Disappearing Man... What gives?!

[Jaded85]

I'm sure this is a common issue for many of the ladies (or possibly men) out there, but I wanted to get some insight on others' opinions since I myself, my friends, and family are baffled.

 

I've been single for awhile, just focusing on me and my life. One of my girl friends recently got on Tinder and suggested I try it out, since it's an easy way to as she put it "ease back into the dating game". I'm fairly skeptical of that kind of dating avenue, but I figured why not.

 

At first it was kind of fun seeing who liked me back or whatever, but guys don't message often on there so it's not as interesting as I'd heard. Anyway, this guy Mike messaged me and we began talking often. He gave me his phone number pretty quickly, but I didn't text him for about a month. We'd talked practically everyday during the month prior and so I felt a month was long enough.

 

We began texting, and about a week in he asked if I wanted to have lunch. I couldn't that day, so he asked what I was doing that Thursday. I didn't have anything planned and I told him that, and he said "oh good, you have plans now... Meet me at this restaurant at 7pm." I was a little caught off guard but found his assertiveness attractive. We met, and dinner was great. We talked and laughed for a good 2-3 hours at the restaurant, and afterwards he'd suggested doing something else. Friends of mine were having a small get together, so I suggested that and he was down. We went and they thought he was super nice, he fit right in, and the night ended with him kissing me goodnight and driving home. He called me when he got home to say he'd had a wonderful time and couldn't believe a girl like me would give him a chance (whatever that means). Regardless it was sweet.

 

The next day we both got off work early, and he called wanting to take me out on his boat. He came and picked me up, we went to dinner, went night fishing on his boat, and he stayed at my place but we didn't sleep together, just made out and went to bed. The next morning we made brunch and two of my friends came over and we all hung out. That night I was going out with close friends for my birthday, and he wanted to go. I told him my closest friends would be there (including my brother and his wife), but he still wanted to go and even offered to be my "DD" so I made it home safely. He came and got along with everyone, and again he slept at my house but nothing sexual happened. Sunday we slept in and I had a family birthday thing to go to, so we parted ways, but when I left he called and was asking about how it went.

 

He called that Monday and Tuesday, and said Tuesday night that he told work he needed off earlier because he "had plans" with me, and he hoped that was okay. I said it was and he came over after work on Wednesday. We just made dinner, ran some errands together, he fixed my leaky toilet in my house lol, and things were fun per usual. We ended up sleeping together that night and in the morning he kissed me goodbye and said he'd be missing me and to have a good day. He left hygiene items, clothes, and some other odds and ends behind which sort of surprised me, but whatever, things were going well.

 

Thursday I received "good morning beautiful" texts and he called and we talked as normal. Friday he texted later than normal saying he'd had an awful day but he wanted to hang out. He texted me about an hour later saying he really likes me a lot and loves hanging out with me, but he just needed to be alone and we'd hang out Saturday. I called him after that and we talked for two hours about his craptastic day. His bad day included getting chewed out at work, not getting his son on his weekend, and an ex of his blowing up his phone trying to cause drama... He said during this call he almost sent his ex a pic of he and I to get it through her head that they were over, but he didn't want her to have a face to try to cause drama via social media and run me off. I told him I wasn't worried about that, said I was excited to see him Saturday (he said the same), and I went to bed.

 

Saturday I worked briefly, and he sent me a message saying he woke up feeling like crap. I called him a little while later, and he said he'd been throwing up and feeling like overall crap. I told him to get some sleep and I'd call him later. I called around 7 but he didn't answer, and I haven't heard from him since.

 

I know that guys disappear a lot of times, and I have kind of been questioning whether or not I slept with him too soon. I didn't have big feelings for him or anything yet, but I did enjoy hanging out with him and I'm left a bit confused since HE was the one primarily telling me how much he liked me, planning all the dates, fixing things around my house, and leaving stuff behind to "mark his territory" or something... Do you guys think I slept with him too soon or do you think this is "female induced"? Like perhaps the "crazy ex" thing had more behind it than he let me in on? I haven't said anything to him after asking if he was okay on Sunday and I'm not going to say anything further, but I'd appreciate others' insight!! He's also still checking out my "snap stories" everytime I post one.. What a turd!

