He left me, two months later and he likes someone else.

[Hopelessdreams]

Hey, this will be quite long but please, I hope you can read this. I'm so devastated. So me and my boyfriend of 2 and a half years broke up a little more than a month ago. I'm 20 and so is he. We got together when we were both 18. He left me because he was tired of all of our arguments and disagreements. Things weren't working out for as long as I can remember but I still love him so I didn't leave. Before the break up happened, I had told him I needed some time for myself (2 week break that ended up when he left me.) I was super tired of our arguments over stupid things as well and that we weren't truly connecting and communicating. But after those two weeks I was missing him so so much that I asked him if he wanted to get back together now and fix our problems once and for all. That's when he told me he thought it was better for us to break up because he felt that it wasn't "our time" to be together. That maybe we should break up and see if in the future we can try it again.

 

I was shocked at his answer because when I asked him to take a break he was the one who told me not to take it because it was gonna make things worse. But since things weren't working out while being together either, I decided that was the best way. It's been two months now and I've been begging him ever since he left me to get back together and try one last time. That it's not impossible and that he is the man of my dreams! I've been trying so hard to get him back but he's just being cold towards me and avoids the topic. Ever since our "break" and now breakup, we haven't talk on the phone at all, it's all been through texts. And he is the one that told me not to cut communication because "MAYBE" there is still a chance for us. Whenever I asked him if he was ready, he always said no. That he wasn't sure, that I'm not thinking straight, that loves is not enough and the last thing he said was "maybe we just need to find someone more compatible for us and that's it." I took this as, well, he probably likes someone else already and that's why he doesn't want to try anymore. So I go and ask him about it a couple of times and his answer was always "no." For some reason, I was still in doubt.

 

A week ago I entered to his fb profile, only to find that he had added these two girls. They're both gamers (he's a hardcore gamer), and they have been tagging each other on game videos and stuff. I immediately felt jealous because I know he might like at least one of them! So I ask him again if he likes someone else but he says no once more. But each day, I've been checking his fb and I see they're getting along well. They don't comment anything romantic related but still...I have this gut feeling that something else might be going on and it's driving me crazy!!! I've been super depressed about this whole situation and just thinking about it turns my stomach upside down. I can't help but cry at night and suffer in silence. He does not want me back no matter what and I don't understand why if he says he still have feelings for me?! And really, ever since our relationship ended I tried to distract myself with my friends, going out, etc. I even started going to the gym again. I've been trying super hard to get over him, but I just can't!!! Our relationship was never perfect, but what we had was beautiful and we always managed to fight our differences and have a happy ending. He was always so positive and always told me we would make it through no matter what...and now everything changed and he won't take me back. I'm losing my mind. I know I shouldn't contact him, and believe me, I try not to! He's mostly the one that texts me first and I just simply reply. Our conversations are basically "hey", "how are you", "what are you doing", basic stuff like that. I'm always the one who ends up bringing up the topic and asking him if there is still a chance. Of course, I'm not doing it anymore after what he said (to find someone more compatible) because I feel that if I keep insisting he will stop talking to me. I'm so scared and hopeless right now. I just can't get it through my mind how can someone forget 2 and a half years in two months time. It doesn't matter how much fun I have throughout the day, when night arrives I end up crying my eyes out because I miss my ex so very much!!! :'( he was and still is everything for me. I just want to stop feeling so depressed, I can't concentrate on my studies and it's making me feel physically ill. I don't know if I should start NC with him because he was the one who suggested to not stop talking, but at the same time I'm tired of waiting for something that is never gonna happen and him talking to me so cold hurts me even more...his birthday is on oct 17 and I want to do something for him but I don't even know if he will want that...please help me, I'm all alone and I have no one else to talk to about this...please

[louxor]

Hey, this will be quite long but please, I hope you can read this. I'm so devastated. So me and my boyfriend of 2 and a half years broke up a little more than a month ago. I'm 20 and so is he. We got together when we were both 18. He left me because he was tired of all of our arguments and disagreements. Things weren't working out for as long as I can remember but I still love him so I didn't leave. Before the break up happened, I had told him I needed some time for myself (2 week break that ended up when he left me.) I was super tired of our arguments over stupid things as well and that we weren't truly connecting and communicating. But after those two weeks I was missing him so so much that I asked him if he wanted to get back together now and fix our problems once and for all. That's when he told me he thought it was better for us to break up because he felt that it wasn't "our time" to be together. That maybe we should break up and see if in the future we can try it again.

