jgbronc Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Hello all, I am new to this site and wanted a little advice on a situation. I met a woman on an online dating service and we went out on a date at a restaurant of her liking. We instantly had chemistry and there was a definite attraction! When the meal concluded, she asked me if we could rent a movie and go back to my place. So we left her car at the restaurant, hopped in my vehicle and headed to my place. As we were watching the movie, she took her shoes off, put her legs in my lap and allowed me to give her a foot massage. That is as far as it went physically. I liked this girl, am a gentleman, and was not going to blow it by making an aggressive move. When the movie ended, I took her back to her car and told her that I wanted to see her again. The look on her face prompted me to ask what the look was for and she said "guys tell me that all the time and then never call". I then leaned over, gave her a kiss on the lips and told her I would call. I waited for her to drive away before I headed home. Now when I got home, I did something that I never do. I called her. Now I know that this is a no-no because it makes guys look desparate and pathetic but I had to make a point that I would call her. The call lasted only 5 or 6 minutes and the conversation was very light. The next day while she was at work, I left her a voice mail telling her that if she wanted to grab something to eat when she got off of work to give me a call. When she didn't call, I decided to wait another day and call her when I knew she was home. The phone call was awkward at best and she didn't seem interested. Now I may be reading the situation wrong and she may just have been tired from working all night, but all of the optimism that I had had on Monday night was gone by Thursday. So I have decided not to call her or e-mail her at all. I figure I told her I would call (remember she said guys say they will call and never do) and did. Now the ball is in her court. One final note, she is very attractive and talks to like 5 or 6 guys a week. Let me know what you think.
Merin Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 I think theres a good reason why most Guys don't call her again... Jeez.. could she give you anymore of a mixed message?! Sounds to me she is the kind of Girl who likes the "Game" she says she doesn't but yeah me thinks she's full of sh*t.. You called her, gave her what she essentially asked for and now there isn't any challenge there in her mind... Sounds like a flake...
Author jgbronc Posted May 20, 2005 Author Posted May 20, 2005 Merlin, thanks for the reply. Yeah I don't expect to get many positive responses on this one but I figured I would give it a try. Why do all of the hot ones have to be game players????
Merin Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by jgbronc Merlin, thanks for the reply. Yeah I don't expect to get many positive responses on this one but I figured I would give it a try. Why do all of the hot ones have to be game players???? Don't think it has much to do with the "hotness" of an individual.. some people are just Flakes.. Good Looking Flakes but none the less... Good Luck with things
alphamale Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by jgbronc Why do all of the hot ones have to be game players???? because of two reasons: 1. many men are running after them 2. they can get away with it
Author jgbronc Posted May 20, 2005 Author Posted May 20, 2005 guess that is why most guys treat women like dirt!!!
scratch Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by jgbronc guess that is why most guys treat women like dirt!!! Dude, stop being bitter. You should learn something from this unpleasant exchange. Just don't call right away next time. Call in a few days - you won't be breaking your word to her, but you'll give her a few days to think about you. I was in a similar situation last Saturday. I met a girl at around 1 AM and chatted for about 15 mins, during which time she told me how she liked for a man to call the next day. I got her number at about 3 AM when she was leaving. She gave it to me and jokingly said, "Remember what we discussed. You know I like to be called the next day, so don't be a dick and wait a week." I smiled and said, "we'll see." I struggled with it, because if I did call her I'd be a puss, but if I didn't I'd be a game-player. So, I called her at 6 in the morning as I drove home, waking her up and playfully telling her that I didn't want to disappoint her. Then I let her get back to sleep and called her Tuesday night like normal.
Merin Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Dude, stop being bitter. You should learn something from this unpleasant exchange. Just don't call right away next time. Call in a few days - you won't be breaking your word to her, but you'll give her a few days to think about you. I was in a similar situation last Saturday. I met a girl at around 1 AM and chatted for about 15 mins, during which time she told me how she liked for a man to call the next day. I got her number at about 3 AM when she was leaving. She gave it to me and jokingly said, "Remember what we discussed. You know I like to be called the next day, so don't be a dick and wait a week." I smiled and said, "we'll see." I struggled with it, because if I did call her I'd be a puss, but if I didn't I'd be a game-player. So, I called her at 6 in the morning as I drove home, waking her up and playfully telling her that I didn't want to disappoint her. Then I let her get back to sleep and called her Tuesday night like normal. See personally I hate it when a Guy asks for my number then is lame and waits 3 days to call.. WTF! LOL If you ask for my number obviously you like me right? IF I gave you my number then yeah good to go that I like you.. so DON'T wait 3 damn days to call me.. I don't expect him to call me on his way home or 3 hours later... but being orginal and calling the next evening is a bonus IMO
lindya Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by jgbronc guess that is why most guys treat women like dirt!!! Well, whatever that lady you met had - it sounds like it's contagious.
