Author cinnamonapples86 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 The other option is tell him that you are going to date others. When he has time to date you on a regular basis to let him know. I don't know your ages.... If he is traveling alot he likely set up plans with fail and friends that is too early to bring someone you are just seeing. I'm 30 an he's 36
Author cinnamonapples86 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 There comes a point where someone is just too busy. You obviously have never been in a job where you are traveling a ton and how it wears on you. All these little things you fo over the course of a day is noe thrown into one day because you have been hone for two weeks. One day was already marked off because of prior known plans like your parents borthday. We're he not traveling for work...he would have made time. If not you could judge him b6 that measure of making time. Sometimes people don't have time. It's not a reflection of 8nterest. You sound like him! lol. He has said plenty times before that he is very interested in me and that he likes me a lot. He keeps in touch daily and has never ignored me or disappeared so I think there is still some interest there. I think when he gets home he starts to focus on everything else he didn't do when he was away and then he catches up with friends and then he kind of thinks of me once everything has settled. It's like I'm an after thought almost. The issue isn't necessarily interest. Its more so if I'm getting what I want from this. Physically, sexually, and emotionally its not really fulfilling. But I also think that if we were more connected, I'd be on the front of his mind whenever he returns. The last time he returned from a trip, I didn't call him once or answer his texts while he was away so he called me like 10 times in a row and sent multiple texts trying to get a hold of me...it was kind of strange.
fitnessfan365 Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 Geez, you act as if you never liked someone before. Obviously, if you are compatible with someone and everything else is great EXCEPT for their availability, most people (with any human emotions at least) would still date the person just to see if its something that can be worked out over time and with communication. Interacting with people is about compromise, maybe after awhile, we could have progressed enough to make it work, that was my assumption. And he did say that it was only recent that he got so busy. Don't act like my willingness to try was a bad idea. I knew he'd be somewhat unavailable but he never said he would be THIS unavailable so it was a learning experience for me. I tried because I thought it was worth it...now I see its not. That's the end. Did he say how much he traveled and how busy his life was in general when you first met him? Usually if someone has limited availability because of work this is something you find out relatively soon. So if that was the case and you knew off the bat that it conflicted with what you want, I'm just surprised you jumped in thinking it would change. I mean if I know I'm looking for a woman that has enough free time to see me somewhat regularly and she says "I'm only around a few times per month because work has me traveling a lot", I wouldn't start dating her in the first place. That's all I'm saying.
Author cinnamonapples86 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 Did he say how much he traveled and how busy his life was in general when you first met him? Usually if someone has limited availability because of work this is something you find out relatively soon. So if that was the case and you knew off the bat that it conflicted with what you want, I'm just surprised you jumped in thinking it would change. I mean if I know I'm looking for a woman that has enough free time to see me somewhat regularly and she says "I'm only around a few times per month because work has me traveling a lot", I wouldn't start dating her in the first place. That's all I'm saying. I think you missed the part where I said I knew he'd be busy but I didn't know that he'd be THIS busy! And no, even he didn't know that he was going to be traveling this much. He said that its been busier than usual which gave me the impression that this isn't normal which means at some point it will go back to normal one day.
