty great, I would say he was my absolute best friend. We spent a lot of time together and actually enjoyed each others company. In high school, he did cheat on me. I was so caught up in how much I loved him that I was able to look past it within a few months, although it hurt like hell. I forgave him because I didn't want to lose him. Thinking about it now, it was stupid. I honestly believe that we should have broken up when it happened but since then, I thought our relationship got stronger. I was wrong up until we broke up again. The day we broke up, we spent all day together. It was a nice, fun day. He held my hand, told me he loved me, everything was normal, until he dropped me off at the end of the night. He didnt kiss me goodnight like usual. I got out of the car, went inside, and called him five minutes later to ask what was up with that. He then broke up with me in a quick 3 minute phone call. AFTER 6 YEARS TOGETHER. Two days after, I thought the whole thing was my fault, so I texted him telling him sorry for all the wrong reasons. He was very cold. He told me he still cared about me and that it was extremely hard on him but he felt like we would both be happier. Have not talked since. We have been in NC for 42 days. I unfriended him on all social media accounts a week after the break up. All i've been doing is missing him, I've tried to talk to other guys but I just don't feel anything. All I can think about is how he just gave up on our relationship. I honestly feel like the other half of me is missing. Honestly he is a nice person, I just don't think he has matured all the way yet. I've spent so much time trying to forgive him for what he did and spent a lot of energy trying to be the best girlfriend, only to get nothing in return. Am I wrong for even thinking about getting back together with him? is it natural? I guess I just need some help. I'm friends with his friends and they're all telling me I'll be better off without him but I feel that's a really cliche thing to tell someone when they've been broken up with. He's my first love (first everything really) so I'm just having a really hard time letting go. Any advice or comments are much appreciated. Edited October 14, 2015 by hopelessromanticxo
DirtyBerty Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 Yep it's completely natural to want him back. We all wanted out ex's back then they leave us. It's the loss of a friend, partner, companion and soul mate all rolled into one. This is the reason people stay in bad relationships too. The thought of losing all this is worse that staying in unhappy relationships. All I can say is what you've probably already read. There's no quick fix or answer to it but you can make progress and feel better sooner than you think. Keep busy, meet up with friends and try to plan your diary in advance so you've got lots of hobbies and meet ups coming up. Plan to meet up with friends you let go over the years. Keep active and exercise really helps in the long term. Treat yourself and learn to love yourself. Eventually you'll have some good days and they will feel amazing. You'll never feel as low as you did in the first week, even on a bad day. Also consider seeing a counsellor and use your friends to vent your emotions too. Keep up the no contact and you will recover I promise. Good luck 1
louxor Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 What a weak little boy...6 years together and he doesn't even the strength to be face to face with you when he breaks up with you. That's pathetic. As hard as it is to see him go, I would try and focus on how he revealed his true colors in the way he broke up with you. He's weak, he would rather run away than confront an issue like a man - you don't want to be with someone like this. You don't want to be with someone who will just get up and leave when stuff gets difficult. You don't want to be with a selfish quitter. He's already proved himself to be a quitter twice before, this is just the icing on the cake. Imagine if you got into a situation where he needed to protect you in one way or another - would you feel safe knowing that he has a history of just running away from problems? I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, it will hurt immensely, this guy has been a huge part of your life - However, if you try and focus more on who he has proven himself to be, and not who your memory remembers him as, it will be that bit easier to move on. All the best 1
Recommended Posts