Dorsia Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 (edited) Hi all, Would just like to get your opinions on my current situation. Recently got back with my Ex Girlfriend (apart for about 8 months - we were together for 4 years). In the past couple of months she's been kinda seeing this guy in work (she states it was purely kissing in the bar after work- even if there was more I'm not bothered as we were not together). Anyways, she maintained to him from the outset that she wasn't interested in a relationship and what they had was just a bit of fun. A month ago she pulled the plug on it and she said he was ok about it. Shortly afterwards the 2 of us decided to give it another go. Long story short, now he's got wind of her being back with me, he's butt-hurt, texting her saying she said she didn't want a relationship but now she's back with me, and how she's not a very nice person, how she's cold hearted and that everyone in work is now talking about her. Now I'm not sure what to do about it. Do I make contact with him and tell him to back the hell up or do I let it slide? Obviously if they're going to be working together and he's doing and saying all this, it cant be allowed to continue? Any advice appreciated Edited October 12, 2015 by Dorsia
Starks Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Words are wind. Let him bitch and moan while you enjoy your GF. Most adult People see right through his bitching anyway and he's only making a fool of himself
ExpatInItaly Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Your girlfriend needs to be the one to tell him to stop. Has she not done so? She would be wise to block him too. I realize they work together but that does not give the right to bombard her with messages. If he takes it to the workplace, she needs to speak with a supervisor/manager.
Author Dorsia Posted October 12, 2015 Author Posted October 12, 2015 Your girlfriend needs to be the one to tell him to stop. Has she not done so? She would be wise to block him too. I realize they work together but that does not give the right to bombard her with messages. If he takes it to the workplace, she needs to speak with a supervisor/manager. She's rather timid and not at all confrontational - she was hoping the problem would just go away. I'm the opposite though and there's nothing I'd like more than to confront him
health Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Could you not find another girl? These are kinda the natural consequences of her behaviour. She's with you. You break up. She deals with someone at work - which is risky in itself. Then she leaves him and gets back with you. Of course he'd be angry, freaked out and all of that. There she is just doing what she wants though - and you took her back. She should tell him to stop. You need to think about if you want someone like her in the long run. It's all on you though. I know I couldn't stand to be with someone who also sees their ex at work everyday.
Author Dorsia Posted October 12, 2015 Author Posted October 12, 2015 Could you not find another girl? These are kinda the natural consequences of her behaviour. She's with you. You break up. She deals with someone at work - which is risky in itself. Then she leaves him and gets back with you. Of course he'd be angry, freaked out and all of that. There she is just doing what she wants though - and you took her back. She should tell him to stop. You need to think about if you want someone like her in the long run. It's all on you though. I know I couldn't stand to be with someone who also sees their ex at work everyday. That's the thing though, they weren't actually an item?
ExpatInItaly Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 She's rather timid and not at all confrontational - she was hoping the problem would just go away. I'm the opposite though and there's nothing I'd like more than to confront him Don't. You will more than likely make the situation much worse for her. If they work together, his anger will targeted at her and could have negative consequences. In this scenario, she needs to grow a backbone and tell him to stop contacting her. If she has a problem doing so, you need to be concerned that she isn't enforcing appropriate relationship boundaries. 2
health Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 It's on you. If they were kissing - that's something. Again, like you said though - since you were not with her it doesn't matter. Still it's on her to set boundaries, especially if she's going to see him around at work. If worse comes to worse - have her call the police. If you get involved you could catch a charge, and women are not worth catching criminal charges over! haha 1
Author Dorsia Posted October 12, 2015 Author Posted October 12, 2015 It's on you. If they were kissing - that's something. Again, like you said though - since you were not with her it doesn't matter. Still it's on her to set boundaries, especially if she's going to see him around at work. If worse comes to worse - have her call the police. If you get involved you could catch a charge, and women are not worth catching criminal charges over! haha I lol'd at this Cheers for the advice though
dangerbang Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Mr Robot or whatever you go by on here and boards.ie. You have a lot of issues with this girl would you not be better off letting it go? No chance this will last. Mark my words!