Versacehottie Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 The other option is tell him that you are going to date others. When he has time to date you on a regular basis to let him know. I don't know your ages.... If he is traveling alot he likely set up plans with fail and friends that is too early to bring someone you are just seeing. Yeah, agreed. I was going to say OP should do more of the same: nonchalantly tell him about her dates or drop little things into conversation where he knows she is dating--but that is before I found out he was going away for a month. Little tough and can backfire on just any guy--but already proves it works to an extent on this one. I wouldn't do it to play games per se but keep your options open. This is just one possible way to deal with it however, I think what BlueL is recommending you say in your exit speech is good. Listen, if you both handle with dignity, who knows what will happen in the future. Automatically, OP buys some of her value back by cutting it off first and in a dignified, respectful way. "Just what you are offering isn't enough for me, bye."--well that's the message but say like BlueeyeL said. BTW, having been on both sides of the coin with being too busy and receiving end of someone who was too busy--it is not always a reflection of interest. Personal preference whether you want to live your life by rigid personal standards or be more open to what happens. Sometimes you don't get what you want immediately but it doesn't mean you don't get it or vice versa. Could be down the road. I think an open approach works best if the person hasn't mistreated you and you do find there is a special connection. But to each his/her own. You don't have to be doormat in the process if you don't treat yourself like one. That's why if OP is feeling like she should pull the plug at this moment, she should be all means do it. If he comes back later with more to offer in terms of his time and her priority, well then good. As long as she lives her life in the meantime--she is already doing that proven by the date she accepted recently. Good luck, OP. 1
Author cinnamonapples86 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 Yeah, agreed. I was going to say OP should do more of the same: nonchalantly tell him about her dates or drop little things into conversation where he knows she is dating--but that is before I found out he was going away for a month. Little tough and can backfire on just any guy--but already proves it works to an extent on this one. I wouldn't do it to play games per se but keep your options open. This is just one possible way to deal with it however, I think what BlueL is recommending you say in your exit speech is good. Listen, if you both handle with dignity, who knows what will happen in the future. Automatically, OP buys some of her value back by cutting it off first and in a dignified, respectful way. "Just what you are offering isn't enough for me, bye."--well that's the message but say like BlueeyeL said. BTW, having been on both sides of the coin with being too busy and receiving end of someone who was too busy--it is not always a reflection of interest. Personal preference whether you want to live your life by rigid personal standards or be more open to what happens. Sometimes you don't get what you want immediately but it doesn't mean you don't get it or vice versa. Could be down the road. I think an open approach works best if the person hasn't mistreated you and you do find there is a special connection. But to each his/her own. You don't have to be doormat in the process if you don't treat yourself like one. That's why if OP is feeling like she should pull the plug at this moment, she should be all means do it. If he comes back later with more to offer in terms of his time and her priority, well then good. As long as she lives her life in the meantime--she is already doing that proven by the date she accepted recently. Good luck, OP. Great response! Like most women, I'm afraid of coming across as a doormat. Plus its exhausted wanting to be next to someone you can't be next to when you want. Some nights I just want him to come over without there being something in the way, you know. But I like to end things on good notes so I'm not angry or emotional about it. Just gotta find a man who is more available. And who knows, maybe he may become more available one day but until then I'll keep my options open. 1
Zippy2000 Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 Depends on how much do you like him. Have you tried to communicate to him first that you would like to see him more? Kind of reminds me of a scenario where you are dating on line. You can see their profile is active on the net but they arent available to you but to someone else online. Are you sure hes not holding back to see whats out there? Nothing worse than being a back pocket girlfriend.
Author cinnamonapples86 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 (edited) Depends on how much do you like him. Have you tried to communicate to him first that you would like to see him more? Kind of reminds me of a scenario where you are dating on line. You can see their profile is active on the net but they arent available to you but to someone else online. Are you sure hes not holding back to see whats out there? Nothing worse than being a back pocket girlfriend. I think I said in my initial post that I've talked to him about this twice already so he is well aware of the fact that I want more time. He says he isn't seeing anyone else but he could very well be looking for someone else and holding out for any missed opportunities. He's very nice and considerate of people's feelings so I don't think he'll ever tell me that he's keeping me around until something better comes along but for the life of me. I couldn't imagine another woman being that much better than me! LOL. I know that sounds arrogant but I think I have a lot to offer personality/intelligence wise plus I'm easy on the eyes. Last time he brought me around his friends, the guys kept making comments on how beautiful I was and people were staring a lot. But of course those things don't matter. He told me that he loves talking to me because I'm so smart and fun to be around and he said I had the perfect features and an amazing body. So naturally in my mind, I'm like WTF is the problem then!!! Why are we still at this same place months later...I know you're busy but...come on man, do I look like the type of girl who should be wasting her time???... LOL A part of me thinks he's moving slow to find out what's wrong with me. Like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop to find out if Im crazy, or difficult or what ever else people find out after they commit to someone. I went on a date with a guy once and he asked me, "so what is wrong with you because everything seems so perfect." These two wouldn't be the first guys who freaked out about dating me because they thought it was too good to be true. Had men literally tell me this before, even my ex boyfriends. I think some guys realize that Im the type of girl you should want to keep and it freaks them out sometimes...I don't know. Edited October 13, 2015 by cinnamonapples86
Zippy2000 Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 I truly wish you well whatever you think of and do. If you do send him a message to say you want to end it. Think how he may respond. You see us men like to fix things, and if he hears that you are leaving. He might start all that mad texting and calling fearing he will lose you. Or He may sit back and do nothing. If its the latter option I think you will know it wasnt meant to be. Dont over think it. I mans availibility is a guage on how interested he is to you.
