Wewon Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 Keep in mind that an abusive nature is a character flaw, not a one-off. Also, you saw a social media picture, its the ultimate example of people "putting on their best face". Between those to facts, its pretty likely that he is still abusive, even if he hasn't gone down that road with her yet. Its also likely that you're seeing cherry picked pictures that demonstrate how wonderful life is for him. You ever notice that you never see pictures of couples arguing or sitting in their living rooms look bored? 1
Author opalant Posted October 14, 2015 Author Posted October 14, 2015 Before this little set back I actually did feel ready for a new relationship, I’m trying not to let my past affect me, at least now I know the signs so if this happens again I can get out of the relationship straight away. I know that I should cut ties with the family but they haven’t done anything wrong, I told my ex’s sister we couldn’t talk anymore and she cried, she really looks up to me like a sister so I’m going to stay in her life for as long as she needs, she understands what her brother is like and knows not to mention him or his new girlfriend to me. Also his Dad has been very good to me by letting me keep my job throughout the break up and he only sees me and speaks to me when it’s to do with work anyway. I can now finally take a different route to work without having to see my ex so I’m going to do this until I move for university and quit my job. Just remembered it’s my ex’s 19th birthday tomorrow too. I’m not going to wish him a happy birthday, doubt he’ll even be thinking about me to expect it to be honest. It just feels weird this being the first special occasion that I’ll be missing.
stillafool Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 Your obusive ex and I share the same birthday. 1
candie13 Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 you're in the grieving stage, it seems. take your time and grieve. But remember that action is what will make you put all of that in the past. Not hanging out with his sister. Not interacting with his dad. I am sorry, that is not No Contact. I'm not trying to persuade to absolutely change jobs, but I am telling you that you need to put distance between your life while you were seeing your ex and your new life. Now. As a Single Woman. It's very hard to do when you're that close to his family. That's his family, not your own. Are jobs in your field hard to find ? Really, do try to change. And you can keep contact with his lil sister... but maybe not during the next 2-3 weeks, ok? You cannot move on unless you start doing the cleaning, girl... At least start... or there will be one very long year until the uni. Or... start going on some dates. Just start somewhere. Remember that there's life and joy and laughter, outside that dead beat ex of yours. You'll be so sorry to be missing your last year of high school ... think about it 1
Ryan_XD Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 I don’t know how to keep moving forwards, I feel like I’m running backwards in my healing now. I haven’t checked their accounts since I found out, they’re both blocked anyway, but how do I stop this internal battle inside me. It’s so awful because you actually grow up with them, he was my first everything and now it all doesn’t seem as special as it did then. Like we lost our virginities to one another, I haven’t done it with anyone else but I know he will be doing now and it makes me feel sick like it’s not special to him anymore. I wish I hadn’t gotten into such a serious relationship at such a young age. I keep trying to think of the moments when he hit me, how it felt when he drugged me, when I found out he’d cheated on me, not physically but chatting to girls online etc. But my stupid brain keeps thinking about all the holidays we took together, how happy and close we were, how nice he was to me and I don’t know how to make it stop. I managed to stop putting him on a pedestal but since seeing the photo of him and his new gf I feel like I did at the start of the break up. -.- I know he won’t think of me or our memories anymore because he has someone to distract him, he used to message now and again saying sorry for hitting me but now he won’t feel guilty anymore because he just won’t care. I don’t want him back, but I wish I could have the old him back. I feel like someone’s gotten what I’ve always wanted without evening trying when I tried so hard to fix our relationship, he’ll be doing everything I wanted for someone else. I feel like nothing, I feel like it’s all my fault because I let him do what he did to me. That's all normal and trust me things will get better with time. Me and my ex grew up together, shared special birthdays together, was our first everything just like you and your ex. But times change, people change and you need to do the same. Time is a great healer - and it won't be today, and perhaps not next month, but sometime soon you'll begin to feel better. Slowly and gradually you will begin to accept things more and want to move forward with your life. Life is precious and is far too short to be hurting over someone that doesn't have feelings for you anymore, trust me. x 1
Author opalant Posted October 14, 2015 Author Posted October 14, 2015 I work in graphic design so jobs and opportunities like this are extremely hard to come by, if it was any other normal job I would have quit straight away. My life’s been pretty good since the break up though, I’ve been focused on my college work, been talking to guys, spending lots of time with my friends and they’ve all noticed that I’ve changed into my usual happy self, it’s just seeing my ex that sets me back, really wish I hadn’t looked and seen that picture but at the same time I’m glad because now it’s happened I’m not worried about the day I find out he’s with someone anymore.
Author opalant Posted October 14, 2015 Author Posted October 14, 2015 My birthday is the 20th of February, he'll have forgotten it by then lol.
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