[kpl]

You didn't. This sounds like the kind of guy that would disappear to me. HE moved things along way too soon and he proved to be a boundary buster from the beginning. While you liked his assertiveness in picking the date, it screamed boundary busting. When he pushed to go to a get together with your family and friends - boundary buster. When he left stuff at your home - boundary buster. HE came on way to strong and did and said what you wanted to hear and knew he was probably not going to stick around. That comment about his ex should have made you cringe. You guys just met. He is either not over ex...I'm thinking this is it or just not capable of gradually being in a relationship. He loves the beginning and the thrill and was never really thinking of you as someone he could date because he probably doesn't know how. He seems super emotionally unavailable.

[Jaded85]

Thank you for your response, Kpl. I have a few close guy friends who also suggested the "boundary busting" thing. I was having fun without any real expectations but it did seem like he was pushing for more than most men would so quickly. Those same guy friends also believe there was more to the "crazy ex" thing too... As they say, an ex isn't usually "crazy" without a catalyst (him).

 

I probably will never really know the exact "motive" (if there is one) or his thoughts about things, but it's unfortunate because I thought (and so did my friends and family) that he was genuinely awesome and now I'll be even more cautious than I have been.

[kpl]

I wouldn't be surprised if you heard from him again. It could go 50/50. Since he is in the habit of pushing your boundary I could see him showing up with a text saying "hey." For what it's worth it was only a short period of time and you learned some big lessons.

[Jaded85]

I wouldn't be too terribly surprised if he popped back up either considering how he's still keeping up with my snap stories.. *eyeroll* As I have told my friends, there isn't any good excuse for just disappearing, and I'm sure if he did pop back up he wouldn't want to jump through all the hoops he'd have waiting lol.

 

Yes, I am fortunate that I wasn't really emotionally invested, and it's also good that I now can add "boundary busting" to my list of things to keep an eye out for!

 

I appreciate your responses!

[Versacehottie]

You should be thanking your lucky stars that he disappeared!!! He's red flags all over. You just started dating, he's pushing his way into your life big time and then just a tiny bit of time into dating starts complaining and dropping all his woes on you. He sounds like a drama queen. Be thankful

[Jaded85]

Interesting the way you word this about his woes... His text from Friday night prior to me calling him back said: "would you be upset if we just hung out tomorrow...i dont want to upset you with my issues.. i like you alot i like hanging out with you too.. but tonight i just need to be alone please understand".

 

Maybe there are more issues than I even know about, in which case you're totally right, bullet dodged.

[Versacehottie]

Interesting the way you word this about his woes... His text from Friday night prior to me calling him back said: "would you be upset if we just hung out tomorrow...i dont want to upset you with my issues.. i like you alot i like hanging out with you too.. but tonight i just need to be alone please understand".

 

Maybe there are more issues than I even know about, in which case you're totally right, bullet dodged.

 

Yeah he may be dealing with major life drama of his own and just letting you know the tip of the iceberg; thus meaning he would either not truly be ready for a healthy relationship OR be a good partner at this point. Or my guess is that he has bad judgement and that would be a constant in a relationship with him. That's why it's coming out right now, way too soon. If it's honestly that troubling of time in his life, he really has no business to start a relationship now or impose that on a new gf (not even a gf yet so he really has some boundary issues)--this is why I'm pretty sure he has poor judgement and probably always would not make a good bf. Just my guess.

[jam.over.jelly]

It seems to me like he does like you, but at the same time, I'm guessing he and his ex have unresolved feelings, or whatever it is that he's dealing with that makes him not available emotionally, and he's just trying to fill that void by hanging out with you. Doesn't mean he doesn't like you, seems like he does, but he's just not in the right place to give you what you deserve. I wouldn't give this guy a chance.

[Jaded85]

Yeah he may be dealing with major life drama of his own and just letting you know the tip of the iceberg; thus meaning he would either not truly be ready for a healthy relationship OR be a good partner at this point. Or my guess is that he has bad judgement and that would be a constant in a relationship with him. That's why it's coming out right now, way too soon. If it's honestly that troubling of time in his life, he really has no business to start a relationship now or impose that on a new gf (not even a gf yet so he really has some boundary issues)--this is why I'm pretty sure he has poor judgement and probably always would not make a good bf. Just my guess.

 

Agreed 100%. I mean don't get me wrong, even post-disappearance I don't have hard feelings for the guy or think he's a jerk exactly, but I do think that his explanation of "issues" may very well be the "tip of the iceberg" as you say. He has seemed pretty concerned about the ex "running me off", which struck me as odd because A. We were still newly dating, and B. Typically exes aren't still texting 20 times a day if you made it clear you're done. No matter what he has growing up to do.