alphamale Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by Merin See personally I hate it when a Guy asks for my number then is lame and waits 3 days to call.. WTF! so what is wrong with 3 days? I sometimes will wait 2 wks to call them. If the woman really likes you she will still be happy to hear from u. LOL If you ask for my number obviously you like me right? Not necessarily...sometimes we are married or dating someone and we just ask for the challenge of getting the digits. To see if we can, ya know? I've gotten #s from women and crumpled them up and thrown them in the garbage upon exiting the establishement. IF I gave you my number then yeah good to go that I like you Not always true, most men have had the nasty ass experience of getting a womans # and then calling her repeated and being blown off. Many women give you their # to be nice and get rid of you. ... but being orginal and calling the next evening is a bonus IMO yeah, right, feed me some more krap!
Merin Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale so what is wrong with 3 days? I sometimes will wait 2 wks to call them. If the woman really likes you she will still be happy to hear from u. Not necessarily...sometimes we are married or dating someone and we just ask for the challenge of getting the digits. To see if we can, ya know? I've gotten #s from women and crumpled them up and thrown them in the garbage upon exiting the establishement. Not always true, most men have had the nasty ass experience of getting a womans # and then calling her repeated and being blown off. Many women give you their # to be nice and get rid of you. yeah, right, feed me some more krap! Wait 2 weeks to call me and I'll say Who is this? *Click* hell no I'm not just happy to hear from you.. f'ck that! I don't give my number to Guys I have zero interest in AND I've never given my number to a Guy who didn't call... For me.. (notice Alpha I'm saying ME not everyone) IF a Guy is orginal and cool like that.. yeah it's a bonus.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Well I've called the next day and I've waited up to 4 days to call. Never seemed to make much of a difference. Never call that day though. That's definitely desperation.
lindya Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Wait 2 weeks to call me and I'll say Who is this? *Click* hell no I'm not just happy to hear from you.. f'ck that! Agreed. Any guy who waits 2 weeks has simply found your number in the bottom of his pocket and is calling out of boredom/curiosity. A passionless state of affairs, to be avoided at all costs.
scratch Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by Merin For me.. (notice Alpha I'm saying ME not everyone) IF a Guy is orginal and cool like that.. yeah it's a bonus. Why would you give someone advice based on YOU when you know that you are unsual in this regard? Wouldn't be more helpful to advise a guy based on the behavior of MOST women? Moreover, I suspect that if you thought about the guys you liked the most, you'll find that they weren't the ones who were the most attentive. You probably chalked it up to coincidence. Don't.
Merin Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Why would you give someone advice based on YOU when you know that you are unsual in this regard? Wouldn't be more helpful to advise a guy based on the behavior of MOST women? Moreover, I suspect that if you thought about the guys you liked the most, you'll find that they weren't the ones who were the most attentive. You probably chalked it up to coincidence. Don't. Excuse me? Why would I give advice based on MY EXPERIENCE and Who I am? WTF? Why would I give advice based on anything other than MY experience? BTW My other GF's are also this way.. so when you say MOST Women, well that would be YOUR own experience not mine. Secondly... You're welcome to speculate all you want to on what I LIKE in a Guy but again that would be based on YOU not on ME.. so don't presume to know what or whom I was the most interested in.
Author jgbronc Posted May 20, 2005 Author Posted May 20, 2005 I also have a theory on women blowing guys off after being interested. Think about it. Women are approached all the time by guys looking to date them. So even if they are interested in you, they try to blow you off. I am guessing that 95% of the time, the guy says thanks for a nice evening, have a nice life. But the guy who sticks around is someone that may be a candidate for the long haul!!
scratch Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Excuse me? Why would I give advice based on MY EXPERIENCE and Who I am? WTF? Why would I give advice based on anything other than MY experience? BTW My other GF's are also this way.. so when you say MOST Women, well that would be YOUR own experience not mine. Secondly... You're welcome to speculate all you want to on what I LIKE in a Guy but again that would be based on YOU not on ME.. so don't presume to know what or whom I was the most interested in. If you got off by dressing up in a chicken costume and hitting your boyfriend with a rubber hammer, and someone asked you how to please a woman, would you tell him what got you off or what was likely to get an average woman off? If you're telling me that you don't regularly discuss with your girlfriends whether some guy likes them, and whether he'll call, that would suprise me. I wasn't speculating about what you like, I was asking you to be introspective about it. If such reflection leads to a conclusion other than the one I suspected, share that. It may be more enlightening for everyone that just crying "you don't know me!"
