babsr Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Hey LS, Me and my boyfriend have been dating for just over 2 years. He is planning to move cities to live with me while i finish my masters degree. But within the last 3 months my family has been having a lot of issues, and i dont want to go into details, but im constantly in a bad mood or upset or having to grab a bus to head back to my hometown for the weekend. I know that my bf tries to be supportive but i have a really hard time talking to him about this. I used to talk to him about it more but im finding it really hard and not very satisfying when i do. So i've just stopped bringing it up and i tell him not to ask me about it. But i'm having a hard time trying to be happy when im with him for a couple hours, or a day, and then returning to unhapiness when we leave. I feel guilty because he is such a happy person and i'm just bringing so much gloom into his life. So recently i've been thinking about taking a break from our relationship so I can be upset and grieve on my own for a while. Its been really stressful living these two lives and not feeling like i can be myself. But I also really love him - I know that it will really hurt him which is the last thing I want. What should I do?
mystikmind2005 Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Sounds like he is not very good at being supportive, leaving you feeling alone in your trouble. If things were working well, you would be relying on him as your rock to get you through these hard times - that is how great relationships work. This suggests that overall the relationship is not that great? You need to tell him this, and try to be more open to his efforts to be supportive to you.
Lansing Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I think some people deal with stress/hard times differently. Personally I just want to be alone and focus in what needs to get done and I tend to shut out other people. Others tend to turn to family/friends for support. D you find yourself turning to other people beside your bf for support? If not, maybe it is something in your own personality vs how you feel about your BF.
Author babsr Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 You are right - I haven't talked to anyone about this. The relationship is great overall, I do feel really loved and supported in general. Maybe you are right and I need to tell him how he can be supportive for me and what that means right now. But part of me doesn't even want to unload all of that into his life - I don't want him to have to carry around that unhappiness like me.
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