Ami1uwant Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 You sound like him! lol. He has said plenty times before that he is very interested in me and that he likes me a lot. He keeps in touch daily and has never ignored me or disappeared so I think there is still some interest there. I think when he gets home he starts to focus on everything else he didn't do when he was away and then he catches up with friends and then he kind of thinks of me once everything has settled. It's like I'm an after thought almost. The issue isn't necessarily interest. Its more so if I'm getting what I want from this. Physically, sexually, and emotionally its not really fulfilling. But I also think that if we were more connected, I'd be on the front of his mind whenever he returns. The last time he returned from a trip, I didn't call him once or answer his texts while he was away so he called me like 10 times in a row and sent multiple texts trying to get a hold of me...it was kind of strange. Only you can tell if he is telling you the truth. Sometimes you can find someone who is stringing you along making you SN option 2 while he dates others. I think that train of thought is why others are thinking he should sacrifice his career for you, I get what you want.... This means you are at a crossroads. You need to find out if there is a light at the end of this tunnel with work travel. Find out what he wants. A female friend of mine shared with me a situation similar to this that you have gone through. Thus person managed his own business and was very hands on with it. He had employees but he felt he had to be there for the big deals. On top of it he also find a side business on the werkends. She went through something similar to you. It was very sporadic in dating, he would be gone for weeks at a time. When he was with her he was all in with her. It took him a year to finally change after her talking to him about what his priorities were in life.
Ami1uwant Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 I think I said in my initial post that I've talked to him about this twice already so he is well aware of the fact that I want more time. He says he isn't seeing anyone else but he could very well be looking for someone else and holding out for any missed opportunities. He's very nice and considerate of people's feelings so I don't think he'll ever tell me that he's keeping me around until something better comes along but for the life of me. I couldn't imagine another woman being that much better than me! LOL. I know that sounds arrogant but I think I have a lot to offer personality/intelligence wise plus I'm easy on the eyes. Last time he brought me around his friends, the guys kept making comments on how beautiful I was and people were staring a lot. But of course those things don't matter. He told me that he loves talking to me because I'm so smart and fun to be around and he said I had the perfect features and an amazing body. So naturally in my mind, I'm like WTF is the problem then!!! Why are we still at this same place months later...I know you're busy but...come on man, do I look like the type of girl who should be wasting her time???... LOL A part of me thinks he's moving slow to find out what's wrong with me. Like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop to find out if Im crazy, or difficult or what ever else people find out after they commit to someone. I went on a date with a guy once and he asked me, "so what is wrong with you because everything seems so perfect." These two wouldn't be the first guys who freaked out about dating me because they thought it was too good to be true. Had men literally tell me this before, even my ex boyfriends. I think some guys realize that Im the type of girl you should want to keep and it freaks them out sometimes...I don't know. Has he shared with you his past dating history? Has he been married? Are you the first one he has dated in a while thus he doesn't know he is doing something wrong? How far apart do you two live? When he comes back on a trip plan on meeting him at the airport and "kidnap" him
RoseWater Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 This man doesn't even see himself as being in a relationship with you. OP, what is making you assume you guys are in a relationship?
BluEyeL Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 It has been said here a million times --- when a man (or woman if roles are reversed) is into you, no matter how "busy" they are, they make time. There is absolutely no excuse for only seeing her once a month for heaven's sake, especially considering they live in the same town. That is ludicrous. Yeah you know what they say, busy is another word for arsehole. Arsehole is another word for the guy you're dating 1
Versacehottie Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 Great response! Like most women, I'm afraid of coming across as a doormat. Plus its exhausted wanting to be next to someone you can't be next to when you want. Some nights I just want him to come over without there being something in the way, you know. But I like to end things on good notes so I'm not angry or emotional about it. Just gotta find a man who is more available. And who knows, maybe he may become more available one day but until then I'll keep my options open. Thanks. You just basically have to send the message that what you are doing isn't good enough for me right now. I'm sorry we are not on the same page. Leaves the door open if they want to and can step up. Being vulnerable enough to say that without being rigid and uptight displays a lot of confidence. It's not like you are throwing a hissy fit because he can't give you what you want. But you want more. It can be hard not to come across as a doormat. I'm not saying you have been at all but you have made yourself available and he hasn't lived up to his end. So for now (this part is for you to know not him), you are not on the same page. In fact, you should give as little definition as possible. Flip the script. Just like he did. Guys who do these; fail to define so they are less obligated. So you do the same back. He won't know if he's kicked out for good or just until he can do better. He will know that he takes the chance of losing you. Usually guys that get jealous the way he did, have a big ego involved. It took the first hit when he realized you were taking other dates; gonna take the second hit when you tell him bye. Sometimes that's the kick in the butt they need. Don't hold your breath--time will tell. It's always a good learning lesson. Plus you are putting yourself first and that's what really matters!
