louxor Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Yea I know man I need to work on myself at the moment. I feel like that might have also been one of the reasons why her and I broke up cuz I started being insecure and passive to her which probably over time lead her away. That could have definitely been the reason. It's great that you can acknowledge this now so you know what not to do in future relationships. It it's of any help, this kind of thing is an extremely common thing that leads to break ups - I'd say most people would have experienced this in some way or another. Considering it was your first relationship as well, I'd say it's one of those things that you need to experience in order to understand what not to do. This is probably why almost all first relationships don't last, because both parties are just inexperienced and with that comes a high chance of doing things wrong. My goal now is to just go to the gym and work out and work on my life as a whole, I need to get myself out of this pit. That's what I like to see! Strive for happiness within yourself. You'll notice that life gets a whole lot simpler when you don't need anyone else in order to be happy. The funny thing is we were ****ing together for 4.5 years and didn't have sex. I regret that so much man, everyone told me that I should have done it, but she was a bit younger than me and I didn't want to force her into it. She kept saying she wanted to save it till marriage and at that time I just thought whatever if we're going to be together till then, I dont care about waiting. It was your first relationship so again ill highlight the inexperience point. Most people put up with a lot of things during first relationships because they don't have anything to compare it to so they think it's fine. Don't blame yourself for that one. Now I just feel so sick thinking about her with her new bf and the thought of them maybe having sex, cuz I know I waited but I also know, most other guys out there wont and I feel like an idiot for doing it. For starters you have no idea what they are doing. Chances are if she was in a 4.5 year relationship with you and didn't want to have sex until marriage, then she won't be wanting to have sex with this new guy either. I understand the sick feeling though, I get that too when I think about my ex potentially sleeping with another guy. However, whenever I feel this way I tend to focus on the negatives of our sex life which makes me feel better, such as her being really boring in bed, not sexually open at all, very insecure etc etc. Whenever I feel like s*** about one thing, I shut it down with all the negatives about her that I no longer have to deal with. Don't feel like an idiot about it. You respected her wishes which is nothing to feel bad about. Most guys (myself included) wouldn't be able to last with a girl who wanted to wait until marriage, so pat yourself on the back for having the respect and control for being able to put up with such a big thing for someone who was at the time very important to you. I also want to thank you Louxor, your replies really help man! Not a problem man! I'm in this with you (month out of my own BU) so being able to help someone else kind of helps me too in a strange way!
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