I just can't wrap my head around this type of thinking!

[Mapper71]

So yesterday on Facebook I see posts from this one guy. I don't know him terribly well, but he races with my husband but is on my friends list as is his wife. His posts were a little cryptic but it sounded like his wife had left him and he was really broken up about it. It was weird because just a couple of months ago she was gushing on their anniversary about he was her soul mate and best friend. I see that she had de-friended me and my husband and several other people and people were asking him "Why did she de-friend me?" and he would tell them to "ask her". Then later on in the afternoon, while he was still listing himself as married and had put up several pictures of the two of them together she posted that she was now in a relationship with this other guy who isn't even from the area and is some actor in L.A.

 

I can't even fathom having an affair (no matter how bad things are) and then, to add insult to injury, to also post online for the world to see that you are in a relationship with someone else while your husband is hurting and basically the whole thing is just coming to light. I mean less than two weeks ago she was posting stuff on her husband's page that was dorky and loving and then boom, she leaves him. The guy isn't even from the area and is some actor in L.A. No idea how they met, but he posted on his page back on October 4 that he was in a relationship but didn't say with who, and now a week later they both say they are with each other.

 

Maybe I didn't get the memo, but when you take wedding vows, you aren't just saying them to say them and then throw them out the window the next time some guy who gets your juices flowing hits on you!

[Michelle ma Belle]

This is why I hate Facebook...NOTHING is ever as it appears to be!

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

I wonder if he will take her back once her A doesn't work out and she realizes her AP never loved her and just wanted some poon and she was weak enough to fall for his game.

[Mapper71]

I wonder if he will take her back once her A doesn't work out and she realizes her AP never loved her and just wanted some poon and she was weak enough to fall for his game.

 

Who knows! If I was her, there's no way I'd want to even try to come back after everyone knows what I had done. This guy looks like a total douche too. I guess he was somewhat of a child actor 30 years ago (Wikipedia says he was particulary popular in Europe as a child) and now he's all tatooed and bad ass. He looks like nothing but trouble to me!

 

But like a month ago she started posting on Facebook that she's not going to sugar coat anything anymore and she's heard enough BS and she's moving into her "bad" phase. Um yeah, I guess so!

[Jersey born raised]

I think this is a matter you should discuss with your husband and get him to reach out. Perhaps suggest posting here, or if this is to close, another board. When I was with my ex on two occasions I discussed similar situations and asked her to reach out.

 

Some will wonder why, marriage is a team.

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

But like a month ago she started posting on Facebook that she's not going to sugar coat anything anymore and she's heard enough BS and she's moving into her "bad" phase. Um yeah, I guess so!

 

Sounds like something someone on drugs would say tbh.

[TexasMan68]

Facebook is the social equivalent of the Jerry Springer show.

[Mapper71]

They had been planning this halfway around the world trip for almost a year. Going to a tropical paradise. The trip was supposed to happen any day now and she had been posting over the last few months how much time it took to book these places. She kept posting pictures of the amazing trip they took last year together and then....this! Even I can't wrap my head around what happened or how this other guy has become such a great catch when he doesn't even live nearby! I mean I don't even really know her so I don't know why I am so wrapped up in this, but it just dumbfounds me! Every time we saw them together they seemed so in love. She would always come down and cheer him on during race weekends.

Edited October 13, 2015 by Mapper71

[Michelle ma Belle]

Maybe it's time you took a break from FB if you find yourself getting too wrapped up in people's drama :/

[Mapper71]

Maybe it's time you took a break from FB if you find yourself getting too wrapped up in people's drama :/

 

Yeah, you are probably right

[Try]

Maybe I didn't get the memo, but when you take wedding vows, you aren't just saying them to say them and then throw them out the window the next time some guy who gets your juices flowing hits on you!