d0nnivain Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Because he is her work colleague, you have to stay away. She's a big girl & need to fight her own battles. You said it yourself. He's hurt. What he's saying about her is only the verbalization of his pain. Her work colleagues are not talking about her. If she's professional & polite to him at work this will all blow over. If she "confront" him or worse, if you get involved, it bill all blow up & become a "thing." Let him vent himself out & he should just go away quietly. If he threatens her go to the police. 2
Author Dorsia Posted October 12, 2015 Author Posted October 12, 2015 Because he is her work colleague, you have to stay away. She's a big girl & need to fight her own battles. You said it yourself. He's hurt. What he's saying about her is only the verbalization of his pain. Her work colleagues are not talking about her. If she's professional & polite to him at work this will all blow over. If she "confront" him or worse, if you get involved, it bill all blow up & become a "thing." Let him vent himself out & he should just go away quietly. If he threatens her go to the police. Thanks for that
Redhead14 Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Hi all, Would just like to get your opinions on my current situation. Recently got back with my Ex Girlfriend (apart for about 8 months - we were together for 4 years). In the past couple of months she's been kinda seeing this guy in work (she states it was purely kissing in the bar after work- even if there was more I'm not bothered as we were not together). Anyways, she maintained to him from the outset that she wasn't interested in a relationship and what they had was just a bit of fun. A month ago she pulled the plug on it and she said he was ok about it. Shortly afterwards the 2 of us decided to give it another go. Long story short, now he's got wind of her being back with me, he's butt-hurt, texting her saying she said she didn't want a relationship but now she's back with me, and how she's not a very nice person, how she's cold hearted and that everyone in work is now talking about her. Now I'm not sure what to do about it. Do I make contact with him and tell him to back the hell up or do I let it slide? Obviously if they're going to be working together and he's doing and saying all this, it cant be allowed to continue? Any advice appreciated Let her deal with it. She should ignore him and other people at work say. And, "this too shall pass". In other words, he'll get over it and people at work will stop thinking about it after some time and something else comes up that takes their attention away from this situation. She was only seeing him a couple of months and she was clear with him and they were not intimate apparently. So, it's his problem. 1
LoveIsMyReligion Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Normally I would tell the guy to piss off but after several years in the dating business I would probably offer to buy the guy a beer and have a chat; otherwise let her cleanup her own mess. Nothing against your girlfriend but she most likely toyed with the guy and I do sympathize. 1
Hope87 Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Hi all, Would just like to get your opinions on my current situation. Recently got back with my Ex Girlfriend (apart for about 8 months - we were together for 4 years). In the past couple of months she's been kinda seeing this guy in work (she states it was purely kissing in the bar after work- even if there was more I'm not bothered as we were not together). Anyways, she maintained to him from the outset that she wasn't interested in a relationship and what they had was just a bit of fun. A month ago she pulled the plug on it and she said he was ok about it. Shortly afterwards the 2 of us decided to give it another go. Long story short, now he's got wind of her being back with me, he's butt-hurt, texting her saying she said she didn't want a relationship but now she's back with me, and how she's not a very nice person, how she's cold hearted and that everyone in work is now talking about her. Now I'm not sure what to do about it. Do I make contact with him and tell him to back the hell up or do I let it slide? Obviously if they're going to be working together and he's doing and saying all this, it cant be allowed to continue? Any advice appreciated Why did you two break up initially? I don't think you should fight her battles for her. Let her face up to him and deal with the issue. I feel a bit sympathetic for the guy ( even though they werent officially an item), like another poster said, she probably toyed with him a little bit. But that's that. She was the one in the affair or fling, so she should deal with it. Can't she have a discussion with him to clear it up? He simply sounds hurt, don't think it requires any police intervention.
Author Dorsia Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 Why did you two break up initially? I don't think you should fight her battles for her. Let her face up to him and deal with the issue. I feel a bit sympathetic for the guy ( even though they werent officially an item), like another poster said, she probably toyed with him a little bit. But that's that. She was the one in the affair or fling, so she should deal with it. Can't she have a discussion with him to clear it up? He simply sounds hurt, don't think it requires any police intervention. Accumulation of things- it was mutual but I was mostly being a dick, so at the time it needed to end. Things are good now though we think - seeing a relationship therapist and trying to work through things
Clarence_Boddicker Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 Let her handle it. If he's not sending her anything inappropriate, I wouldn't worry too much. She should be semi ignoring him & he'll probably stop bothering her soon enough. She did bring a bit of it on herself. I'd tell her that I don't want to hear about it & suggest that she ignores him. 1
Author Dorsia Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 Let her handle it. If he's not sending her anything inappropriate, I wouldn't worry too much. She should be semi ignoring him & he'll probably stop bothering her soon enough. She did bring a bit of it on herself. I'd tell her that I don't want to hear about it & suggest that she ignores him. Yeah, she's cut contact with him, he hasn't text in a couple of days so gonna play it by ear and see what happens
Ryan_XD Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 Let him bitch and moan. Don't let it ruin your second chance together, just laugh it off. Lifes to short.
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