OK_computer Posted October 14, 2015 Posted October 14, 2015 Go early. Do NOT drink. Leave early, preferably before she gets there. If she arrives while you are there, at most she gets a type lipped, fake smile a head nod & a hello. The advice you got above to say "yep" if she says hello 1st works too. Immediately after those one syllable greetings, you announce you have to go get another drink. I don't care if your glass is full. You walk away. You leave soon thereafter. You can't drink at this because you won't have the self control to stay away & keep your mouth shut. You don't want to ruin your friends birthday by making a scene. I had this same situation a few months ago with a long time female friend who I had had a friendship ending fight with. I didn't know she'd be at the party until the day before. I went & studiously avoided her. If she was in a room, I walked out. If she walked toward me, I made a 90 degree turn & walked away. Many people notice my not so subtle attempts to avoid her. It sent the perfect message. But I was stone cold sober. "Yep." Nailed it.
thunder777 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 nah dont tell friends true reason friends claim to keep things in the vault. but the second the topic of you comes along people blab and cant help but reveal truths just so they can add their part to conversations, especially when drunk stay candid mate, dont trust people with details of your heart, it will end up going around and everyone will know about it also your recovery is about finding someone new, not going 2 years still sulking about your ex, get someone new go on dates, thats what being a leader to yourself means... move on... and the only real way to do do is to go on dates with new people
Author louxor Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 nah dont tell friends true reason friends claim to keep things in the vault. but the second the topic of you comes along people blab and cant help but reveal truths just so they can add their part to conversations, especially when drunk stay candid mate, dont trust people with details of your heart, it will end up going around and everyone will know about it also your recovery is about finding someone new, not going 2 years still sulking about your ex, get someone new go on dates, thats what being a leader to yourself means... move on... and the only real way to do do is to go on dates with new people I'm not worried about my recovery in the sense that I'm worried that I'm going to be hung up on her for years - I have plenty of hobbies, plenty of friends and a couple of dates lined up to keep me busy - I know I will get past it. This situation only worries me because I don't want to back-track my progress by seeing her when I'm not ready, but at the same time I don't want to bail on a close friend for such an important event, if that makes sense. But yeh, I do agree with what you say about keeping the real reason to myself if I decide not to go, so thanks for you opinion/suggestion on that.
Recommended Posts