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Friendship and enmeshment


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Posted

I have a friend for 20 years off and on that we have so much fun together, we are both artists and very creative so we vibe together. The problem I am seeing is we are too emeshed. I find her saying things like " we are the same to people" "you and I both...." and her chiming in very judgemental towards me. I believe that friendships should have boundries. Is it possible to have a best friend that is not so emeshed and co dependent? I find when you have close friendship with people or family members, it breeds co dependency. I do undersand in this life you have to balance inter dependency and find a way it works. As no man walks alone, but I am NOT the clingy type and don't like clingy people.

Posted

You have let it go on for 20 years so the die is pretty much cast. This type thing has to be micromanaged on a statement-by-statement basis, like when she's getting all philosophical about the deep inner meaning or you two being one, you laugh it off and contradict her with a little humor. At this point, the mud is too thick to make much headway backpeddling. So limit your time and make sure you cut off any free access she has like "dropping by."

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