[Jaded85]

It seems to me like he does like you, but at the same time, I'm guessing he and his ex have unresolved feelings, or whatever it is that he's dealing with that makes him not available emotionally, and he's just trying to fill that void by hanging out with you. Doesn't mean he doesn't like you, seems like he does, but he's just not in the right place to give you what you deserve. I wouldn't give this guy a chance.

 

Thanks for your response jam! (And yours too Versace!)

 

I agree with what you're saying. His actions indicated he liked me, but he DID come on a bit strong, which could attribute to what you're saying about "filling the void". Perhaps he liked me but simply isn't over the issues created with the ex and he didn't know how to keep things going. I don't know, but if he tries to come around again in the future (which I tend to doubt in this case, but you never know), I don't see how he could attempt justifying disappearing in a convincing way.

 

He really seemed great and he treated me like a princess every time we went out or spent time together, but the sudden inconsistency is a serious turn off and I won't be holding my breath.

[Versacehottie]

Agreed 100%. I mean don't get me wrong, even post-disappearance I don't have hard feelings for the guy or think he's a jerk exactly, but I do think that his explanation of "issues" may very well be the "tip of the iceberg" as you say. He has seemed pretty concerned about the ex "running me off", which struck me as odd because A. We were still newly dating, and B. Typically exes aren't still texting 20 times a day if you made it clear you're done. No matter what he has growing up to do.

 

You get it already. Basically people with "crazy" exes are participants in the crazy. And if he was stable and had potential to be a good bf, he'd be shielding you from that completely so it wouldn't scare you off. Not dragging you into it like some trashy people soap opera, or involving you in the slightest by sharing it to the extent he has shared it. Drama queen. No ill will, like you said. Count yourself lucky to be extracted.

 

The only thing he gets points for (kind of) is saying it was an off night for him could he reschedule? That is acceptable, I guess (though I wouldn't like). But maybe it was just trying to open the door to involve you and dump his problems on you. Again, if he has that many problems he should probably wait to be dating. Secondly, you are the girl he's dating not his therapist. He should be putting his best foot forward, trying to impress you at this stage so that you don't get scared away. That's what normal, stable guys do. If he's dumping his problems on you or referencing heavy or drama-laden stuff NOW, imagine when he feels more comfortable!!! Much more of the same.

 

His actions are telling (before the disappearing act). He's not ready to date: needs someone to lean on, not a girlfriend. OR he is always like this. Both bad reasons to continue to date him. Worst case scenario: all this sh*t is going on but he is somewhat ready to date. A stable MAN with your feelings in mind and honestly open to starting a relationship with you, would welcome the night off from his problems to enjoy it with you and could easily keep his mouth shut about his problems. Treating you well and having an enjoyable night with you would give him his ummph back at least for the evening. A guy who enjoys drama, creates drama or is a heavy or easily depressed immature person with poor coping skills OR at an awful time in his life but using the bad judgement to involve another for his own personal gain, tries to involve you in his problems for support or more drama--both selfish reasons. And not a guy you want to date.

[kpl]

I find these type of men to be the scariest for me to encounter. They have no regard for other ppl's feelings and move and act in a way that only benefits them. Ppl who also test your boundaries will do so and see nothing wrong it. I'm sure him and his crazy ex have some stories about how they crossed the line with each other.

 

He also screams emotional vampire. Dumps his feelings and you are left feeling drained b/c you would spend all night helping him stay positive. The lack of self awareness for guys like this is terrifying for me and they do such a good job of "hooking" you. I dated someone like this for 8 mos and had to figure out how to trust my instincts all over again...so maybe I'm projecting haha but good riddance!

[Jaded85]

You get it already. Basically people with "crazy" exes are participants in the crazy. And if he was stable and had potential to be a good bf, he'd be shielding you from that completely so it wouldn't scare you off. Not dragging you into it like some trashy people soap opera, or involving you in the slightest by sharing it to the extent he has shared it. Drama queen. No ill will, like you said. Count yourself lucky to be extracted.

 

The only thing he gets points for (kind of) is saying it was an off night for him could he reschedule? That is acceptable, I guess (though I wouldn't like). But maybe it was just trying to open the door to involve you and dump his problems on you. Again, if he has that many problems he should probably wait to be dating. Secondly, you are the girl he's dating not his therapist. He should be putting his best foot forward, trying to impress you at this stage so that you don't get scared away. That's what normal, stable guys do. If he's dumping his problems on you or referencing heavy or drama-laden stuff NOW, imagine when he feels more comfortable!!! Much more of the same.

