centaur of attention Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 She’s been a friend for years but after her breakup last winter we have grown a lot closer. Immediately after the breakup (she was cheated on then she dumped the guy) she was showing super strong signs of interest in me (constant texting, her touching me a ton, compliments, etc). Then over the summer we couldn’t see much of each other because of travels for work and school, we stayed in touch with texting but only on a weekly basis (much less than before). This fall we have been able to see more of each other more and I want some outside insight on things to confirm my impression. Here are the facts: -She’s texting a lot less, no just chatting texts and she sometimes forgets to text back (but from knowing her for years, thats just her texting style) -When we do set something up, she is always enthusiastic and excited -She is super busy - between school and work she’s occupied 60-70 hours a week. -She has spent hours a day with me on all of her days off for the past 3 weeks -When we hang out, it always seems like we are trying to prolong it (we’ll finish dinner then just sit and chat for another hour, then go to a bar… etc) -Our hang outs are mostly date things - meals together, bars and just the two of us. She has invited me to a few events with her friends but when given the opportunity she tries to do something with just the two of us -She occasionally mentions other guys but always qualifies it with, 'I’d never happen', or 'I don’t really like him that much' or something similar -lots of physical contact: hugs at arrival and parting, arm to arm contact across the console in the car (seems accidental but happens almost every time), sitting side by side with leg and arm touching when we are on a bench, complimenting each other, sometimes accompanied by an arm around her, I have brushed a strand of hair off her face. Accept for the cases where it is accidental, I initiate but she never draws away/is always receptive. -Strong eye contact, more then I have with other friends (male or female) -She plays with her hair whenever we are alone together, so much so that she has actually caught herself and mentioned that she is shedding -I lightly tease her a lot, she laughs at my jokes, that sort of thing -Usually I plan things but she has sent what seemed like a feeler text to see if I was available/maybe searching for me to invite her to do something. I had a crush on her years ago but she was in a relationship at the time so it sort of faded but it has come back now and I want to act on it. First, am I interpreting the signals right? Is she interested? Secondly, what should I do to move this forward? Ask her to talk? Just straight up ask her out? It would be complicated because we both have busy schedules/can be gone for longish periods of time (it would sort of have some elements of a long distance relationship) and I want to give it a chance to work out but how do I communicate that to her?
lchf Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I don't think anyone would deny there are some good signals that she's into you. Have you kissed her yet? That's a pretty good way of letting her know how you feel lol
Author centaur of attention Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 I haven't kissed her, (or held hands for some reason). Would that be the best way? Better then bringing it up in a chat or asking her out first?
lchf Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Honestly bro it sounds like you're already doing all of the 'going out' already. It's like you two are together but you aren't. Your going to dinner, doing stuff together, but haven't made a move. It's hard to say exactly how you should progress, but usually I find the best way to go is don't overthink these types of things. Attraction should happen naturally and flow freely. You know her better than us so it's up to you to set the right dynamic. You have a crush on her so make a move and own it for the sake of your own sanity. If it works out great. The last thing you want is to be friendzoned, which could've already happened...I don't know. Keep it updated.
Buddhist Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Go for a kiss, as the others said you're already 'dating' anyway. Take the next logical step.
Author centaur of attention Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 thanks everyone. What would be signs that I'm in the friend zone vs her feeling attracted to me?
lchf Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 thanks everyone. What would be signs that I'm in the friend zone vs her feeling attracted to me? I wouldn't even bother trying to work this one out. You like her, you want to take the next step. Assess the situation at the time and make a move and don't overthink it. If you don't make a move you'll sit there wondering. Rather find out yea?
Author centaur of attention Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 Your right I really want to stop wondering. More than anything I want to be able to talk to her and be honest about how we both feel. Like I said it's sort of a complicated situation with our schedules but I feel want to try it but we will need to be very open and honest with each other
seekingluck Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Hold her hand and see what happens. I had a friend situation like this for a while too. I missed the signals and nothing happened. Turned into a multi-year off and on crush.
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