alphamale Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 What could it mean? it doesn't mean anything, this is what guys do
SmartDude Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 This means he probably pursued someone else in the meantime, that didnt work out, and now you are his back up. I hate it when guys do this, total turn off. I would flat out tell him due to his silence and simply the passage of time, you are no longer interested and wish him well. Ok this right here ^^. This is a common female reaction I see a lot in dating. If you don't give a woman 100% of your attention, right away..she gets all pissy and feels rejected. Well sorry it just does not work that way in the real world. Men have preferences also. We don't always know what we want right away. Often it will take men longer to figure out their real feelings because of the influence of sexual arousal. Add to this that we have lives outside of pursuing the object of our desire. Things get in the way like: work, bills, survival, important goals in life..etc. So I still say no-foul on calling some one up months after not dating them. Feelings can suddenly change for no reason.
Versacehottie Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Ok this right here ^^. This is a common female reaction I see a lot in dating. If you don't give a woman 100% of your attention, right away..she gets all pissy and feels rejected. Well sorry it just does not work that way in the real world. Men have preferences also. We don't always know what we want right away. Often it will take men longer to figure out their real feelings because of the influence of sexual arousal. Add to this that we have lives outside of pursuing the object of our desire. Things get in the way like: work, bills, survival, important goals in life..etc. So I still say no-foul on calling some one up months after not dating them. Feelings can suddenly change for no reason. I agree. Girls that go pissy and have such crazy one-sided requirements for the guys doing everything perfectly is ridiculous and only nets them the type of guy who is 1000% ready and the precise moment they want or clingy. There are all sorts of reasons why guys aren't totally ready and "ghost"---some legit reasons, some not so good and mean that they are not the type of guys you'd want to date. Trust yourself to know the difference. I like that Smart Dude is giving another perspective. Fact is that yes OP's online guy was probably multi-dating. So? In OP's case, it's not great that he didn't answer the text--that might make him a no-go. Only OP can decide if there was enough there that it makes it worth going out with him. Plus you can also call him out on it teasingly BEFORE you go about disappearing on you. I can't even tell you how many GOOD relationships that I know where things didn't go perfectly at the beginning. And where a guy seemingly "ghosted" but really wasn't in place to date for WHATEVER reason. Even if one of the reasons is that he is still exploring something with another girl or has unresolved feelings for her--if they get resolved and he's back, so? You will be dealing with a more attentive and focused guy at this point. A girl I know met her husband online; for whatever reason he didn't follow through much at the beginning of them meeting, got back in touch A YEAR later and they moved from dating to marriage pretty fast after that. I'm not even sure why she allowed contact from him because she is the stringent type!!! The biggest point is you wouldn't want to miss out on a good guy because you are being super stringent about stuff. Trust yourself to figure it out. If you think he's jerking you around and wants an ego boost, then don't reply or say that you've got something else now.
smackie9 Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 The best thing is to have standards....if a guy doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated, you forget about him right at the start. Doesn't matter if he messages you a week later or a month later, mark him as a "do not reply". You spend your time and energy on those who respond to you in a timely manner and ask you out. 2
phineas Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Then why would you agree to a 4th date and even contact him when he ghosted? He isn't the only weird one in this situation. I read just fine. In early September he had initiated a 4th date....but said he was off on a 3 day business trip and would contact me to confirm when and where once he returned. That was 3rd September. Never heard from him again. I sent him a message on 7th September saying "Hope you have/had a successful trip". I received no response. Today he suddenly messaged me out of the blue, trying to set up a future date. No mention of the silence. This strikes me as extremely strange. What could it mean? if you had no interest in a 4th date why did you agree to it? If when he didn't contact you for the 4th date you claim you didn't want to go on why did you send him a text?
katiegrl Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 if you had no interest in a 4th date why did you agree to it? If when he didn't contact you for the 4th date you claim you didn't want to go on why did you send him a text? Good point. Apparently, she likes to date guys she has no interest in and lead them on. She's got another thread going wherein she did the same thing.
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