The minute that you said some "actor" from Los Angeles, Hollywood rules apply. For example, when Producer Simon Cowell got a friend's wife pregnant, and he had her move in with him while she was still married, all the interviewers of Simon Cowell happily asked him if he was looking forward to becoming a father. They completely ignored the fact that the child would be born of an affair and that at the time of the interview she was still married to someone else. He still has not married her BTW. Edited October 13, 2015 by Try

[Mapper71]

The minute that you said some "actor" from Los Angeles, Hollywood rules apply. For example, when Producer Simon Cowell got a friend's wife pregnant, and he had her move in with him while she was still married, all the interviewers of Simon Cowell happily asked him if he was looking forward to becoming a father. They completely ignored the fact that the child would be born of an affair and that at the time of the interview she was still married to someone else. He still has not married her BTW.

 

I went and read some of the posts on this guy's Facebook page and let me tell you that he seems pretty whackadoodle! Guns and tattoos and a picture of a gun next to his bedside table because he has some crazed fans! He even said in one of his posts that he can't come visit someone because his fiance is coming to visit in a couple of weeks! His fiance who I am assuming is this same girl who just told her husband she's leaving him!

[Gloria25]

I've learned sadly that Facebook is for some people, the only attention they'll ever get in their sad, miserable lives...

 

Yes, if you tune into the smiley pics, endless selfies, you'll somehow get hypnotized to believe the nonsense of a fraud that they are portraying when in real life their RL is like a bad movie.

 

I think the less friends someone has on FB, the less photos, the more "selective" (i.e. using privacy) on their photos is a measure of the person's character.

 

I use FB to genuinely share stuff with friends and family. There was a time I'd have to carve out hrs to txt, e-mail, even mail family and friends updates on what was going on with me and stuff. I keep "private" pics with my family and stuff and reserve it to whomever I friend - not the general public. I have no need for "fake" friends who I think really like me cuz they take a second out of their day to click "like" on something and probably can't remember the last time they picked up the phone to call me and/or visit me.

 

I also use FB to put stuff there that a potential guy could look up to get to know me better with. So, I'm very selective as to what I put on there. I don't put pics of every guy I'm dating. That's just silly and immature.

 

Hey, if you think the WS in this thread is bad? One WS was seeing another married spouse and both of them went to church - the same church she and her husband frequented, kids and all, still married, and didn't give a hoot who cared/said anything. Now, that is low of low if you ask me...in God's house out of all places and dragging the kids along:sick:

[todreaminblue]

facebook is the devil.....

 

i dont like it either when i read a post from a friend or my kids and i cringe...with my kids its easier because i just say to them take it down and until you do i am not talking to you...fights.....arguments...cheating all publicised.....and its just yuck to wade through...its why i will never ever post a fight or disagreement for want of a better word i have with anyone on facebook......i try not to comment on other peoples fights either......

 

 

i think somethings dont ever need to be on facebook..cryptic or not.and problems in a marriage should be for a doctor or counsellors office and between the parties involved.....not judged by friends of friends and twittered about later in the day....its sadness that spreads..and the despair that one party(in your op) feels when the other is posting happy joy joy shots in another relationship when one is dying......is horrible.......insensitive....and lacks any form of compassion or loyalty........but there i go ...judging someone i dont know on facebook...so ill stop now........deb

[Mapper71]

Well I always kind of wondered about her because she was always posting selfies of her and her cleavage. If I were her husband, I wouldn't want that out thee for everyone to see. I guess the fact that he was out of town 5 days a week for work didn't help the situation either.

[SpiralOut]

As soon as I see someone gushing on FB about how happy they are and how much they love their SO, I call bull**** on it. It's normal to do that in small amounts, but once it becomes excessive that's just someone trying really hard to convince themselves (and others) that they are happy when in reality they aren't happy at all. It's the equivalent of the man who buys a super cool fancy car to make up for something he's missing.

[bachdude]

I know an example of a woman gushing abut her husband only for all of us to find out later the real story of his drinking problem and abusive behavior. I'm not saying this is what is happening in this case, but I think sometimes gushing about a spouse can be a smoke screen.