Author treehugger101 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Posted October 10, 2015 I really wanted to try and defend this guy because technology can bite someone in the ass even if they are trying to be good -- but this changes things. We can't prove that he is actively on these websites (unless you looked really hard before you deleted his account) but we definitely know that he has been active between the times that you created the e-mail account and today. He can lie about match.com but what about this Tinder app? You have to knowingly seek that app out, download it, install it, accept the privacy terms, etc. If you don't get a good answer from this then there is no honesty in your relationship. It's up to you to decide what that really means. He doesn't have a passcode on his phone so anyone can go into it and look at EVERYTHING. So he says his friend downloaded the APP of Tinder. Because his friend knew his password. He lets me log onto his email, phone, and social media accounts, because he is proving to me he isn't cheating or hiding anything.
Stage5Clinger Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 He doesn't have a passcode on his phone so anyone can go into it and look at EVERYTHING. So he says his friend downloaded the APP of Tinder. Because his friend knew his password. He lets me log onto his email, phone, and social media accounts, because he is proving to me he isn't cheating or hiding anything. What are you proving by having to go through his ****? Secondly, why would his friend download Tinder on his phone??? It's linked into your boyfriend's Facebook, correct? If it doesn't make sense it's a LIE.
Author treehugger101 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 What are you proving by having to go through his ****? Secondly, why would his friend download Tinder on his phone??? It's linked into your boyfriend's Facebook, correct? If it doesn't make sense it's a LIE. His friend is an idiot? And the Tinder was not activated, when I opened the APP it asked to sign up, so he NEVER made an account.
Stage5Clinger Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 His friend is an idiot? And the Tinder was not activated, when I opened the APP it asked to sign up, so he NEVER made an account. Actually, that could also just mean that whoever used it signed out (or deleted the app cache). I don't see why this is a stretch for you to believe when he clearly signed up for Match.com on his own accord and is now straight up lying about it. Not saying you need to run right up to him and dump him but seriously.. if you want this to workout between you two honesty needs to be second nature. You're already on heightened alert obviously by being so protective about the e-mail accounts and running his phone. Maybe you need to consider why you feel that way in the first place.
Author treehugger101 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 Actually, that could also just mean that whoever used it signed out (or deleted the app cache). I don't see why this is a stretch for you to believe when he clearly signed up for Match.com on his own accord and is now straight up lying about it. Not saying you need to run right up to him and dump him but seriously.. if you want this to workout between you two honesty needs to be second nature. You're already on heightened alert obviously by being so protective about the e-mail accounts and running his phone. Maybe you need to consider why you feel that way in the first place. He has always let me go on his phone and other online accounts to look at whatever and if I did find something, i would confront him about it. I have asked him to confess throughout the day, today but he isn't talking.
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 He doesn't have a passcode on his phone so anyone can go into it and look at EVERYTHING. So he says his friend downloaded the APP of Tinder. Because his friend knew his password. He lets me log onto his email, phone, and social media accounts, because he is proving to me he isn't cheating or hiding anything. That's not how not having a passcode works. Not having a passcode isn't an open invitation for anyone to then go into his phone and look at his stuff. I have a passcode in case I lose my phone at work so that a stranger can't go into it and see personal material. If I didn't have that passcode that doesn't mean that ANYONE can go into it and look around. It'd still be a grave invasion of privacy whether it was my partner, my friend or a colleague. Your boundaries are messed up. Having the ability to do something doesn't mean you should do it. 1
Author treehugger101 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 That's not how not having a passcode works. Not having a passcode isn't an open invitation for anyone to then go into his phone and look at his stuff. I have a passcode in case I lose my phone at work so that a stranger can't go into it and see personal material. If I didn't have that passcode that doesn't mean that ANYONE can go into it and look around. It'd still be a grave invasion of privacy whether it was my partner, my friend or a colleague. Your boundaries are messed up. Having the ability to do something doesn't mean you should do it. I know but he lets me. Didn't you ever date someone that allowed you access to their stuff?
Gaeta Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 So I know he is up to something he is just afraid to admit it to me, because he knows he will loose me if he says anything. He doesn't want to loose me because he is scared. But yet he does this type of stuff, and is afraid to admit it. He is not afraid to lose you. Actually you don't mean that much to him if he is playing on dating sites and has tinder on his phone. I don't believe for 1 minute that his friend installed the dating app on his phone. If you believe him then you are in complete denial.
Author treehugger101 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 He is not afraid to lose you. Actually you don't mean that much to him if he is playing on dating sites and has tinder on his phone. I don't believe for 1 minute that his friend installed the dating app on his phone. If you believe him then you are in complete denial. Well I asked him to come over today, let's see if he does. But I don't think he is even going to talk to me, let alone admit what he did. I want to hear him say it for himself so badly but he can't bring himself to do it.
Gaeta Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Well I asked him to come over today, let's see if he does. But I don't think he is even going to talk to me, let alone admit what he did. I want to hear him say it for himself so badly but he can't bring himself to do it. How old are you? is this your first boyfriend? He will never admit to it, never ever. You are expecting him to do something he will never do. A man will never admit he is cheating or chasing women around unless you catch him red-handed. You had the opportunity to catch him with his profile but you were too afraid to find out the truth. That's why you deleted the profile. You don't want the truth.
Author treehugger101 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 How old are you? is this your first boyfriend? He will never admit to it, never ever. You are expecting him to do something he will never do. A man will never admit he is cheating or chasing women around unless you catch him red-handed. You had the opportunity to catch him with his profile but you were too afraid to find out the truth. That's why you deleted the profile. You don't want the truth. I went on that profile and his profile wasn't even set up. There was no messages or anything. If he caught me with a dating app or website and wanted the truth I would tell him the truth and be honest 100%. I want him to do that for me but he won't.
Gaeta Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I went on that profile and his profile wasn't even set up. There was no messages or anything. If he caught me with a dating app or website and wanted the truth I would tell him the truth and be honest 100%. I want him to do that for me but he won't. I am not talking about tinder. I am talking about match. He is getting emails from match, emails sending him his MUTUAL matches, meaning he liked girls and they liked him in return. You deleted that profile instead of testing it. It's not because you are an honest person that others will be toward you. I don't know in what fantasy land you are living treehugger.
Author treehugger101 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 I am not talking about tinder. I am talking about match. He is getting emails from match, emails sending him his MUTUAL matches, meaning he liked girls and they liked him in return. You deleted that profile instead of testing it. It's not because you are an honest person that others will be toward you. I don't know in what fantasy land you are living treehugger. I already said I checked that profile on Match and he didn't even have his profile set up.
Gaeta Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 If he didn't have his profile set up then how did he give likes on those MUTUAL matches?
Author treehugger101 Posted October 12, 2015 Author Posted October 12, 2015 If he didn't have his profile set up then how did he give likes on those MUTUAL matches? When I viewed his profile, it asked to set it up. And he admitted to me that he did sign up for Match and Tinder but only because HE THOUGHT we were broken up. But we were never broken up, he just assumed and jumped the gun. So yeah he admitted it and we talked things over and all is ok now.
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