BluEyeL Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 Thanks. You just basically have to send the message that what you are doing isn't good enough for me right now. I'm sorry we are not on the same page. Leaves the door open if they want to and can step up. Being vulnerable enough to say that without being rigid and uptight displays a lot of confidence. It's not like you are throwing a hissy fit because he can't give you what you want. But you want more. It can be hard not to come across as a doormat. I'm not saying you have been at all but you have made yourself available and he hasn't lived up to his end. So for now (this part is for you to know not him), you are not on the same page. In fact, you should give as little definition as possible. Flip the script. Just like he did. Guys who do these; fail to define so they are less obligated. So you do the same back. He won't know if he's kicked out for good or just until he can do better. He will know that he takes the chance of losing you. Usually guys that get jealous the way he did, have a big ego involved. It took the first hit when he realized you were taking other dates; gonna take the second hit when you tell him bye. Sometimes that's the kick in the butt they need. Don't hold your breath--time will tell. It's always a good learning lesson. Plus you are putting yourself first and that's what really matters! I agree. I actually did exactly this with a man who was seeing me only once every other week because of declared complications in his life. I told him that I totally understand his issues, and if he wants to keep in touch as friends I'm fine with that (although OK if he doesn't), but I want more and if he can do more in the future and he's still interested and I'm still single, he can get in touch with me again. He did keep in touch, started to call me about 1 month after I broke up with him. He called regularly, for months, eventually we went on another date. Then he disappeared for another 2 months and he came back and asked me out again. But when he did that last time, I was already in a serious relationship and told him now it's better not to keep in touch anymore, and parted on good terms. He wasn't a bad person, he just wasn't available for a serious relationship at that time. People have their priorities and they have to align to form something lasting. I'd say tell him that and start dating others. Pull the plug on exclusivity. 1
katiegrl Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 (edited) There comes a point where someone is just too busy. Sure there are times when one is "too busy" to see the person they're dating as often as they would like... But once or twice a month? Are you freakin kidding me? He's not working 28 days/nights out of the month for pete's sake. If he were into her, he'd be breaking down her door the days or nights he wasn't working. What ...... he's "too busy" to take her to lunch once in awhile? A drink or quick bite to eat after work? Give me a break. Men will move mountains when they're really into a woman! The men I have dated all did, and they were SUPER busy also. In fact, my fiancé works two jobs, up at 5:00 am and back home around 7:00, 8:00 or even 9:00 p.m. sometimes. He also travels for work. He's exhausted and stressed! But he still manages to find time to spend quality time with me. We live together so that makes it easier, but OP said she and her guy live in the same town, so how difficult could it be? Something's not jiving here.... for sure. Edited October 14, 2015 by katiegrl
Ami1uwant Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 Sure there are times when one is "too busy" to see the person they're dating as often as they would like... But once or twice a month? Are you freakin kidding me? He's not working 28 days/nights out of the month for pete's sake. If he were into her, he'd be breaking down her door the days or nights he wasn't working. What ...... he's "too busy" to take her to lunch once in awhile? A drink or quick bite to eat after work? Give me a break. Men will move mountains when they're really into a woman! The men I have dated all did, and they were SUPER busy also. In fact, my fiancé works two jobs, up at 5:00 am and back home around 7:00, 8:00 or even 9:00 p.m. sometimes. He also travels for work. He's exhausted and stressed! But he still manages to find time to spend quality time with me. We live together so that makes it easier, but OP said she and her guy live in the same town, so how difficult could it be? Something's not jiving here.... for sure. You have no idea what he does...not a clue. Even If your fiancé is working the LNG hours he is getting your support on things he doesn't have to worry about because you are taking care of it. If he didn't have that support from you , and you were just dating him with that schedule you'd be upset too with not seeing him.
