Panatana90 Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Been dating and talking to a girl I met a few weeks ago. Things have been going very well, she has commented on how much she's enjoyed our two dates and that she liked kissing me and was looking forward to the next date. Didn't hear from her yesterday though which is first day we haven't spoke since meeting. We arranged our third date a few days ago for tonight but she cancelled. I got a WhatsApp message quite early (7am) asking if we could rain check. She said her grandpa was taken into hospital and she wanted to see him tonight after work. She apologised and said she hates cancelling but hopes I understand. No actual day/time for another date though. I replied saying that was fine and that I hope her grandpa was ok. Haven't heard from her since but tbh we do only message sporadically, like only about 10-15 messages a day. She hasn't "seen" the message according to WhatsApp (blue ticks nonsense). Does this sound legit or just an excuse? It would be a pretty bad excuse to make up so should I just wait to see what she says next? I don't want to be nosy or intrusive if it is a family issue. Any help appreciated.
TunaCat Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I don't know anyone that would make up something like this in order to get out of a date. So yeah, it sounds legit to me. I certainly would have cancelled a date if someone in my family was in the hospital (grandma, mom, brother etc) Family is the most important thing to me. I am also not surprised that you haven't heard from her. She's probably with her family, worrying about her grandpa right now. Give it a week, and if you still haven't heard from her, check in on her. If she doesn't reply to that, then just consider things between you to be over. 1
dumbass2 Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Is there any reason why you should doubt her?
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 It's normal she did not reschedule. If someone close to me was bad enough to be admitted to hospital my mind would not be thinking 'I need to reschedule with this guy'. I would cancel, head to hospital and then from there depending on the situation I would get back to him later.
Author Panatana90 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Posted October 10, 2015 Is there any reason why you should doubt her? Nope. But I'm a cynical person haven been flaked on in the past. I shouldn't apply this logic to all girls, I know. And this one does seem very nice.
katiegrl Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Nope. But I'm a cynical person haven been flaked on in the past. I shouldn't apply this logic to all girls, I know. And this one does seem very nice. I understand how you feel. I mean, her cancelling via WhatApp is lame IMO. Her not suggesting another day, like Sunday or even next week, is suspect. In addition, is she planning to spend the night at the hospital? She could visit after work for a few hours, visiting hours end at 9:00 pm at most hospitals, and then still see you after ....it's Saturday night! I can understand her being upset, especially if grandpa's illness is serious and life threatening. But if that were case, why is she off to work all day? Would not she have taken the day off work to go be with grandpa? Jmo, but none if this is jiving. Sorry.
WaylonWoods Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 It sounds legit. If you've already kissed and she's said she enjoyed the dates then you shouldn't be too paranoid. You don't want to come across as selfish so the best thing to do is wait and then be sympathetic about her situation when she gets back in touch.
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Why is she off to work all day? Would not she have taken the day off work to go be with grandpa? OH, I missed that part, she went to work? Ok, lets say her grand father was admitted to hospital for something non-urgent enough to miss work but she still wants to go visit him, it's ok to cancel her date. If someone close to me like a brother was admitted to hospital and all the family is agreeing on visiting him that night there is no way I can tell family 'sorry can't go, I got a date with joe blow from pof'. Also, maybe she has something else that keeps her from seeing you tonight. The reason is still not of your concerns as you only had 2 dates and she doesn't have to explain herself to you. I have come up with bogus excuses to cancel dates because the truth was embarrassing like my periods are too heavy for me to leave home! Make other plans for tonight, 2 dates she should not be your only option. If she is interested enough she will get back to you.
katiegrl Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 It sounds legit. If you've already kissed and she's said she enjoyed the dates then you shouldn't be too paranoid. You don't want to come across as selfish so the best thing to do is wait and then be sympathetic about her situation when she gets back in touch. They have only had two dates. Feelings can change on a dime in these VERY early stages. My guess (just a guess) is she was still chatting with other guys, which is her prerogative, she met another guy who intrigues her more, and is going out with him tonight, Saturday night. Family issues, illness is like the no. 1 excuse people use to break dates. Sad, but true (from what I've read,). 2
katiegrl Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 OH, I missed that part, she went to work? Ok, lets say her grand father was admitted to hospital for something non-urgent enough to miss work but she still wants to go visit him, it's ok to cancel her date. If someone close to me like a brother was admitted to hospital and all the family is agreeing on visiting him that night there is no way I can tell family 'sorry can't go, I got a date with joe blow from pof'. Also, maybe she has something else that keeps her from seeing you tonight. The reason is still not of your concerns as you only had 2 dates and she doesn't have to explain herself to you. I have come up with bogus excuses to cancel dates because the truth was embarrassing like my periods are too heavy for me to leave home! Make other plans for tonight, 2 dates she should not be your only option. If she is interested enough she will get back to you. Yes Gaeta, she went to work, and told the OP (via WhatsApp) she wanted to visit grandpa AFTER work.
Author Panatana90 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Posted October 10, 2015 They have only had two dates. Feelings can change on a dime in these VERY early stages. My guess (just a guess) is she was still chatting with other guys, which is her prerogative, she met another guy who intrigues her more, and is going out with him tonight, Saturday night. Family issues, illness is like the no. 1 excuse people use to break dates. Sad, but true (from what I've read,). Not long after getting another message from her apologising again for cancelling and thanking me for understanding.
katiegrl Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 (edited) Not long after getting another message from her apologising again for cancelling and thanking me for understanding. Fabulous! I hope it was legit and that it all works out for ya! Was just giving my own opinion, tis all. Which I still maintain. And frankly, after only two dates, you had no choice BUT to be understanding. Good luck! Edited October 10, 2015 by katiegrl
WaylonWoods Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 They have only had two dates. Feelings can change on a dime in these VERY early stages. My guess (just a guess) is she was still chatting with other guys, which is her prerogative, she met another guy who intrigues her more, and is going out with him tonight, Saturday night. Family issues, illness is like the no. 1 excuse people use to break dates. Sad, but true (from what I've read,). Definitely possible, but wouldn't she just say she was ill?
