PureAppleJuice Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Hi all. I was with my partner for six months, and yesterday I made the decision to break up with her. We had quite a toxic relationship. We were always arguing, etc. I broke up with her because I couldn't cope with my studies and the demands coming from her. This is my other thread, with more info on what's happened : https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/551061-relationship-vs-studies It's the day after we've broken up and I feel a bit lost. Last night she offered to come over but it was 11pm. I said that I was too tired and that it was a bit late, and she just blew up at me, accusing me of making no effort. That this was the last time she was going to do anything for me. I'm starting to feel a bit of regret, because I don't have anyone else and she was there for me. Although I know and my friends know that she was controlling, and was starting to drive me away from my friends and family. I want to text her, but I know that she will be quite rude toward me (we were texting after the break up, otherwise I wouldn't want to text) I just feel such a mess.
Author PureAppleJuice Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 I feel so lonely, and really sad. I want to contact her, but there is no point. She will either be quite rude toward me or we'll get back together and things will be exactly the same.
Xidion Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 If she was pushing you away to the point that it made you feel like you should break up with her, then you made the right decision. If you took her back, it would eventually come to that again. Her controlling ways probably made you feel as if you were losing yourself and your freedom. That wouldn't change. You're dealing with feelings of lonliness. Be confident in the fact that you made the right decision.
Author PureAppleJuice Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 If she was pushing you away to the point that it made you feel like you should break up with her, then you made the right decision. If you took her back, it would eventually come to that again. Her controlling ways probably made you feel as if you were losing yourself and your freedom. That wouldn't change. You're dealing with feelings of loneliness. Be confident in the fact that you made the right decision. These things are stopping me from contacting her, tbh. I would love to, but I know that she won't change.
Blanco Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 She will not change, especially if you come crawling back. I left a toxic relationship and it was much harder than leaving a "normal" one. I second-guessed myself endlessly, even though empirically I knew I had definitely made the right decision. Going back to your ex because you "have no one" is faulty logic. You have friends. Lean on them during this time; re-establish your connection with them and your family, as you make it sound like this girl was actually counterproductive to you maintaining those relationships. If you felt like the relationship was toxic after just six months, then it was never going to get better. To feel that way during what's typically the honeymoon phase indicates that this relationship was not a good fit and was only going to degenerate more as time went on.
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