RoseWater Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I went on 3 dates with a guy from OLD. We got on quite well but I didn't feel sparks --- no idea if he did. This took place in July/August. In early September he had initiated a 4th date....but said he was off on a 3 day business trip and would contact me to confirm when and where once he returned. That was 3rd September. Never heard from him again. I sent him a message on 7th September saying "Hope you have/had a successful trip". I received no response. Today he suddenly messaged me out of the blue, trying to set up a future date. No mention of the silence. This strikes me as extremely strange. What could it mean?
ExpatInItaly Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I went on 3 dates with a guy from OLD. We got on quite well but I didn't feel sparks --- no idea if he did. This took place in July/August. In early September he had initiated a 4th date....but said he was off on a 3 day business trip and would contact me to confirm when and where once he returned. That was 3rd September. Never heard from him again. I sent him a message on 7th September saying "Hope you have/had a successful trip". I received no response. Today he suddenly messaged me out of the blue, trying to set up a future date. No mention of the silence. This strikes me as extremely strange. What could it mean? It means his other options aren't available so he wants to see if you're still open. Don't bother going out with him again. 11
Author RoseWater Posted October 10, 2015 Author Posted October 10, 2015 I don't find him attractive enough to even consider going out with him again. Strange that he even bothered to get in touch after all this time. In the 3 dates we went on there was no physical contact of any kind, so I doubt he imagines he has any chance of having sex with me.
Lois_Griffin Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I went on 3 dates with a guy from OLD. We got on quite well but I didn't feel sparks --- no idea if he did. This took place in July/August. In early September he had initiated a 4th date....but said he was off on a 3 day business trip and would contact me to confirm when and where once he returned. That was 3rd September. Never heard from him again. I sent him a message on 7th September saying "Hope you have/had a successful trip". I received no response. Today he suddenly messaged me out of the blue, trying to set up a future date. No mention of the silence. This strikes me as extremely strange. What could it mean? It means the other woman/women he was pursuing over the last month didn't work out, so now he's coming back to try again with you. I wouldn't even reply to someone THIS rude. 1
Revan32 Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 It means he's not very into you, but he's feeling lonely and wants some female contact, even if it from a girl he doesn't even like very much.
Disconnect Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 What ExpatInItaly said, or he's selfish / inconsiderate / lacking social skills, or he didn't receive the preceding text.
losangelena Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I don't find him attractive enough to even consider going out with him again. Strange that he even bothered to get in touch after all this time. In the 3 dates we went on there was no physical contact of any kind, so I doubt he imagines he has any chance of having sex with me. That won't stop him from trying, though. 1
Ami1uwant Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I don't find him attractive enough to even consider going out with him again. Strange that he even bothered to get in touch after all this time. In the 3 dates we went on there was no physical contact of any kind, so I doubt he imagines he has any chance of having sex with me. You weren't the only one he was dating. He focused on someone else but that fell apart do now he goes back to you. 1
SmartDude Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Hahah you are all so jaded and pessimistic. What if a guy changes his mind after some time? Is that just not possible? He got busy with work and didn't want to waste your time maybee? Who really knows. 1
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Once a guy goes flaky or ghost on you, you block him simple as that. 5
xcupid Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I went on 3 dates with a guy from OLD. We got on quite well but I didn't feel sparks --- no idea if he did. This took place in July/August. In early September he had initiated a 4th date....but said he was off on a 3 day business trip and would contact me to confirm when and where once he returned. That was 3rd September. Never heard from him again. I sent him a message on 7th September saying "Hope you have/had a successful trip". I received no response. Today he suddenly messaged me out of the blue, trying to set up a future date. No mention of the silence. This strikes me as extremely strange. What could it mean? It means nothing. You're not attracted to him so nothing to pursue. NEXT! 1
Versacehottie Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Hahah you are all so jaded and pessimistic. What if a guy changes his mind after some time? Is that just not possible? He got busy with work and didn't want to waste your time maybee? Who really knows. Well pointed out, SmartDude. That's possible too and/or he is in search of an ego boost. OP, don't read too much into it. Just go if you have any interest or don't if you don't. Sounds like you don't--so easy. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Hahah you are all so jaded and pessimistic. What if a guy changes his mind after some time? Is that just not possible? He got busy with work and didn't want to waste your time maybee? Who really knows. Question for you: Would you behave like that? Re-contacting without any explanation or apology? 2
h0000 Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Hahah you are all so jaded and pessimistic. What if a guy changes his mind after some time? Is that just not possible? He got busy with work and didn't want to waste your time maybee? Who really knows. Oh ok he's not feeling it so he disappeared with no explanation . He's feeling it again so he reappeared with no apology Where is the manner and respect for other people? Such a rude and selfish man, better off without him 3
casey.lives Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 3 dates.. he's shuffling.. it's the beginning, it's to be expected.