 

His actions are telling (before the disappearing act). He's not ready to date: needs someone to lean on, not a girlfriend. OR he is always like this. Both bad reasons to continue to date him. Worst case scenario: all this sh*t is going on but he is somewhat ready to date. A stable MAN with your feelings in mind and honestly open to starting a relationship with you, would welcome the night off from his problems to enjoy it with you and could easily keep his mouth shut about his problems. Treating you well and having an enjoyable night with you would give him his ummph back at least for the evening. A guy who enjoys drama, creates drama or is a heavy or easily depressed immature person with poor coping skills OR at an awful time in his life but using the bad judgement to involve another for his own personal gain, tries to involve you in his problems for support or more drama--both selfish reasons. And not a guy you want to date.

 

 

 

Oh I have learned in earlier years about what it really means when people say they have a "crazy" ex lol.

 

He was definitely trying to impress me prior to the disappearance, but looking at it in hindsight it almost seems like he was going a bit overboard for such a new "relationship" (of sorts). He downplayed the ex (little to no mention of her) until after we'd gone out and spent time together several times, so who knows what else he downplayed. Just as you kind of said, it's like once the comfort level grew the more bombs he dropped.

 

I really don't think he's a bad person or anything as I said before, but I agree that he has growing up to do and won't be "boyfriend material" for any girl until he does so. It almost seems to me like he was laying it on thick (the princess treatment, for lack of a better phrase) and then didn't know how to keep it going or something.

 

I also find your comment about how a man should want to de-stress with you instead of basking in it alone to be valid. He'd had zero issues de-stressing up until that point... Hence me not hearing about any of it. Ah well, it'll be a harder lesson for him to learn than me I suppose.

[Jaded85]

I find these type of men to be the scariest for me to encounter. They have no regard for other ppl's feelings and move and act in a way that only benefits them. Ppl who also test your boundaries will do so and see nothing wrong it. I'm sure him and his crazy ex have some stories about how they crossed the line with each other.

 

He also screams emotional vampire. Dumps his feelings and you are left feeling drained b/c you would spend all night helping him stay positive. The lack of self awareness for guys like this is terrifying for me and they do such a good job of "hooking" you. I dated someone like this for 8 mos and had to figure out how to trust my instincts all over again...so maybe I'm projecting haha but good riddance!

 

 

I guess the best word I can find to describe this situation for me is "surprising". I've dated all sorts in the past, but I've learned a lot and have been single for quite awhile. I didn't anticipate him to come along and be SO impressive and SO thoughtful and SO pursuant, that was the initial surprise. And then, just as equally surprising, he disappeared.

 

Maybe I'm being too generous with this statement, but I still genuinely don't think he set all this up knowing he'd disappear. I think he did like me quite a bit but either A. Couldn't keep up with his own facade of seeming so great and thought I'd possibly ditch him, or B. Didn't know how to explain whatever else was going on or how to justify anything so he just bounced. Neither is a good reason but I don't think he purposely did all this. For all I know maybe he feels bad about it and that's why he's still checking up on my snap stuff.

 

Regardless, I'd definitely prefer a consistent man when it comes to my dating life and he has shown he isn't capable of that currently.

[Bitter Feminist]

I'm sure this is a common issue for many of the ladies (or possibly men) out there, but I wanted to get some insight on others' opinions since I myself, my friends, and family are baffled.

 

I've been single for awhile, just focusing on me and my life. One of my girl friends recently got on Tinder and suggested I try it out, since it's an easy way to as she put it "ease back into the dating game". I'm fairly skeptical of that kind of dating avenue, but I figured why not.

 

At first it was kind of fun seeing who liked me back or whatever, but guys don't message often on there so it's not as interesting as I'd heard. Anyway, this guy Mike messaged me and we began talking often. He gave me his phone number pretty quickly, but I didn't text him for about a month. We'd talked practically everyday during the month prior and so I felt a month was long enough.

 

We began texting, and about a week in he asked if I wanted to have lunch. I couldn't that day, so he asked what I was doing that Thursday. I didn't have anything planned and I told him that, and he said "oh good, you have plans now... Meet me at this restaurant at 7pm." I was a little caught off guard but found his assertiveness attractive. We met, and dinner was great. We talked and laughed for a good 2-3 hours at the restaurant, and afterwards he'd suggested doing something else. Friends of mine were having a small get together, so I suggested that and he was down. We went and they thought he was super nice, he fit right in, and the night ended with him kissing me goodnight and driving home. He called me when he got home to say he'd had a wonderful time and couldn't believe a girl like me would give him a chance (whatever that means). Regardless it was sweet.