Leigh 87 Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 I think I said in my initial post that I've talked to him about this twice already so he is well aware of the fact that I want more time. He says he isn't seeing anyone else but he could very well be looking for someone else and holding out for any missed opportunities. He's very nice and considerate of people's feelings so I don't think he'll ever tell me that he's keeping me around until something better comes along but for the life of me. I couldn't imagine another woman being that much better than me! LOL. I know that sounds arrogant but I think I have a lot to offer personality/intelligence wise plus I'm easy on the eyes. Last time he brought me around his friends, the guys kept making comments on how beautiful I was and people were staring a lot. But of course those things don't matter. He told me that he loves talking to me because I'm so smart and fun to be around and he said I had the perfect features and an amazing body. So naturally in my mind, I'm like WTF is the problem then!!! Why are we still at this same place months later...I know you're busy but...come on man, do I look like the type of girl who should be wasting her time???... LOL A part of me thinks he's moving slow to find out what's wrong with me. Like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop to find out if Im crazy, or difficult or what ever else people find out after they commit to someone. I went on a date with a guy once and he asked me, "so what is wrong with you because everything seems so perfect." These two wouldn't be the first guys who freaked out about dating me because they thought it was too good to be true. Had men literally tell me this before, even my ex boyfriends. I think some guys realize that Im the type of girl you should want to keep and it freaks them out sometimes...I don't know. Well I don't have as muc to offer as you, I'm a mature aged student who earns little money and I am not very pretty. Yet I've managed to find a guy whos totally head over heels for me and it didn't take him three months to figure out he wanted a relationship with me...... Your good looks and intelligence won't make all men fall for you. 9 times out of ten, when a man is smitten with you, he makes the time for you and he won't put his friends first when he knows he has such limited time. ..........
katiegrl Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 (edited) 9 times out of ten, when a man is smitten with you, he makes the time for you and he won't put his friends first when he knows he has such limited time. .......... Leigh, when a man is smitten (and single and available!) *10 times out of 10* he will "make" time to see you and NOT put his friends first. And it does not matter what he does for a living....when a man is smitten (and single and available) no matter how *busy* he is ....he will make time to be with you. Certainly more than once or twice a month! Especially when you live in the same city!!! Helloooo......... Sorry, but in this case, considering you live in the same town/city, texts and calls don't cut it. Stop making excuses and attempting to justify his behavior. When a man is smitten (and single and available) there is no excuse... and HE would be the first person to agree with that too! Like I said, men move mountains when they're smitten. If they're not smitten, then they dangle you on a string, tossing you just enough crumbs (like calls and texts) to keep you around, giving you hope that someday he will give you more. Just like this guy is doing. Sadly, they rarely, if ever, do and the woman is left heartbroken. This is assuming he is single and available of course. Have you considered the possibility that he's not? Edited October 14, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Leigh 87 Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 Leigh, when a man is smitten (and single and available!) *10 times out of 10* he will "make" time to see you and NOT put his friends first. And it does not matter what he does for a living....when a man is smitten (and single and available) no matter how *busy* he is ....he will make time to be with you. Certainly more than once or twice a month! Especially when you live in the same city!!! Helloooo......... Sorry, but in this case, considering you live in the same town/city, texts and calls don't cut it. Stop making excuses and attempting to justify his behavior. When a man is smitten (and single and available) there is no excuse... and HE would be the first person to agree with that too! Like I said, men move mountains when they're smitten. If they're not smitten, then they dangle you on a string, tossing you just enough crumbs (like calls and texts) to keep you around, giving you hope that someday he will give you more. Just like this guy is doing. Sadly, they rarely, if ever, do and the woman is left heartbroken. This is assuming he is single and available of course. Have you considered the possibility that he's not? My boyfriend lives two hours from me. .. We see each other as often as possible. ... My ex lived four hours away.....but he was smitten and made lots of time for me... There is the 1/10 man who is smitten yet screws it up. I am in Chile atm and my tour guide is perpetually single. Be said he's met the right person but it was the wrong timing..he ultimately picked travel over her. I doubt there is a woman on the planet who would have changed his mind. ..at the time.... Although perhaps such men are emotionally shallow and stunted and can't feel as strongly as you or I, Katie?
