Hopeful30 Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I am in the infantile stage of emotional intimacy. That is to say, I've had an abusive childhood and have a deep rooted fear of intimacy (and falling in love). I really like this guy, and as laidback and cool as I am, I'm starting to feel little pangs of fear that "Oh, maybe he will turn his eye to another lady" or "What if someone snatches him before I do?" The worst is the creeping jealousy. He's not even mine! What's going on? It's very bizarre. I've never been through this before and I'm not quite sure what it is. I suppose I'm just seeking advice on how to calm the f*ck down and just go with it. Thank u <3
menyou Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I am in the infantile stage of emotional intimacy. That is to say, I've had an abusive childhood and have a deep rooted fear of intimacy (and falling in love). I really like this guy, and as laidback and cool as I am, I'm starting to feel little pangs of fear that "Oh, maybe he will turn his eye to another lady" or "What if someone snatches him before I do?" The worst is the creeping jealousy. He's not even mine! What's going on? It's very bizarre. I've never been through this before and I'm not quite sure what it is. I suppose I'm just seeking advice on how to calm the f*ck down and just go with it. Thank u <3 Is there another thread about this guy? Does he even know you are interested?
Author Hopeful30 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 (edited) Is there another thread about this guy? Does he even know you are interested? Nop. First thread. Do you think if a man knows for certain it changes things? Edited October 11, 2015 by Hopeful30
Disconnect Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 (edited) RE the original post - starting to develop feelings for someone makes us vulnerable, since there is always a chance they can hurt or leave us. Being in a relationships can also prod / poke at any emotional issues we may have, also because of this vulnerability. The twinges of jealousy you describe are normal feelings - for everyone. However, you said he is not yours yet, so for now put the brakes on a little and protect yourself. You know rationally there is no need to completely freak out so all your energy is much better spent on cultivating / enjoying the friendship. Hope it works out for you. x Edited October 11, 2015 by Disconnect Typo 1
Author Hopeful30 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 ^ Thank you for this I agree completely. My feelings for this guy are bringing about deeper rooted issues I have, that haven't surfaced before perhaps because I've never felt this particular way about anyone before. I'm surprised myself I feel this way, because I'm known for being the "coolest" girlfriend because I am NOT all the things I am feeling right now ha! 1
menyou Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Nop. First thread. Do you think if a man knows for certain it changes things? Well, yes, of course it "changes" things. If He knows you are interested a)he lets you know he is interested as well Or B) he lets you know he is not interested Then you can decide what your next step is.
Author Hopeful30 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 Well, yes, of course it "changes" things. If He knows you are interested a)he lets you know he is interested as well Or B) he lets you know he is not interested Then you can decide what your next step is. Yeah but what if I already know that answer? How will HIS knowing of MY interest change things?
seekingluck Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 Yeah but what if I already know that answer? How will HIS knowing of MY interest change things? Are the feelings mutual?
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