Concerned ex bf might be crossing into "no-man's land"

[xxCourt96xx]

The backstory: I'm 19, he's 20 (we're young ones, lol) we dated when we were much younger teenagers, clearly we were too young to be so serious the way we were...so we ended up breaking up after about 9 months or so, and around a month or two later he found someone new and they've been together for almost 5 years now, they also ended up having a baby about 2 years ago. Him and I have always been close friends after the breakup...very supportive of each other and always there for each other when we needed it. Lately though I feel like things are...off with him. Lately he's been really wanting to see me and hang out, and he told me that it might sound weird coming from him but I'm on his mind a lot and that he misses me. I don't want to cause problems between us OR problems between him and his pretty much wife. I am in no way, shape, or form going to be a homewrecker. But I don't know what to say to him because I don't want to assume things and mess things up because he could just be being friendly.

 

Should I just ignore it and let it go or should I talk to him about it and figure out what's going on? We're meeting up tomorrow, should I bring it up? I don't want to mess up our friendship or their relationship, so I'm just confused on what to do.

[mystikmind2005]

a baby 2 years ago? hmmmmm, well then there is a good chance he has not had sex in 2 years! Watch out!!

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Ask him straight up what's going on. Tell him you sense things & are uncomfortable because you don't know what he wants.

[CarrieT]

I'm 19, he's 20 (we're young ones, lol) we dated when we were much younger teenagers, clearly we were too young to be so serious the way we were...so we ended up breaking up after about 9 months or so, and around a month or two later he found someone new and they've been together for almost 5 years now, they also ended up having a baby about 2 years ago.

Based on this, he has been with her since he was 15 and had the baby when he was 18.

 

That means, when you say you dated as "much younger teenagers," you were actually - what? - 11 or 12?

 

Yes, you are "young ones" and you should just walk away until you are 30 or something.

 

Please.

[xxCourt96xx]

Based on this, he has been with her since he was 15 and had the baby when he was 18.

 

That means, when you say you dated as "much younger teenagers," you were actually - what? - 11 or 12?

 

Yes, you are "young ones" and you should just walk away until you are 30 or something.

 

Please.

 

14 and 15 was when we started dating. But you're right, we were very very young...too young, we're still too young

[CarrieT]

we're still too young

I'm glad you see it.

 

Please ignore him - he's just looking for a quick hook-up because he procreated too early and probably feels his life is over.

[deadelvis]

I'm glad you see it.

 

Please ignore him - he's just looking for a quick hook-up because he procreated too early and probably feels his life is over.

 

Lol. That's a pretty massive assumption.

[craw]

Why would you want to be with someones baby's daddy?

 

Walk away.

[ltjg45]

Lol. That's a pretty massive assumption.

 

It's a fair assumption.

 

He's a father now regardless if he's ready or not and he is trying to get back with the OP now when he got more important things to be concerned about?

 

He is certainly not mature enough at his age otherwise the child wouldn't have been born and, even then, he would be focusing on his child, not trying to hook up with an ex girlfriend.

 

I would also recommend the OP to stay far away from him. Shut down any and all advances he is making towards you.

[oldshirt]

Lol. That's a pretty massive assumption.

 

No, it's an on the money assumption.

 

 

When he dated the OP, it was all fun and games and now looking back all he sees is fond memories and memories of the fun and chemistry they had between them.

 

That is opposed to the rigors and drudgery of changing diapers and cleaning up puke and the 200 spills a day from a toddler tipping over everything.

 

And his fond and care-free memories are also contrasting to his current GF who probably chews his ass and Bitches about everything and hasn't had a kind word to him him in over a couple years.

 

And I believe someone else has already mentioned that he probably hasn't had sex in a couple years, or if he has it has been awful.

 

So no, Carrie was on the money. His life is probably he'll at the moment and his memories of the OP are now filtered through looking at the fun he had with her in younger and happier times rather than the drudgery that he is enduring now.

[d0nnivain]

If you genuinely want to see him tell him you would be happy to meet with him, his child & his baby mamma. If he doesn't want to spend time with you in that group, you know his motives are not good & you need to stay away.