justinje Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Her and I met on a trip to Europe back in May. We texted everyday from when we woke up until we went to bed until last Friday. Toward the end we would talk on the phone 2-3 times a day for at least 1-3 hours each (we lived long distance). We were in love and each flying back and forth every two weeks. But it wasn't easy, and there was a fight after some messed up stuff. She said she needed time to think if she wanted to continue, she asked that I wait until this past Sunday, well I got a text on Friday. Yeah I know a text, but if you knew her I wasn't surprised. She hates talking on the phone when she's emotional. And now the pain........... I flew to Vegas on a whim last weekend, took off Friday and just flew out to meet a buddy. So the weekend was a blur. Now I'm at work, work where for the last 5 months I had someone who loved me texting me about their day and asking about mine. Telling each other funny stories and planning our next trip together. And now there's nothing, no texting. That was my call, I told her I needed that. That being said I thought she might text anyway, I mean we've never gone this long before. But she hasn't. I miss the constant contact, not even necessarily her, and I'll admit that. I miss having someone care about every little thing that happens to you. I miss having those random I Miss You texts. I know the drill, no contact, go back to the gym, hangout with friends, take it day by day. But **** this hurts. THIS HUUUUUUUUURRRTTTSSS. Am I going to last at NC for a long period of time? No, probably not, right now I'm shooting to last minimum until Wednesday, then aim for Friday. Hopefully by Friday I'll be feeling better and make the goal the next Wednesday.......you see where I'm going with this. I have friends and family but they can't take the place of her, not with how much we talked. Why can't she forgive me? Why did I have to cancel all the trips? Why did this happen? Why did I even try this in the first place? Does she miss me as much as I miss her? She said she cried more in the three days leading up to her decision than she has in the three years previous. That she still loved me but couldn't get past what happened (she left herself logged in on FB on my phone, I saw something that made me suspicious and investigated.......I know I know). I know with time I'll be okay, but I also know it's going to suck for awhile. And I don't want it to suck, I'm 27!!! I should be better at this by now!!! I've had this happen like 3 times with girls I've loved. Damn! You know what we should make on here? A support group of people that you can text at any point about random stuff. That way when you have those urges you can text the people in the group instead of annoying your friends and family with your broken hearted bs. That's what we should do, what do you all think? And just so you know, I do love you still, I wish what happened never happened, I wish we could have seen where it went, I wish so many things. I know the text from you will never come, but I want it to so badly. I haven't had a connection like I had with you in a long long time. And I'm scared how long it'll be until the next one. I hope we can find a way to be in each other's lives without pain or weirdness in the future. But now I just want the pain to go away. I want to be okay with just me, with being alone. I want to skip this part and head straight to go. And I want to cry, why is it so tough to cry now, at my age? Even as a guy I have the urge to cry but I just can't for some reason, then randomly when I start to say stuff openly I will. Ugh.
Truth34 Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 I know exactly the feeling of losing that person in your everyday life. My "thing" was long distance as well, so the constant txting and calls were part of the day. And then they went away. Now I wake up to a fully charged phone with no goodmorning txts. So yeah. Im with ya. Certainly hard to deal with this ****, but we have no choice. Keep at it man. I second that txt notion.
Strength in Healing Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 1). You sound like you were in love with being in love 2). That was far too intense and suffocating. 1-3 hours a day across multiple calls? That's not love, that's neediness and infatuation brother. May you take this advice serious and grow to be stronger.
Ryan_XD Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 I know exactly how you feel me and my ex were teenage sweethearts. Together for over 4 years since we were both 15/16. Recently broke up, and it f**king hurts so much. We'd text everyday, see each other most days, have days out, plan our future together and now that's all gone and she's doing that with another man. I notice from your post you have a lot of regret and wish things were different - honestly dude, that's not good for you. You cannot change the past as much as you want too!! Just take everyday as it comes. As for the support group suggestion, that is a great suggestion. However, whenever I get that feeling I just post on here. Why don't you make a journal or a diary on here for everyone to read? You can update it daily to keep everyone up-to-date with your life and emotions.
Recommended Posts