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Am I being unreasonable?!


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Posted

Trying to keep this brief as I can...

 

Several months ago I got chatting to a guy from pof. We text and chatted on the phone a lot. We ended up having a big argument. Because we hadn't met up yet (it has been weeks) and he seemed hot and cold. Admittedly I reacted to it horribly, acted like a needy jealous loser.

 

Since then he was very cold ob me. I would tell him I feel like he didn't really like me. He would say I was being stupid, I was tripping, that I should stop talking to him then. He was pretty mean.

 

I did end up going no contact. Then a couple of months later, I get a message from him like "hey babygirl I'm sorry for how I was, can you give me another chance cause I do really like you" so we started chatting again. Then again we fell out, cause he didn't act interested in meeting me. It would always be "soon" but I felt bad for tripping on him.

 

Then a week ago I contacted him sayibg hey, and we started chatting again. I said "this time let's just meet" he said definitely, and talked about being excited for it. He texts me every day, we send pics.

 

But then today I ask "what are you upto tonight? " he says "I haven't decided " I ask If we can meet. He takes forever to reply with "I don't have the gas money until I next get paid " so I say "you make a lot of excuses not to hang out with a chick you apparently like " he says "I'm broke confused " so I say "if I made my way there would you see me?" im not going to do that btw, just testing him. He hasn't replied. I say "you just ain't that interested in me. I've tired over and over with you" Nothing so far.

 

Am I tripping?! usually when a guy likes me he wants to meet me! But this guy is complicated. He admits he is, and says he's a very guarded person. To me, why talk to me, initiating conversation 9 times out of 10, if he can't meet me? Does his excuse sound real?

Posted

You are not tripping.

 

For best results on OLD, try and meet as soon as you can. Next time, don't drag things out by talking on the phone and texting. He's calling you "baby girl?" he hasn't met you yet! Just, no.

 

Tell him goodbye and good riddance, and don't reply to him again unless it's to a time and place to meet. Your life is too short to be wasting time on a man who is taking no initiative to meet.

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Posted

Yeah, he really made me feel like I'm being unreasonable. But he's apparently looking for a relationship... How does he expect that to happen if he can't even meet. It's like he wants a texting relationship.

Posted
Yeah, he really made me feel like I'm being unreasonable. But he's apparently looking for a relationship... How does he expect that to happen if he can't even meet. It's like he wants a texting relationship.

 

I would bet that he's not exactly single, but looking for side action when his girlfriend or wife isn't around.

 

Don't waste any more time with him. It's clearly not going anywhere.

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Posted
You are not tripping.

 

For best results on OLD, try and meet as soon as you can. Next time, don't drag things out by talking on the phone and texting. He's calling you "baby girl?" he hasn't met you yet! Just, no.

 

.

Yes this is so wrong!

Actually. I don't really get how you can even get into an argument like that. You haven't even met.

 

Next time stop imagining there is some sort of relationship before you meet. He sounds like he might be married or otherwise misrepresenting himself.

  • Like 3
Posted

I had a lot of guys play those kind of games when I was doing OLD.

 

You are learning the lesson hard; try and meet the guy sooner - rather than later - in the convo, before you get too much time (and heart?) invested.

 

Just blow this guy off if he isn't breaking down the door to meet YOU! Not worth it...

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Posted

Thank you all. I needed to "hear" it from outsiders as I was questioning myself. I think he's just going to be too hard work. I'm mad I wasted this much time on him, I should have said goodbye for good the first time.

 

I'm not having much luck lately. Most guys persue for a lil while, then ghost me. Sigh. It's disheartening

Posted

OP look to meet up with a person fairly quickly

No marathon messaging sessions. No telling your life story.

Just a bit of banter, and an idea what they are looking for matcheds you (eg a ltr) and then arrange a meetup or swap numbers for one conversation before meeting.

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Posted

You are option B or C.

 

It sounds like you guys have dome distance between each other. If you lived in the same city not having gas money isn't a reason.

 

Don't water your time with him.

Posted

I'm not sure why you are even talking to a guy that gets into a fight with you, and gets verbally abusive/mean. You need to work on your self worth. This is what I always say, if it doesn't feel right, it's not.

Posted

Try the "NEXT" button. He's a loser IMO.

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Posted

Just move on.

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