How do I confront wife about shocking sexual past?

[deadelvis]

threesome = 3 people having sex. pretty common in 2015

 

gangbang = a large group of guys all having sex with one woman at the same time. not a very common occurrence outside of certain porn films

[Dolfin80]

 

Should I start a thread titled "Is it perfectly normal to do gangbangs?" and see what the consensus is?

 

Nothing personal, but I don't think Jen and Carrie represent an unbiased and "typical" viewpoint on these things.

 

Of all the freaky people I know, only one girl has openly admitted to doing gangbangs... and she's mentally disturbed.

 

You don't have to be wild to have a gangbang. Jen and Carrie are quite normal.

 

I'm probably the most unsexual women on the planet. I've have sex only twice in 5 years. Just went three years without having any sex. Guess what once tried a threesome!!!!!! I don't date men at all because I know I only want sex once every few years lol.

 

So having a gangbang does not mean anything really.

 

So I'm asexual and even I have tried a 'gangbang' because one night I ended up with 2 USA sailers lol

[deadelvis]

You don't have to be wild to have a gangbang. Jen and Carrie are quite normal.

 

I'm probably the most unsexual women on the planet. I've have sex only twice in 5 years. Just went three years without having any sex. Guess what once tried a threesome!!!!!! I don't date men at all because I know I only want sex once every few years lol.

 

So having a gangbang does not mean anything really.

 

Ahhh... but now we're ascribing meaning to things again. It might not mean anything to you.

[CarrieT]

gangbang = a large group of guys all having sex with one woman at the same time. not a very common occurrence outside of certain porn films

Says who?

 

I first heard about such things from my Aunt Lola. She had done it several times in the 1950s.

 

How experienced are you "outside of certain porn films," anyway? You aren't in the private homes of John Q. Public to know what is common and what isn't.

[deadelvis]

Says who?

 

I first heard about such things from my Aunt Lola. She had done it several times in the 1950s.

 

How experienced are you "outside of certain porn films," anyway? You aren't in the private homes of John Q. Public to know what is common and what isn't.

 

I'll start a thread in the sex forum and we'll see how "normal" it is to do gangbangs...

[sandylee1]

threesome = 3 people having sex. pretty common in 2015

 

gangbang = a large group of guys all having sex with one woman at the same time. not a very common occurrence outside of certain porn films

 

It depends on how you view 'common'. In my world a threesome isn't 'common'.

 

It's not something I would do, but each to their own.

[CarrieT]

I'll start a thread in the sex forum and we'll see how "normal" it is to do gangbangs...

 

But you are working on the assumption that posters in this forum are "normal" or make-up a common contingency of a cross-section of society.

 

No way to determine this by a mere poll....

[deadelvis]

But you are working on the assumption that posters in this forum are "normal" or make-up a common contingency of a cross-section of society.

 

No way to determine this by a mere poll....

 

Well this forum is the closest thing to a cross-section of society as we're going to find.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/sexual-reproductive-health-practices/552781-gangbangs#post6592547

[autumnnight]

Sex acts aside (and yes, I would be floored by some of them myself - virgin at marriage that I was)....she lied directly. He asked her about seeral things and she knowingly lied.

 

AND she has photos. This isn't a retelling in an old journal. I am not sure how old this woman is, but I do hope those are the only copies of those photos.

 

I am not trying to vilify her. I have made bad choices in my life in more than one area, and I don't think sexual bad choices are the only bad choices that count. For example, if I found a spouse's stash of drug dealing notes or cooked books from when he embezzled 100,000 dollars that would be pretty big too.

 

The thing that would hurt would be the lying and having accurate mental pictures to be tormented with.

 

I may have missed this: How many years ago was this, and how long has the OP been married, and how would he honestly describe the marriage up until now? The last question is likely...rewritten a bit by now, but still...

[jen1447]

Well this forum is the closest thing to a cross-section of society as we're going to find.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/sexual-reproductive-health-practices/552781-gangbangs#post6592547

 

But in what way would commonality determine legitimacy in this context? I could make a compelling argument that toe-sucking isn't terribly common but would that make it 'wrong' or somehow subject to my personal value judgments?

[twosadthings]

SEB,

 

This is page six and you have only posted once. I don't know if you will return to post or if you just are reading responses. I make it a practice to only direct my thoughts and comments to the original poster and not get into what has filled the previous five pages.

 

Your wife and you for that matter had a responsibility to the person with whom a life was to be shared to prepare them in the eventuality that in the future something undeniably upsetting would come to light. Particularly if the evidence of that upsetting behavior was documented by video or photographically. This would also extend to the possibility of having that behavior disclosed through meeting a former lover or companion or having to be vetted for a position.

 

If you have made a life together that the both of you want to continue, then you should have the right to have any questions you may have be answered or feelings you may feel be expressed.

 

Once again, good luck,

 

Twosadthings

[Robert]

Thread starter, if you would like this opened back up then alert on my post and we will do so

 

Thanks all.