Dazsrcope Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Hello to all, I've decided to reach out to anyone/everyone for any advice or insight to my situation. A little background information, I had been in a relationship with my now ex for 5+ years and up until 2 weeks ago things were going very well. I'm 27 years old while her being 24. Over the course of 5 years we have been through ups and downs just like any relationship, but each lesson only made us that much stronger. I was certain that I wanted this woman to be my wife and planned on asking her to be just that, this holiday. I really have no issues to mention prior to this blowup occurring 2 weeks ago that may give insight to something going on prior. On Saturday the 26th she was on her way to a concert with her girlfriends when she had received a call from her sister that her mother had been life flighted to a nearby hospital, after passing out in the living room. Sadly after spending a long night by her and her family's side we were given the terrible news that her mother had passed from a severe brain aneurysm. Her mother was only 40 and they shared a pretty deep relationship, almost more like sisters. After meeting with the doctors about all of this, she sat there crying uncontrollably in my arms, when she looked up and said "I'm going to have to help raise these kids", referring to her 15 and 9 year old sisters. I ensured her I would be by her side every step of the way and that we would make it through all of this. After calling her best friend to get something set up for her at our place to cheer her up, she spent the night having some wine and laughing with her best friend and myself. When her friend left, we laid down and fell asleep. I woke up the next morning to find her not in bed. She sent me a text a little later stating she was heading to her mothers if I wanted to meet her there. When I got there she looked at me and told me that she had spoken with her "PoS" drunken ex and proceeded to go spend the night with him. Now I sit here almost two weeks later not understanding much of any of this. She has completely turned cold and is just being a mean spirited individual. She claims that our relationship shouldn't give her "doubts" if we were meant to be, and that she can't help her "feelings" she has for her ex. Now I've been left out alone while she is supposedly pursuing some sort of true love she seems to think she has for her boyfriend. I realize this isn't a relationship that myself, or anyone else, should have to deal with but I'm the type who has to rationalize everything. I can't for the life of me make any sense of how I went from someone's everything to a distant memory in a matter of 2 weeks?
Lilac Love Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I can't for the life of me make any sense of how I went from someone's everything to a distant memory in a matter of 2 weeks? You were not her everything. She still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend. Have you always known how she feels about him?
Mrlovahlovah Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I don't know about the ex thing, to be honest it's rather weird, because unresolved feelings for an ex usually blow up way before the 5 year mark. you're saying there weren't any signs prior to the bu, which i find hard to believe, but if i was to go with that narrative i'd say the trauma from losing her mother might've sent her on some sort of self destruction path. given the ****ed up circumstances of the path she had chosen (having a BF) i don't think you have a lot to do but stay out of it an let it play out. if it's indeed the case she's bound to snap out of it at some point. when? dunno. is it worth the wait? dunno. probably not though. I know people who go through dramatic events like she's gone through are not to be judged harshly. but you know what? **** that. i've been through some **** in my life and i never let it serve as an excuse to treat someone who cared for me and spent 5 years with me like garbage. no matter how bad or good your relationship is. you DO NOT. i repeat. you DO NOT throw out a person who cared for you for that long, and sat with you in the hospital when your world was falling apart, reassuring you everything's was going to be ok, just to go back immediately to some 5+ year ex. this is not something a decent person would do. honestly, again, with circumstances accounted for, i think you dodged a bullet and saved yourself getting a ring. it's gonna be tough for a while. but this is for the best mate. 1
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