nicololi Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 (edited) It will be 3 weeks tomorrow since he broke up with me. He never gave me a reason why besides starting in March he had doubts although we talked about marriage and having kids together in June/July. I knew he was sad a month ago but I thought it was for other reasons and he never told me his true feelings. I feel like I've just been strung along while he healed for half a year. He said that he couldn't keep trying/pretending to love me because he felt no spark, passion, connection - nothing - when we talked, hugged, kissed, had sex etc. but he said I did nothing wrong to cause this and it just kept occurring. I asked him so many questions and he just kept saying "idk". I keep thinking of all the fights that I started and the what ifs. What if I didn't appreciate him enough? What if I didn't do something right? What if I pushed him to hard to live with me? What if I yelled too much or nagged? What is normal for a relationship? He never communicated first when something was wrong - it was always me. It was my 3rd and his 1st. I'm 23 and he is 24. We dated for 3.5 years through college. I always had a feeling he would dump me after college deep down inside I feel like it's my fault he gave up. I never gave up on him though. How did he realize we weren't right for each other before me? Most of the fights in our relationship were because of HIM. And I keep picturing him thinking I was a horrible girlfriend that was intolerable because he said "it shouldn't be this hard to love you". I thought we were happy...he wouldn't give me a reason why he stopped loving me so it makes me think "wow I must be awful in some sort of way". What type of girl does he want? The opposite of me? Does he want a fresh start? How have you all coped with these feelings? Edited October 9, 2015 by nicololi
Qboro90 Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 Asking yourself these questions isn't going to do you any good and there most likely isn't a clear cut answer he would be able to give you anyways. The truth of the matter is that sometimes people just fall out of love for no good reason at all. Just because he doesn't love you now doesn't mean he never loved you or had feelings for you. I'm sure when you started dating those feelings were there. Sadly tho people do evolve and change and there's nothing you did or didn't do that caused him to feel this way. The only thing you can do is keep telling yourself that it's not your fault and it's not his fault, people can just grow apart. It's part of growing up. You're not going to make him fall back in love with you by doing anything or saying anything to him now. No contact and spend your time and energy elsewhere until he isn't on your mind so frequently. Eventually he won't be on your mind at all. It takes time, but the key is to not harp on things that you cannot control or change.
Author nicololi Posted October 9, 2015 Author Posted October 9, 2015 It's hard not knowing the person you used to for so many years. I don't even know who I was dating those last 6 months if he wasn't even happy with me. It makes me feel empty and confused. He has evolved in some way without me and I can't stop thinking how happy he is.
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