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Sounds totally legit to me. Most jobs won't let you just randomly have time off to visit a relative in hospital unless they're critically ill and might pass away. Especially someone who isn't an immediate relative like a parent or a child or sibling. The thing is, why do you care so much? It's been two dates. You should be talking to and going out with a bunch of people at this stage. If someone cancels you say 'no worries, hit me up when you're free' and then get busy doing other things. You don't second guess whether they're lying about a sick relative! 2
katiegrl Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Definitely possible, but wouldn't she just say she was ill? Dude, YOU are the one who was doubting her! I agreed with you, and now you're defending her? Make up your mind for crying out loud. Lol If you want to believe her, then believe her and let it go. Call her tomorrow and make another date. I have no idea whether she lied or not. I just gave my opinion based on what you yourself posted. Again, hope it works out!
WaylonWoods Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Dude, YOU are the one who was doubting her! I agreed with you, and now you're defending her? Make up your mind for crying out loud. Lol If you want to believe her, then believe her and let it go. Call her tomorrow and make another date. I have no idea whether she lied or not. I just gave my opinion based on what you yourself posted. Again, hope it works out! I think you've mistaken me for the original poster. 1
katiegrl Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I think you've mistaken me for the original poster. Lol, I know I just noticed that!! Sorry bout that. :bunny:
fitnessfan365 Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 You acted like it was no big deal and wished her grandpa well. That was just the right way to handle it IMO. Now the fact that she didn't offer a re-schedule option is a bad sign. Then again, if her grandpa is in the hospital, her mind is going to pre-occupied with that. After all, you're a guy she's only had two dates with. So my advice? Give it a week and allow her time to reach out to you. If you don't hear from her after a week, try reaching out and setting up a date one more time. If that busts, then walk away. 3
Vintage79 Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I understand how you feel. I mean, her cancelling via WhatApp is lame IMO. Her not suggesting another day, like Sunday or even next week, is suspect. In addition, is she planning to spend the night at the hospital? She could visit after work for a few hours, visiting hours end at 9:00 pm at most hospitals, and then still see you after ....it's Saturday night! I can understand her being upset, especially if grandpa's illness is serious and life threatening. But if that were case, why is she off to work all day? Would not she have taken the day off work to go be with grandpa? Jmo, but none if this is jiving. Sorry. Hmm - date after spending a few hours with a loved one that is tough enough shape to bein the hospital...if you like super awkward dates it could be your thing. She could have said we'll find another time soon, or something similar, but passing is legit, and trying to wedge a date around the schedule of your potentially dying grandfather...she made the right choice - it doesn't matter what day of the week it is...
katiegrl Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 (edited) Hmm - date after spending a few hours with a loved one that is tough enough shape to bein the hospital...if you like super awkward dates it could be your thing. She could have said we'll find another time soon, or something similar, but passing is legit, and trying to wedge a date around the schedule of your potentially dying grandfather...she made the right choice - it doesn't matter what day of the week it is... Fair enough, you could be right. But then again, so could I for that matter. Who knows really, none of us are psychic. Again, just gave my opinion. You don't agree, I respect that. FWIW, I hope you're right! Fitnessfan gave the best advice. Give her a week to reach out, if she doesn't, call her and ask her out again. If she declines or agrees and breaks it again, then move on. Edited October 10, 2015 by katiegrl
Stage5Clinger Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 An excuse is an excuse is an excuse is an excuse. My grandpa is in the hospital is so classic it's not even funny anymore. Was she staying the night to take care of him and keep him company? Nah. Girls don't like to say they aren't interested sometimes they just make up a thousand excuses until you are exhausted from trying. I suggest you take a step back and let her reach out to you if she wants to see you. If she doesn't, and I suspect she won't, then drop it like it's hot. 4
Ami1uwant Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 They have only had two dates. Feelings can change on a dime in these VERY early stages. My guess (just a guess) is she was still chatting with other guys, which is her prerogative, she met another guy who intrigues her more, and is going out with him tonight, Saturday night. Family issues, illness is like the no. 1 excuse people use to break dates. Sad, but true (from what I've read,). If I recall.....she did this really early in the morning. That snd using her grandparent is hospitalized is an atypical excuse. She mentions this dome 10-12 hrs before the date was yo happen. It's not last minute.
lino Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I've heard people use sick grandparents as an excuse. My money says she's onto another bloke. 1
Maggie4 Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 we do only message sporadically, like only about 10-15 messages a day. Stop that. It's too early to message 10-15 times a day. One person will get too involved while the other person loses interest. 1
phineas Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 You acted like it was no big deal and wished her grandpa well. That was just the right way to handle it IMO. Now the fact that she didn't offer a re-schedule option is a bad sign. Then again, if her grandpa is in the hospital, her mind is going to pre-occupied with that. After all, you're a guy she's only had two dates with. So my advice? Give it a week and allow her time to reach out to you. If you don't hear from her after a week, try reaching out and setting up a date one more time. If that busts, then walk away. Best advice and how I handle these situations. I've heard a wide range of excuses from sick kids to sick pets. Medical excuses are the one thing only a complete ass would challenge and people know it. Could be legit but you just have to wait it out and see. 1
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