Calypso Girl Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 (edited) Hello all. Am new here and would appreciate your views/opinions on this. I dated a guy exclusively for 6/7 months 3 years ago. Both of us were early twenties. He was very keen (so was I as it happened) from the onset and we saw each other about three times a week. In the end he finished it all of a sudden for what appeared to be 'cold feet' at the time. I've a feeling something 'scared' him, though not sure what. Friends, both mutual and otherwise were all a bit surprised by his actions. I just accepted it and though a bit baffled and hurt, accepted his decision and movedon. A a fairly nice guy overall. Two years later I bumped into him (I'd seen him with a new girlfriend a few weeks before though he hadn't seen me but this time he was alone) where we briefly chatted, though he seemed very surprised when he learned I moved very soon after we split (new job) to the area where we had now met. During the conversation (I was very calm and cool) I even mentioned I was now working with his cousin -he'd mentioned her during our relationship since we both do the same job-I ended the convo and off I went since I felt sure hewas waiting for girlfriend and didn't want things to be awkward!! Shortly after this, I even met one his friends when out for the night (who remembered me by name!) who informed me -when filling me in with news of the group since we split - he (ex) was now seeing the same girl again, although they had broken up for a while. He also told me, although he (ex) didn't say much, when we split up, it was clear it bothered him a bit. I remember saying something like, although I was sorry things didn't work out between us, I was glad he was happy now with someone else and to let him know this. Fast forward to last week when the (same) cousin attended his brother's wedding. She told one of our other colleagues (we're fairly friendly) that when she mentioned she knew me, he (allegedly) said he didn't remember me!! I have to say I find this incredible so why on earth would he say this given I bumped into him practically a year before?? Or is it possible he actually has forgotten me? I remember all my exes! I was a bit offended, to be honest. All thoughts/experiences welcome! Edited October 12, 2015 by Calypso Girl
mightycpa Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 I remember all my exes! Everybody does. I even remember one-night stands... some with names and everything! I was a bit offended, to be honest. All thoughts/experiences welcome!I guess he got the reaction he was looking for. Too bad he wasn't there to enjoy it. Just imagine what kind of person he'd have to be in order to actually forget you. I'm not talking about whether he's nice or not, or good or evil. But think about that...what kind of person would actually forget someone they dated exclusively? Now, back to good and evil, what kind of person would tell someone they don't remember that same person when they actually do? Either way, this person deserves your pity, not your offense. 1
thejabberwocky Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Of course he remembered you. He was trying to play it cool. Don't fall for it for even a second. 3
Author Calypso Girl Posted October 12, 2015 Author Posted October 12, 2015 (edited) I guess he got the reaction he was looking for. Too bad he wasn't there to enjoy it. Thanks everyone for confirming what I already believed ie remembering me. However, what I cannot fathom is why he wanted a reaction in the first place, since he finished with me. He must have known cousin would relay this information to me as well. As it happens, the cousin is real b***ch (not sure how well he knows her but suspect not very well) who took great pleasure in telling my colleague this. Thankfully she only knew I had a relationship with him and not any of the details! Edited October 12, 2015 by Calypso Girl
Author Calypso Girl Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 Any other thoughts, perspectives please?
Clarence_Boddicker Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 Multiple personalities? I don't remember most of the names of the girls I had crushes on in school, but I remember their faces & could pick them out of the yearbooks.
Author Calypso Girl Posted October 14, 2015 Author Posted October 14, 2015 Multiple personalities?. Hmm...not really. He's actually quite a steady, serious type with a very good job. I've little doubt what he did was deliberate. Unless he thought I was harbouring some desire to reconcile? A friend thinks he may/have been still deep down be interested (at least in the initial stages) but due to my moving house so quickly after break-up (so I'll never know) and changing my mobile no, he had no means of contacting me. Meeting me again in an area nearer to his neck of the woods came as a total surprise to him, I must admit!!
Wewon Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 I have a slightly different take on this, one that doesn't paint him as a manipulative sociopath. Keep in mind how you got this information: The ex --> cousin --> friend --> you Could there have been something lost in translation? Could someone else in the chain have had malicious intent? Its not unusual for poor story telling skills, truncation, glossing over details etc. can convert "I forgot about the time that Calypso Girl did..." into "He doesn't remember Calypso Girl". You might also want to consider why anyone would be eager to share this information with you instead of downplaying it to spare feelings. 1
Author Calypso Girl Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 I have a slightly different take on this, one that doesn't paint him as a manipulative sociopath. Keep in mind how you got this information: The ex --> cousin --> friend --> you Could there have been something lost in translation? Could someone else in the chain have had malicious intent? Its not unusual for poor story telling skills, truncation, glossing over details etc. can convert "I forgot about the time that Calypso Girl did..." into "He doesn't remember Calypso Girl". You might also want to consider why anyone would be eager to share this information with you instead of downplaying it to spare feelings. Very valid points Wewon (thanks) and certainly an interpretation we've seriously considered given it was a wedding where alcohol was most likely in abundance and of course the personality of the cousin, who incidentally only told me she'd met him. I don't really blame the friend who passed it on to me...she wasn't being malicious at all, merely demonstrating how nasty the other colleague was, who to all intents and purposes delighted in passing this on. She quite likes putting others down though personally I doubt she'd go as far as making it up. However, a few things niggle me about this entire situation. Another aspect being how his friend I bumped into on the night out (I really hadn't expected him to say anything at all about the break-up and was even more surprised by what he divulged) appeared to want to make a point of telling me how it had upset his friend. Odd.
Saracena Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Actually, (assuming what ex said is true) I've got yet another slant on why he may well have said this. Weddings can be emotional occasions when we are reminded of and begin thinking about former (failed) relationships/lovers. It's perfectly possible the cousin caught him off the hop, for this reason. Were the brother and his new bride together as a couple when you and he were dating? Perhaps you hung around together?
Wewon Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 She quite likes putting others down though personally I doubt she'd go as far as making it up. As I see it, now it comes down to what is most plausible, him telling such a transparent lie, "Calypso Girl? Who's Calypso Girl?" or A break-down in communication Or A person, whom you know to have a mean-streak, saying something to cause a stir?
Toodaloo Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Actually, (assuming what ex said is true) I've got yet another slant on why he may well have said this. Weddings can be emotional occasions when we are reminded of and begin thinking about former (failed) relationships/lovers. It's perfectly possible the cousin caught him off the hop, for this reason. Were the brother and his new bride together as a couple when you and he were dating? Perhaps you hung around together? Or if he is there with a new beau the last thing he is going to want to discuss is an ex... Seriously don't worry about it. Just let it go over your head and worry about today instead.
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