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My girlfriend of almost 4 years left me!!


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Posted

Ill try to make this short. Shes 20 im 21. We were eachothers first love. Her first real relationship what so ever. I had several relationship but nothing serious before her. The entire relationship ill be honest i was embarrassed of her. So i never wanted to involve her in family or friend activites. I didnt do many romatic things for her. She told me over what she wanted from me but i never actually would stick to it. I never thought i truly loved this girl. But i found my self falling for her more then it was to late. She left me, said i would never change but she still loves me to death and hoped i could get my stuff together. Maybe in the future if were meant to be then we will be together. Heres where it gets messed up. She started dating guys immediately and going out like crazy so i did the same. She was hurt by what i was doing and so was i. Everytime i would text her she would answer. If i told her to call me she would still call me. I dont blame her for what shes doing because i wasnt giving her what she wanted. We spoke last night because i said i wanted to leave on good terms. I told her im sorry for being a jerk and tried one last time for her to give me another chance. She said she still loves me, has feelings for me, misses me and does want to be with me and give me another chance but as of right now she needs time to find her self. Talk to other people and for me to just give her more time. She said if im all thats on her mind in a month or two or whatever then she will try to get me back. If i dont want her then thats the chance shes willing to take. At this point i want to give her space but i dont want to lose her. Theres just nothing left i can do...... Let me know what u guys think

Posted

What do you mean that you were embarrassed of her the whole relationship?

Posted

I hate to say this, but you have lost her.

 

And - frankly - both of you are going to change EXPONENTIALLY in the next five to ten years so the first budding love that commences in one's teen's rarely lasts the test of time.

 

Who you are, what you want, who you will end up being, and who you will love are all going to change so don't worry about trying to hold on to something (and someone) you met in your youth.

 

It doesn't feel like it now, but you will heal and you will love again; bigger, brighter, and more ardently.

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Posted

Thanks for the response. Its hard to hear but it is what it is. She told me even when shes with friends or a guy that she cant stop thinking of me. I know she talks about me alot still. I know shes really hurt too. I wish there was some other way but now all i can do is give her space and hope for the best.

Posted

CarrieT is right.

 

The way I see it is that if the relationship was meant to work, it'll keep on working.

 

If not, then it's time to recover my friend. Rebuild yourself, learn to love yourself again and become stronger than ever before. Like Batman.

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Posted

what i mean is that i was embarrassed of how she acted and to be honest her looks.... But at the same time i was still into her for some reason. Another question i have is i spoke to her yesterday and agreed we wouldnt talk for a while and she texted me today a selfie of her and about some Halloween stuff. Like i dont understand why? I give her space and then she send me random stuff.... Do i even respond or leave it as is?

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Posted

Thanks for the response and the advice!

Posted
what i mean is that i was embarrassed of how she acted and to be honest her looks.... But at the same time i was still into her for some reason. Another question i have is i spoke to her yesterday and agreed we wouldnt talk for a while and she texted me today a selfie of her and about some Halloween stuff. Like i dont understand why? I give her space and then she send me random stuff.... Do i even respond or leave it as is?

 

No, you don't respond, you never respond, ever.

 

Go No Contact (see the NC Guide,my signature).

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Posted

Ok sounds good i wont, its hard because i want her back but it only hurts me more. I dont think she understands how serious this is. And she thinks im always going to be there for her. Im done feeling horrible over her. NC it is!

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Posted

Ex gf of 4 years left me, shes 20 im 21. I neglected her for to long now shes gone. She began dating immediatly after leaving me. Dont blame her shes just trying to get what i didnt give her. I never realized what i had till it was gone. First month just ended and i did all the begging, pleading ect. everytime i text she will text me back, everytime i call she answers which is weird to me considering she said shes done for good. Last phone call we had she told me she loves me, misses me and does want to be with me and for some reason give me another chance but as of right now shes to scared and wants to see what others have to offer and more importantly just find her self again and learn how to not need me. She said i shouldnt try to contact her anymore because its to hard. So i said im sorry it has to be this way, told her i loved her and hung up. Next morning she texts me about some random stuff..... She couldnt even wait one day to not text me. Im ether in with her or im out. I cant keep in contact because everytime we talk i feel like ****. I do want her back more than anything. She told me she thinks about me alot. I just dont know what else to do here guys. I want to give her space so she misses me. As for the text msg i just sent her an emoji then she texted back and i never responded to that. Let me know what you guys think! Thank you!

Posted
Ex gf of 4 years left me, shes 20 im 21. I neglected her for to long now shes gone. She began dating immediatly after leaving me. Dont blame her shes just trying to get what i didnt give her. I never realized what i had till it was gone. First month just ended and i did all the begging, pleading ect. everytime i text she will text me back, everytime i call she answers which is weird to me considering she said shes done for good. Last phone call we had she told me she loves me, misses me and does want to be with me and for some reason give me another chance but as of right now shes to scared and wants to see what others have to offer and more importantly just find her self again and learn how to not need me. She said i shouldnt try to contact her anymore because its to hard. So i said im sorry it has to be this way, told her i loved her and hung up. Next morning she texts me about some random stuff..... She couldnt even wait one day to not text me. Im ether in with her or im out. I cant keep in contact because everytime we talk i feel like ****. I do want her back more than anything. She told me she thinks about me alot. I just dont know what else to do here guys. I want to give her space so she misses me. As for the text msg i just sent her an emoji then she texted back and i never responded to that. Let me know what you guys think! Thank you!

 

You already know what needs to be done - Leave her be, focus on improving yourself and if she wants to contact you she will. For the time being, go NC and don't look back.

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