SmartDude Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Question for you: Would you behave like that? Re-contacting without any explanation or apology? Yes I would re-contact some one if I felt a strong urge to do so. Even if an explanation or apology was not possible because of circumstances..
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Yes I would re-contact some one if I felt a strong urge to do so. Even if an explanation or apology was not possible because of circumstances.. Under what circumstances would it NOT be possible to offer either one, the other or both? 3
LostOne1 Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I have done this before.... it was not because I didn't like the women. I just got so busy with work and other activities. That, I just didn't message the girl. It also was partly due to the fact that there wasn't too much there. So, I took things slowly, and reached out at a later time to give it another shot. And, it went better the 2nd time because we were more comfortable with each other. My guess is both sides don't have tons of high interest right now. So it's going slow for you both.
phineas Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I don't find him attractive enough to even consider going out with him again. Strange that he even bothered to get in touch after all this time. In the 3 dates we went on there was no physical contact of any kind, so I doubt he imagines he has any chance of having sex with me. Then why would you agree to a 4th date and even contact him when he ghosted? He isn't the only weird one in this situation. 1
Author RoseWater Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 Then why would you agree to a 4th date and even contact him when he ghosted? He isn't the only weird one in this situation. I haven't contacted him or agreed to further dates since he ghosted. Are you sure you read my post? 3
Christos Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Online dating, means that someone dates multiple people at the same time. It is normal. Everyone does this, even when they deny it. They can find multiple people in short time, and they don't personally know anyone, so they have to try a few dates with everyone to truly know who they like to continue with. Don't look much into it. He had other options, he tried with them, didn't work out, he came back. Since you don't like him, forget about it. He was rude, but normal. If you don't like the idea of a man you date, dating other women, avoid OLD altogether. Each and every woman i ever met online dated multiple men, especially those who asked of ME not to... 1
RedRobin Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 When I was doing OLD, I didn't date multiple people, and did my best to avoid these who did. Not everyone online is a multi dater. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. He is not a good communicator. Seems like a waste of your time. Yes, block him. Even if I were interested in a guy initially, I wouldn't put up with behavior like this. 3
SugarLips72 Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 This means he probably pursued someone else in the meantime, that didnt work out, and now you are his back up. I hate it when guys do this, total turn off. I would flat out tell him due to his silence and simply the passage of time, you are no longer interested and wish him well.
SugarLips72 Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Nonsense. It takes 30 seconds to send a text. No excuse for the ghosting. If a guy is interested, he will keep in touch and pursue you. Hahah you are all so jaded and pessimistic. What if a guy changes his mind after some time? Is that just not possible? He got busy with work and didn't want to waste your time maybee? Who really knows. 3
MissBee Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I went on 3 dates with a guy from OLD. We got on quite well but I didn't feel sparks --- no idea if he did. This took place in July/August. In early September he had initiated a 4th date....but said he was off on a 3 day business trip and would contact me to confirm when and where once he returned. That was 3rd September. Never heard from him again. I sent him a message on 7th September saying "Hope you have/had a successful trip". I received no response. Today he suddenly messaged me out of the blue, trying to set up a future date. No mention of the silence. This strikes me as extremely strange. What could it mean? Ignore it. A decent guy wouldn't do this. Chances are, if you give him the time of day he will ghost you again. Google Baggae Reclaim and go to the site and read about men who like to press the "reset button" i.e.they go ghost or do something else horrible and disappear then come back and act like absolutely nothing is wrong and if you ever try to call them on it they will either accuse you of being a drama queen, they will continue to pretend like they don't know what you're talking about or give a flip apology and ask to "start over" still with no explanation and usually repeat this behavior again. He doesn't respect you. Keep it moving. 2
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