pinkpositive Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 So I have friend at work and we're close to each other for awhile now. The frist time I met him I thought he's a gay cos the way he talk and act. I asked him before if he's a gay but he said he is not and also showed me that he has Long distance Girlfriend. So I believed him. Just this last week, we attended a birthday party of our colleagues. We had few drinks everything turns ok, he even accompanied be going home. The following day, one of my colleagues, also a guy shared me something, this guy is not close with my friend as we're working in different department. He told me that my friend asked his Number last night which he also gave thinking just for friends only. He said my friend texted him saying "Goodnight and sweet dreams" and also told me that while when we're in the Birthday party my friend kept on entertaining him, asking how old is he, where he lives, and if he's enjoying the party and etc. This guy thinks my friend as a gay but I explained to him he isnt a gay. So I talked my friend and tease him in a way that he will not be offended. I tell him this way " Ayeeee.. why did you ask our colleagues number ha and even saying goodnight ha?!! are you gay? are you gay?! wheeew I love it! hahaha " He replied to me that he did not asked the number its my colleague who ask his number (not true) and he just want to find out if our masculine colleague is a gay. That's all. (Even its so obvious that guy isn't gay).. (He's making an alibi and changes the Topic) I actually feel weird about this since for so long I thought he's completely a man. So question, You think it's normal for men to say "Goodnight and sweet dreams for same gender?? If he's a gay why does he need to hide it from me? Do you think I offended him from asking? I dont really get the point. Thanks!
Grumpybutfun Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 (edited) Your immaturity at this astounds me. It is none, and I mean none, of your business what his sexual orientation is. You have no right as a work colleague to harass and taunt him about possibly being gay...you were rude and frankly weird. Being homosexual does not preclude gay men from being men. That is actually very homophobic and unkind. I'm not sure what you hope to get form this exchange or if you are just upset he didn't want to date you, but whom he flirts with and what he texts is none of your business. I wonder why he is your friend at all. He needs to hide it from you because you act like there is something unmanly and wrong with it....if you didn't, it wouldn't be this big of a deal. I just wonder why he continues to talk to you at all. Stop harassing him. Saying Are you gay? are you gay? Even jokingly is really annoying. Grow up, Grumps Edited October 10, 2015 by Grumpybutfun 2
Author pinkpositive Posted October 10, 2015 Author Posted October 10, 2015 Your immaturity at this astounds me. It is none, and I mean none, of your business what his sexual orientation is. You have no right as a work colleague to harass and taunt him about possibly being gay...you were rude and frankly weird. Being homosexual does not preclude gay men from being men. That is actually very homophobic and unkind. I'm not sure what you hope to get form this exchange or if you are just upset he didn't want to date you, but whom he flirts with and what he texts is none of your business. I wonder why he is your friend at all. He needs to hide it from you because you act like there is something unmanly and wrong with it....of you didn't, it wouldn't be this big of a deal. I just wonder why he continues to talk to you at all. Grow up, Grumps Hi Grumpybutfun : For me this is a big deal cos we are very close to each other and to answer you that I am upset cos he don't want to date me? well I'm in a relationship and me and my friend often go out as a friend only. We're the type of Friend like as if we're sibling. We shared a lot of things and we're open to each other. I just dont get the point "WHY HE NEEDS TO HIDE HIS REAL SELF TO ME AND TO OUR OTHER COLLEAGUES AND FRIENDS".
Grumpybutfun Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Hi Grumpybutfun : For me this is a big deal cos we are very close to each other and to answer you that I am upset cos he don't want to date me? well I'm in a relationship and me and my friend often go out as a friend only. We're the type of Friend like as if we're sibling. We shared a lot of things and we're open to each other. I just dont get the point "WHY HE NEEDS TO HIDE HIS REAL SELF TO ME AND TO OUR OTHER COLLEAGUES AND FRIENDS". You basically said that when you thought he wasn't gay he was completely a man.....as if him being gay makes him less of a man. I cannot fathom how you do not see a disconnect with this...you relentlessly badgering him and then talking about him To someone else (if he is one of your best friends) is just disrespectful. If you also don't know why gays hide their real selves from people who think they aren't real men for being homosexual, then you are in la la land. You can't be open to a person who isn't openminded or who you know has a disrespectful attitude towards gays. Also, if he tells you he isn't gay, and he is your friends, don't base your opinion on a phone exchange that you don't know anything about in context. Be kind and leave him alone. Be his "friend" and stop saying gay men aren't complete men. Agains, grow up...be compassionate, be loyal to your friend and stop thinking that gay men aren't complete men. Leave him alone to come out when He chooses, if he chooses, Grumps
anika99 Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I agree with Grumpy. Your friend's sexual orientation is none of your business. If he his gay then he obviously doesn't want to share that information with you. You sound very immature and homophobic to me. One's sexual preference has nothing to do with one's gender. Being gay or straight doesn't make one more or less of a man. I don't blame your friend for not opening up to you, you don't sound very understanding. 1
Tayla Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Dang!! If thats what friends do...I'd hate to be on the enemy list! I'd blockade myself in that closet and order from Dominoes!! No way would I come out to someone with that attitude. I'd feel like I was the Mole from whack a mole...and gonna get thwapped when I did pop out! Seriously, It completely brought empathy for folks that do end up making a choice to share....Dang, this world has some unkind folks....
Recommended Posts