Gloria25 Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Hello LS, I guess a few peeps have followed my struggles in dating - especially the recent year of pure hell I went through with another "frog". But, while it's too early to say, I am making some connections and found some potentials this time around. And yes, I'm sorta scarred from my recent experience, so really proceeding with a bit of caution here. I guess I'm posting this for two reasons: 1 - For people without hope - know that sometimes you gotta kiss some frogs and deal with some crap to be set up for something better. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. 2 - For people who been there, done that...Any experiences you would like to share about being in some terrible situations only to come out for something better? Lastly, I think a lot of it is getting past your "barriers". I, before my horrible year of torture, was putting myself back out there and made some good connections, but put them aside...So, just like how I was putting myself back out there and "poof" doors opened up, like now, I'm putting myself out there and again "poof" doors open up. DON'T limit yourself...push forward, even when you're not feeling it. Oh, and don't stick around if someone isn't treating you right. "He's just not that into you" rings true. If a guy isn't doing/acting a certain way, don't spend a year trying to figure it out. MOVE ON 5
Qboro90 Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I think the problem a lot of people have is expecting to find Mr or Miss Amazing within a short period of time once your back in or involved in the dating world. You could date two dozen people in a year and none of them can be the right one for you. That's normal. If marriage lasts a lifetime (or so they say) then we should expect it to take years at the very least to finally find that person with whom you think would be a great partner. "I've been doing online dating for 6 months and everyone who I'm matched with is awful!! What's wrong with me!?" Lol. Cmon 6 months? Give it time. We are such an anxious and immediate gratification type culture that we don't realize that 99% of the people you meet/date, won't work out. Being ok with that, is something that most aren't able to comprehend. 1
Stage5Clinger Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 "He's just not that into you" rings true. If a guy isn't doing/acting a certain way, don't spend a year trying to figure it out. MOVE ON I think it takes getting run over a few times to learn this lesson. Glad I learned it, I'll next a hoe in a minute. 1
Author Gloria25 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Posted October 10, 2015 I think the problem a lot of people have is expecting to find Mr or Miss Amazing within a short period of time once your back in or involved in the dating world. You could date two dozen people in a year and none of them can be the right one for you. That's normal. If marriage lasts a lifetime (or so they say) then we should expect it to take years at the very least to finally find that person with whom you think would be a great partner. "I've been doing online dating for 6 months and everyone who I'm matched with is awful!! What's wrong with me!?" Lol. Cmon 6 months? Give it time. We are such an anxious and immediate gratification type culture that we don't realize that 99% of the people you meet/date, won't work out. Being ok with that, is something that most aren't able to comprehend. Yeah, but trust me...not every guy I see is "aawww, the One". Trust me, in this year of torture, I did venture out a bit on/off OLD and met some more frogs. And I'm a big girl, I don't put all my hopes and dreams into someone "just because"...trust me, I've seen the chicks who put endless selfies on FB of some dude they just met and hearts and love and all that and in a few months, no more selfies and old selfies gone - easy come, easy go. They repeat the same cycle with the next guy they meet in a week or few days. I'm just happy, that this time I stepped out, I ran across a potential "Prince"...perfect timing. I'm not sure how it will turn out, but am hopeful - definitely haven't had this feeling in the whole year of torture I've just been through. It's nice to have this feeling again
LivingWaterPlease Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Gloria, what is it about this guy and the connection you have together that has you so enthused? It's great to read about a relationship on LS that's doing so well, even if you've known each other a short time only!
Author Gloria25 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Posted October 10, 2015 Gloria, what is it about this guy and the connection you have together that has you so enthused? Well, age, location, stage in life, looks, fitness, career, education - all biggies that been hard to find for me. It's like when I've met other people, they'll have like one, two, or three things - but missing other things and then you gotta do the whole "oh, should I overlook X, Y, or Z"? 1
LivingWaterPlease Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Well, age, location, stage in life, looks, fitness, career, education - all biggies that been hard to find for me. Yeah, I get you on this one (wondering if you should overlook something that's not on the list of who he is but that you've considered important.) And you must really like his personality, guess that goes without saying. Fantastic! So glad to read this......that's a long list of great qualities to find in one person! You met through OLD?
Author Gloria25 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Posted October 10, 2015 Yeah, I get you on this one (wondering if you should overlook something that's not on the list of who he is but that you've considered important.) And you must really like his personality, guess that goes without saying. Fantastic! So glad to read this......that's a long list of great qualities to find in one person! You met through OLD? Yep, OLD... So far looking good on paper...Hoping it'll be a home run. With age and experience you sorta get better at knowing upfront when you see what you're looking for. That's why some people think that you're dismissive too quick, but it's that you just know what you want and if you're not seeing it, no reason to stick around to find out and/or give it a chance. Last year I kinda feel into a "give it a chance" mode, but nah, learned that after a while you gotta throw in the towel.
readynow Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Congrats Glo! Keep us updated! I know I'll be told to shut up but please, practice some rules! Even though they may deny, many good quality guys want a woman that proves some kind of a challenge, someone to inspire them to put in the work! I'm not saying play games, but give him something to look forward to! Put down the phone, no marathon texting matches, no cancelling dates with your friends because he showed up and no venting about your past dating woes. That's for us at LS Remember, an easy lay is an easy dump. I'm old, I know 1
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