katiegrl Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 (edited) My boyfriend lives two hours from me. .. We see each other as often as possible. ... My ex lived four hours away.....but he was smitten and made lots of time for me... There is the 1/10 man who is smitten yet screws it up. I am in Chile atm and my tour guide is perpetually single. Be said he's met the right person but it was the wrong timing..he ultimately picked travel over her. I doubt there is a woman on the planet who would have changed his mind. ..at the time.... Although perhaps such men are emotionally shallow and stunted and can't feel as strongly as you or I, Katie? Leigh, you're in Chile??? How fun, I'm jealous! With respect to your tour guide, if the timing was so bad, then he wasn't **available** for a relationship, right? That is why I put *single and available* in parenthesis in my above post. It is possible, OP's guy is smitten but just not available. Due to work, another relationship, who knows. If that IS the case, he probably has no business pursuing a relationship with her or any woman in the first place. Not at this point in time anyway. He just doesn't have enough to give, enough time/emotion, etc. to give. IMO though, I just get the feeling this guy is hiding something. Just a gut feeling, of course I am speculating..... Have fun in Chile!!!! Edited October 14, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Leigh 87 Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 Leigh, you're in Chile??? How fun, I'm jealous! With respect to your tour guide, if the timing was so bad, then he wasn't **available** for a relationship, right? That is why I put *single and available* in parenthesis in my above post. It is possible, OP's guy is smitten but just not available. Due to work, another relationship, who knows. If that IS the case, he probably has no business pursuing a relationship with her or any woman in the first place. IMO though, I just get the feeling this guy is hiding something. Just a gut feeling, of course I am speculating..... Have fun in Chile!!!! Yep I started in Buenos Aires and am on a tour to Bolivia. You can bet I still "have time " to talk to my boyfriend daily and reassure him.... People have time for people they are smitten with.... 3
Author cinnamonapples86 Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 Only you can tell if he is telling you the truth. Sometimes you can find someone who is stringing you along making you SN option 2 while he dates others. I think that train of thought is why others are thinking he should sacrifice his career for you, I get what you want.... This means you are at a crossroads. You need to find out if there is a light at the end of this tunnel with work travel. Find out what he wants. A female friend of mine shared with me a situation similar to this that you have gone through. Thus person managed his own business and was very hands on with it. He had employees but he felt he had to be there for the big deals. On top of it he also find a side business on the werkends. She went through something similar to you. It was very sporadic in dating, he would be gone for weeks at a time. When he was with her he was all in with her. It took him a year to finally change after her talking to him about what his priorities were in life. Are me and your friend dating the same guy??? LOL. That's the EXACT same story! He is actually running his own business and does a lot of freelance work on the side as well. He's very sporadic and is gone for days or weeks at a time. He keeps in touch almost always but just isn't physically present. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt because he is running a business but at the same time...its hard to know if being busy really means busy...or lack of interest...or that he's only interested in a casual relationship with me. I will more than likely have a conversation with him about what he wants. Thanks!
Author cinnamonapples86 Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 Has he shared with you his past dating history? Has he been married? Are you the first one he has dated in a while thus he doesn't know he is doing something wrong? How far apart do you two live? When he comes back on a trip plan on meeting him at the airport and "kidnap" him We touched on it a little bit. He's 36 and never married, no children but said that he wants both eventually. I'm the first person he's dated in a while, yes. And yes, he knows he's doing something wrong, I already said it twice...which is why I'm looking for the exit sign. LOL, I don't think I need to kidnap him when he returns, he's already been calling me and texting me alot...My assumption is that he will try to see me when he gets back....just don't know if I should keep being so available to him. I think its making him lazy.
Author cinnamonapples86 Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 This man doesn't even see himself as being in a relationship with you. OP, what is making you assume you guys are in a relationship? What?? I don't think I ever said I thought I was in a relationship with him. That's not the point, we are both very clear that this is not a relationship yet. The issue is that time is passing and we are at a point where things should be progressing but things seem stagnant because of his work schedule. And I am trying to figure out if I should be understanding about his job or just drop him and find someone else. I like him and I'd like for things to evolve but I don't know if they will or not.
Recommended Posts