RecentChange Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Curious how many of you are in a long term relationship? If you are how does your partner rank with your list? I never made list or ranked importantance. It was looks and sexual chemistry but first drew me to him. A great sense of humor shared values and intelligence kept me. But as far as the list goes I have to be physically attracted to them. I have to find them intelligent otherwise I won't respect them. And I enjoy a good sense of humor. And I do like to have shared interest. Unlike the post above I'm not a girl to spend time picking out my shampoo and I do know the difference between a panhead and a knucklehead (Harley is in the garage, but I know my way around cars better). I've enjoyed a number of restore projects working on cars with my dude. I can't date a guy who doesn't know how to drive a stick shift 1
Giggle Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 (edited) Yeaaah preferences change because when I was early 20s I would have put sexual compatibility at the bottom and then I spent 9 years with somebody who made me feel like I needed to get a grip on my hormones because he wasn't interested. That is misery. At 36 I'm going.. Intelligence Humor Sexual compatibility Values Interests Looks Somebody who is smart and funny is sexy. So somebody I wouldn't normally think is yummy to look at becomes it because of their personality. Sexual compatibility means nothing if I can't stand them when they open their mouth and stupid stuff comes out. I've been there too. Edited October 10, 2015 by Giggle 1
autumnnight Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Yeah, like I said: CURRENTLY this is where your priorities lie. In time, you'll find they will change. Things evolve and transform. What is vital and urgent to you now, will be remote and inconsequential in time. Obviously you didn't spend years in a sexless marriage....or you wouldn't judge 2
todreaminblue Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 Curious how many of you are in a long term relationship? If you are how does your partner rank with your list? I never made list or ranked importantance. It was looks and sexual chemistry but first drew me to him. A great sense of humor shared values and intelligence kept me. But as far as the list goes I have to be physically attracted to them. I have to find them intelligent otherwise I won't respect them. And I enjoy a good sense of humor. And I do like to have shared interest. Unlike the post above I'm not a girl to spend time picking out my shampoo and I do know the difference between a panhead and a knucklehead (Harley is in the garage, but I know my way around cars better). I've enjoyed a number of restore projects working on cars with my dude. I can't date a guy who doesn't know how to drive a stick shift havent been in a long term relationship for nearly a decade now......but my last long term relationship lasted fifteen years what killed my long term relationship was a difference in values direction and beliefs......and i think actually courage saved me........courage from him to let me go to admit the truth.....however hard that truth was for him to say and for me to listen to..even though i saw myself as weak at the time......i realize i did the best thing ever....by not fighting for us...........so that is why i think courage......is the most important..and unless i know a guy who exhibits that kind of courage and my personal list out there in spades........i wont be in another relationship that is long term....there are guys i know who have those attributes.......deb 1
autumnnight Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 I spent most of my marriage feeling like a defective freak for wanting intimacy. The idea that my high ranking of sexual chemistry makes me immature and shallow is rather annoying. 1
Popsicle Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 1) Looks/Physique 2) Sexual Chemistry 3) Shared Values & Beliefs 4) Sense of Humor 5) Intelligence 6) Shared Interests
Giggle Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Like a defective freak. I love it. That's pretty much exactly. And if you haven't experienced such an imbalance, you can't understand how soul sucking it is.
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Obviously you didn't spend years in a sexless marriage....or you wouldn't judge I spent 13 years in a marriage without sex, actually. 2nd Husband. Present husband has level II diabetes. How does 5 years grab you? And where am I judging? I haven't condemned anyone or made criticism, not even implied. I'm just telling it like it is.
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