 

The next day we both got off work early, and he called wanting to take me out on his boat. He came and picked me up, we went to dinner, went night fishing on his boat, and he stayed at my place but we didn't sleep together, just made out and went to bed. The next morning we made brunch and two of my friends came over and we all hung out. That night I was going out with close friends for my birthday, and he wanted to go. I told him my closest friends would be there (including my brother and his wife), but he still wanted to go and even offered to be my "DD" so I made it home safely. He came and got along with everyone, and again he slept at my house but nothing sexual happened. Sunday we slept in and I had a family birthday thing to go to, so we parted ways, but when I left he called and was asking about how it went.

 

He called that Monday and Tuesday, and said Tuesday night that he told work he needed off earlier because he "had plans" with me, and he hoped that was okay. I said it was and he came over after work on Wednesday. We just made dinner, ran some errands together, he fixed my leaky toilet in my house lol, and things were fun per usual. We ended up sleeping together that night and in the morning he kissed me goodbye and said he'd be missing me and to have a good day. He left hygiene items, clothes, and some other odds and ends behind which sort of surprised me, but whatever, things were going well.

 

Thursday I received "good morning beautiful" texts and he called and we talked as normal. Friday he texted later than normal saying he'd had an awful day but he wanted to hang out. He texted me about an hour later saying he really likes me a lot and loves hanging out with me, but he just needed to be alone and we'd hang out Saturday. I called him after that and we talked for two hours about his craptastic day. His bad day included getting chewed out at work, not getting his son on his weekend, and an ex of his blowing up his phone trying to cause drama... He said during this call he almost sent his ex a pic of he and I to get it through her head that they were over, but he didn't want her to have a face to try to cause drama via social media and run me off. I told him I wasn't worried about that, said I was excited to see him Saturday (he said the same), and I went to bed.

 

Saturday I worked briefly, and he sent me a message saying he woke up feeling like crap. I called him a little while later, and he said he'd been throwing up and feeling like overall crap. I told him to get some sleep and I'd call him later. I called around 7 but he didn't answer, and I haven't heard from him since.

 

I know that guys disappear a lot of times, and I have kind of been questioning whether or not I slept with him too soon. I didn't have big feelings for him or anything yet, but I did enjoy hanging out with him and I'm left a bit confused since HE was the one primarily telling me how much he liked me, planning all the dates, fixing things around my house, and leaving stuff behind to "mark his territory" or something... Do you guys think I slept with him too soon or do you think this is "female induced"? Like perhaps the "crazy ex" thing had more behind it than he let me in on? I haven't said anything to him after asking if he was okay on Sunday and I'm not going to say anything further, but I'd appreciate others' insight!! He's also still checking out my "snap stories" everytime I post one.. What a turd!

Excuse me if I sound judgmental, but If you didn't have big feelings for him why did you have sex with him? And why are you posting here? It is important to answer those questions to yourself as of what do you really miss, the guy himself or the attention/the way he made you feel about yourself?

[Jaded85]

Excuse me if I sound judgmental, but If you didn't have big feelings for him why did you have sex with him? And why are you posting here? It is important to answer those questions to yourself as of what do you really miss, the guy himself or the attention/the way he made you feel about yourself?

 

You do sound judgmental, but that's fine.

 

Maybe it sounds very "millennial" of me, but sex isn't THAT big of a deal to me. I mean, I don't sleep around (this guy was #2 for the entire duration of 2015), but we'd been on several dates and had known each other a couple months... To me that's about the time you should be verifying whether or not you're compatible on all levels.

 

I don't miss the guy exactly, and as I mentioned in earlier posts, I've been single for awhile. I'm confident in myself and know what I bring to the table in a relationship. Everyone enjoys attention, so of course that was nice to feel, but it was more the "surprise" of it all (good surprise, then bad surprise) that's got me a bit confused. I'm here because the few people I've talked to in my circle as well as myself were caught off guard by this situation and I wanted other opinions. Sometimes it helps to have unbiased opinions.

[joseb]

I think both he and you came on too strong. Introducing him to friends on a first date??

Looks like you both went into full relationship mode from the first day.

 

Things that burn that big and bright don't last.

[Jaded85]

I think both he and you came on too strong. Introducing him to friends on a first date??

Looks like you both went into full relationship mode from the first day.

