MzLady Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 You already said you don't even know if you want to get back with her, so why bother her? My ex came up to my job after we had broken up and it was horrible. When you're at work, you feel like you're in a safe place because it's WORK, not HOME, where personal things happen. Do NOT go up to her job. If you need to see her that bad, ask her. If she says no, then please try to move past this relationship. I wish you all the best. 1
K2z Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I am thinking of doing this too. My ex has ghosted me for about four months and I think I know where she went to work (restaurant/lounge). The kind of place it would be casual to just appear, not like an office.
MzLady Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 K2z.. Please do not do this.. My ex ghosted me to.. It's been about a month l and I am JUST now starting to move on and heal.. It's actually what brought ne to this site. Anywhow.. From one ghostee to another, please save your dignity and leave it alone. If she wanted to see you, talk to you, anything with you.. She would have. I know how hurtful being ghosted is.. But you will only set yourself back if you try to see her.. Especially this way. I wish you all the best.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I am thinking of doing this too. My ex has ghosted me for about four months and I think I know where she went to work (restaurant/lounge). The kind of place it would be casual to just appear, not like an office. It'd be just as bad of an idea for you as it would be for the OP. Don't be that guy.
OK_computer Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I think that at the end of the day it's all about how you present yourself and how confident you are when/if you go to her work. If you can pass off and 'chill' and nonchalant aura, maybe it won't be awkward. But none the less, an outsider's perspective will always be that this is an 'intrusive' move. We don't know anything about her, you know how she will react better than we do. How did things end with her? Did it seem like you guys would be on talking terms in the future? It's best to text her or call her to see how she is and arrange a meeting. Showing up at her work uninvited could destroy and chances of future prospects.
OK_computer Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I just google searched: "ex shows up at my job", .. I think you should do that also to get an idea of what you might be in store for.
casey.lives Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I think it is not such a good idea, but you should call her then try a fake run in so if you don't know what that is, i'm telling you to run in to her but like it is all fake have a girl on your side and that will make her want you P.S Don't lie every body can tell just expres what you want to say:cool:
ExpatInItaly Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Do not do this. Showing up unannounced and uninvited at her workplace is crossing a boundary. If you know she's been looking you up on Facebook, contact her that way. Don't just turn up at her job. To be honest, I don't fully understand what your intention is. You say you don't want a relationship, but I don't think that even being friends is wise either. You still care enough about her to want to go to her work, which tells me you've still got some type of investment in her. Considering that, trying to build a casual friendship with her likely isn't going to work.
K2z Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 K2z.. From one ghostee to another, please save your dignity and leave it alone. If she wanted to see you, talk to you, anything with you.. She would have. I know how hurtful being ghosted is.. But you will only set yourself back if you try to see her.. Especially this way. I wish you all the best. My logical brain agrees with you. My heart, and the cultural context at play, nag me to seize initiative and do something "bold." But I know it's very likely pain and embarrassment waiting to happen. I still have her number. Can't bring myself to dial it. Not even sure why that is. Anyway sorry to distract from OP's thread.
kentt Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 My logical brain agrees with you. My heart, and the cultural context at play, nag me to seize initiative and do something "bold." But I know it's very likely pain and embarrassment waiting to happen. I still have her number. Can't bring myself to dial it. Not even sure why that is. Anyway sorry to distract from OP's thread. Sincere apologies to OP, didn't mean to digress from the topic, but I can't seem to find any way to private message.. Hi K2z, I'm in a similar situation as you. I'm Singaporean, and my girlfriend is Thai. And she just initiated a break up 4 days ago, after 3 years of LDR. 80% of whom I've confided in asked me to move on, but a few of them suggested I find her in person - one last throw of the dice if you will. 2 close female friends suggest I seek closure by finding her in person. Should I go for it, that bold final move?
Wewon Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 If you have to ask don't do it. It means that there are at least some parts of you that know that this isn't a good idea.
makemineamac Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I don't care about a "relationship". I do care about her as a person. If she would've said something after we broke up like "I never want to see you again" then I wouldn't even be contemplating this. After we split and the last time we saw each other (4 months after the breakup) she came to my house and we had dinner and talked, and genuinely had a nice time. You having an ex show up may be that way, but I've had exes show up at my work after we split and it was a nice visit even when I was the one that called off the relationship and we're actually friends that talk from time to time. So not everything is so cynical after a breakup. I want to believe it's the same way. Also noted I use to work at the same place 5 years ago I have a lot of mutual co-worker friends that keep asking me to come up there, I just know I will see her as well. So if I'm going to go I wanted to see her as well. Start dating available women? I have been. Right now I'm not currently seeing anyone so I figured not to cause any conflict of interest with anyone I was seeing now would be a reasonable time for that to happen. Me dating other woman has made me feel the way I do. I actually like being single to an extent right now. Friends are good til I find the one that works for me. I really think you're denying the real reason you want to see her, and while some might think it's a good idea I can't see it being that. Take a really long, hard look at you true intentions here- just the way you've tried to justify the visit in every response, tells me you want to achieve an effect. You want to make her jealous, you want to make her want you back, you want something out of this. In the end justifying your needs may not be the right thing for her, and it could set you back as well. It seems like you re doing really well, and you deserve a lot of credit for the things you have accomplished since the split, why not just keep going and you may run into her sometime naturally instead of forcing an interaction. Does that make sense?
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