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My boyfriend won't compromise...


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Posted

Oh man, I never saw myself looking for advice online but this is my last ditch effort. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now and I've been living with him for about 5 months. We didn't start having troubles until after I moved in. The problem is that when I ask him to go over to my families for dinners or special occasions he acts like I'm asking for the world. He makes up excuses about not feeling well or working too hard so he's sore (he's a roofer so he doesn't work very much) and then after I go alone I come home and his friends are over! Also whenever his family is having a gathering he tells me when we're going, he never approaches it like I have an option like I do with him. I'm not saying that I wouldn't go I would just like him to consider whether or not I've already made plans.. He and I have gotten into many agruements over my friends. He doesn't like them. And I respect his opinion. However it's hurtful that he doesn't even try to get to know them by coming out for dinner to socialize every now and then. I don't want to ask too much of him but I feel like he doesn't want to be apart of the lives of the people I love the most in this world and I don't know what to do..

Posted

Sorry but these are good reason why you shouldn't be together. A relationship is a partnership, and you become a part of each others lives and your family's/friend's lives. You are who your friends and your family are....he doesn't like them or be around them, so that means there is very little he likes about you. You are just a roommate that gives him sex....that's it...someone to share the rent with. So sad but true.

 

he is who he is, and you can't fix a bad BF, you leave a bad BF.

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Posted

A few concerns here.

 

Why did you move in together so quickly? At 2 months, you'd barely had enough to know each other as a couple and you made a huge step. You said he doesn't work much, so where does he get money to support himself and contribute your household expenses?

 

Why doesn't he like your friends? You say you respect his opinion but if he doesn't really even know them, what is he basing this opinion on?

 

How often do you have a family dinner? I could understand if you have family dinners a lot and he doesn't always feel like going. However, I'm guessing that's not the case. He sounds like he just doesn't want to do family time but expects you to jump to it when he says it's a family-dinner night. Relationships can't work that way.

 

The bottom line is that if he already is showing this many red flags and your relationship is only 7 months old, you might want to re-consider this completely. It doesn't look good.

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