 

Things that burn that big and bright don't last.

 

Thank you for your response!

 

Yikes, I didn't think about it that way. During the month-month and a half time period prior to meeting up, we'd talked about our weekend plans and friends/co-workers/etc. (by name), and of course my friends (and his) had been inquiring about each of us so I guess because he had known about them and vice versa, I didn't see it as premature.

[joseb]

Thank you for your response!

 

Yikes, I didn't think about it that way. During the month-month and a half time period prior to meeting up, we'd talked about our weekend plans and friends/co-workers/etc. (by name), and of course my friends (and his) had been inquiring about each of us so I guess because he had known about them and vice versa, I didn't see it as premature.

 

Well, that kind of explains it a little.

 

Though on the other hand, you two probably spent too much time texting before meeting up. That's a personal peeve of mine. I think it's a bad idea.

[Lois_Griffin]

I'm not so sure his ex is as 'crazy' as he painted her.

 

It sounds as though he clearly had unfinished business with her and in a bid to get over her and move on, he tried to push himself into a relationship with you. Rather than build it slowly, he tried to speed things up with you so it would basically be at the same stage things had been with his ex before their break up. Like he was trying to replace what he lost.

 

I guess she got wind of your relationship (or he told her in the hopes of getting her back). I have the feeling they're trying to make a go of it again.

 

Regardless of his reasoning for what he did, that doesn't give him the right to disrespect you and treat you as a non-entity. I'd block him every possible way you can - on your cell, your social networks, etc. etc. You don't owe him a damned thing at this point and CERTAINLY no loyalty.

[Zippy2000]

Kind of reminds me of a girl I dated. She started to say she wasnt feeling very well. Started to download stress stories on me at her work.

 

A couple of weeks later she told me her stress levels were very high and work was getting too busy for her and her brother got arrested for having child porn.

 

I look back at her now and believe it was all lies to make our relationship come to an end. In general people dont want to be seen as the villian when the want to break up. They use stories, excuses or "alibis" if you like.

 

I wouldnt be surprised if he does break up he will use these as excuses in order not to see you.

[Jaded85]

Well, that kind of explains it a little.

 

Though on the other hand, you two probably spent too much time texting before meeting up. That's a personal peeve of mine. I think it's a bad idea.

 

That's possible. My intention with waiting so long before meeting was primarily to get to know him a little to see if he was even someone worth meeting, but that evidently didn't do foreshadow anything that happened so it was a bit useless to do that.

[Jaded85]

I'm not so sure his ex is as 'crazy' as he painted her.

 

It sounds as though he clearly had unfinished business with her and in a bid to get over her and move on, he tried to push himself into a relationship with you. Rather than build it slowly, he tried to speed things up with you so it would basically be at the same stage things had been with his ex before their break up. Like he was trying to replace what he lost.

 

I guess she got wind of your relationship (or he told her in the hopes of getting her back). I have the feeling they're trying to make a go of it again.

 

Regardless of his reasoning for what he did, that doesn't give him the right to disrespect you and treat you as a non-entity. I'd block him every possible way you can - on your cell, your social networks, etc. etc. You don't owe him a damned thing at this point and CERTAINLY no loyalty.

 

I tend to agree with this. Considering I generally do not believe he's a jerk or did any of this intentionally, the only logical explanation in my mind is some kind of female-induced explanation.

 

I'm not mad per se at him, and it was too early to have any deep feelings, but it is a little disheartening that he came off so awesomely initially only to just disappear out of no where. I'm not going to block him from anything, but I'm also not going to be reaching out, nor will I be enthusiastic about reconnecting if he happens to pop back up at some point.

 

If he can work things out with his ex, so be it, but based on what he'd said, their relationship had been pretty short and she had already broken trust multiple times, so the "loser" in all of this isn't me.

[Versacehottie]

I tend to agree with this. Considering I generally do not believe he's a jerk or did any of this intentionally, the only logical explanation in my mind is some kind of female-induced explanation.

 

I'm not mad per se at him, and it was too early to have any deep feelings, but it is a little disheartening that he came off so awesomely initially only to just disappear out of no where. I'm not going to block him from anything, but I'm also not going to be reaching out, nor will I be enthusiastic about reconnecting if he happens to pop back up at some point.

 

If he can work things out with his ex, so be it, but based on what he'd said, their relationship had been pretty short and she had already broken trust multiple times, so the "loser" in all of this isn't me.

 

Yet more evidence that he relishes drama.