 

I was shocked at his answer because when I asked him to take a break he was the one who told me not to take it because it was gonna make things worse. But since things weren't working out while being together either, I decided that was the best way. It's been two months now and I've been begging him ever since he left me to get back together and try one last time. That it's not impossible and that he is the man of my dreams! I've been trying so hard to get him back but he's just being cold towards me and avoids the topic. Ever since our "break" and now breakup, we haven't talk on the phone at all, it's all been through texts. And he is the one that told me not to cut communication because "MAYBE" there is still a chance for us. Whenever I asked him if he was ready, he always said no. That he wasn't sure, that I'm not thinking straight, that loves is not enough and the last thing he said was "maybe we just need to find someone more compatible for us and that's it." I took this as, well, he probably likes someone else already and that's why he doesn't want to try anymore. So I go and ask him about it a couple of times and his answer was always "no." For some reason, I was still in doubt.

 

A week ago I entered to his fb profile, only to find that he had added these two girls. They're both gamers (he's a hardcore gamer), and they have been tagging each other on game videos and stuff. I immediately felt jealous because I know he might like at least one of them! So I ask him again if he likes someone else but he says no once more. But each day, I've been checking his fb and I see they're getting along well. They don't comment anything romantic related but still...I have this gut feeling that something else might be going on and it's driving me crazy!!! I've been super depressed about this whole situation and just thinking about it turns my stomach upside down. I can't help but cry at night and suffer in silence. He does not want me back no matter what and I don't understand why if he says he still have feelings for me?! And really, ever since our relationship ended I tried to distract myself with my friends, going out, etc. I even started going to the gym again. I've been trying super hard to get over him, but I just can't!!! Our relationship was never perfect, but what we had was beautiful and we always managed to fight our differences and have a happy ending. He was always so positive and always told me we would make it through no matter what...and now everything changed and he won't take me back. I'm losing my mind. I know I shouldn't contact him, and believe me, I try not to! He's mostly the one that texts me first and I just simply reply. Our conversations are basically "hey", "how are you", "what are you doing", basic stuff like that. I'm always the one who ends up bringing up the topic and asking him if there is still a chance. Of course, I'm not doing it anymore after what he said (to find someone more compatible) because I feel that if I keep insisting he will stop talking to me. I'm so scared and hopeless right now. I just can't get it through my mind how can someone forget 2 and a half years in two months time. It doesn't matter how much fun I have throughout the day, when night arrives I end up crying my eyes out because I miss my ex so very much!!! :'( he was and still is everything for me. I just want to stop feeling so depressed, I can't concentrate on my studies and it's making me feel physically ill. I don't know if I should start NC with him because he was the one who suggested to not stop talking, but at the same time I'm tired of waiting for something that is never gonna happen and him talking to me so cold hurts me even more...his birthday is on oct 17 and I want to do something for him but I don't even know if he will want that...please help me, I'm all alone and I have no one else to talk to about this...please

 

You must stop contacting him, right away. He is dragging you along with false hope and it is holding you back!

 

Stop texting, calling, facebook stalking, everything, and go dark. NC NC NC NC NC! (Do not contact him for his birthday nor sending him any gifts) - If you can't resist the urge, then delete and block his social medias, block his phone number etc so that there is absolutely no way for you to break NC.

 

There is absolutely no reason to be wasting your life and delaying your recovery over someone who does not care for you in the way you care for them. Its horrible, I know, myself and many others on here are going through very similar things - but what all of us who are on the road to recovery will tell you is that NC is the only way for you to begin to move on.

 

You must commit to NC and mean it. Walk away and never look back. It is the fastest way to becoming happy again in your life - If you force yourself to place your ex in the position of being a nobody in your life, then over time you will begin to truly see him in that way and the pain will become smaller and smaller.

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, at the risk of sounding blunt, you are the one who actually pulled the plug on your relationship, not him. He didn't want a break but you went ahead with it anyway - what did you expect him to do? Wait around for you to decide the relationship was worth fighting for? It doesn't work like that. You say what you had was beautiful but you were the one to pull back from it. He followed your lead. I'm not sure what your objective was in taking a break but you learned the hard way that it doesn't generally yield positive results.

 

As recommended, you need to begin No Contact. This includes not checking his FB page. It's only hurting you, no? Believe me when I say that the begging will start to seriously irritate him and definitely turn him off. It's also not helping you to heal. You need to take the energy you are putting into him and start putting it into yourself and your recovery.

Edited October 11, 2015 by ExpatInItaly