Merin Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by scratch If you got off by dressing up in a chicken costume and hitting your boyfriend with a rubber hammer, and someone asked you how to please a woman, would you tell him what got you off or what was likely to get an average woman off? If you're telling me that you don't regularly discuss with your girlfriends whether some guy likes them, and whether he'll call, that would suprise me. I wasn't speculating about what you like, I was asking you to be introspective about it. If such reflection leads to a concusion other than the one I suspected, share that. It may be more enlightening for everyone that just crying "you don't know me!" Whatever I wasn't "Crying" you don't know me, I was responding to your reply about what I LIKE. I never said I don't talk with my GF's or Guy friend for that matter about thier relationships, what I was referring to was in saying My feelings on a Guy calling me when he gets the number is shared by my GF's If someone asked me how to please a Woman would I tell them what pleases me... Yes I would.. I cannot speculate on what other people like/dislike. AND to clear it up for you NO I'm not all about Guys who like to play games and there hasn't been a single time that I met a Guy and he acted uninterested in me that I was alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll about giving him my number. I give my number to people I like and they have an returned interest in me.. I don't play games and I don't like people who do. Life is to freakin short
alphamale Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by lindya Agreed. Any guy who waits 2 weeks has simply found your number in the bottom of his pocket and is calling out of boredom/curiosity. A passionless state of affairs, to be avoided at all costs. bull-oney LINDYA!!! if a chick really likes a guy (operative word is "really") then he can call her 2 months later and most of the time they'll go out with him. all he needs is a good excuse like he had major surgery or his dog died or he had another go with his ex woman for a few weeks. don't gimme your krap!
scratch Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Whatever I wasn't "Crying" you don't know me, I was responding to your reply about what I LIKE. What people like and what makes them like another person romantically isn't always the same thing. This stuff gets pretty nuanced. Originally posted by Merin If someone asked me how to please a Woman would I tell them what pleases me... Yes I would.. I cannot speculate on what other people like/dislike. You do realize that the most common questions posed on this board ask people to speculate on what others are feeling, do you not? Nobody cares what you or I like - they are looking for our insight into what the person with whom they are dealing may like. If you don't feel you can offer that, perhaps you should let others post without cluttering the thread. Originally posted by Merin AND to clear it up for you NO I'm not all about Guys who like to play games and there hasn't been a single time that I met a Guy and he acted uninterested in me that I was alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll about giving him my number. I give my number to people I like and they have an returned interest in me.. I don't play games and I don't like people who do. Life is to freakin short Sweetie, I have some bad news for you. Unless you met a guy and he said "let's go to my place and screw," he was playing games on some level.
lindya Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 You can't define the chemistry that attracts you to someone. If it's there, it doesn't matter whether they call you five minutes after you met, you're still going to be attracted to them. I prefer it if a guy waits a day or two, though. You want the pleasure of that anticipation. If they leave it too long, you end up thinking you were mistaken about the chemistry. By the time they do get around to calling, the initial buzz of having met someone you liked, who seemed to like you back, has vanished. Conversely, if someone you don't fancy tries to play games in an attempt to get you interested, it just makes you think "Oh dear."
tanbark813 Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by jgbronc As we were watching the movie, she took her shoes off, put her legs in my lap and allowed me to give her a foot massage. That is as far as it went physically. I liked this girl, am a gentleman, and was not going to blow it by making an aggressive move. First mistake. Originally posted by jgbronc Now when I got home, I did something that I never do. I called her. Second mistake. Live and learn...
Merin Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by scratch What people like and what makes them like another person romantically isn't always the same thing. This stuff gets pretty nuanced. You do realize that the most common questions posed on this board ask people to speculate on what others are feeling, do you not? Nobody cares what you or I like - they are looking for our insight into what the person with whom they are dealing may like. If you don't feel you can offer that, perhaps you should let others post without cluttering the thread. Sweetie, I have some bad news for you. Unless you met a guy and he said "let's go to my place and screw," he was playing games on some level. Sweetie? Ya know what.. to prevent what did you say? ME cluttering the thread I'm not going to say anything more to you except, don't call me sweetie, and if I didn't feel I was offering anything helpful or insightful I wouldn't be here. To the OP.. some people play games.. if she isn't interested in dating a Guy who is good to her, move on.
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