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Most Confusing Girl I've Ever Met


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Posted

Quick back story. I'm recently divorced, was separated for 17 months and now officially divorced the last 4. This is the first girl I've attempted to date since the end of my marriage.

 

So about a month ago me and this girl exchanged numbers I'm 28 she's 25. The first two weeks we hung out 4 times in 8 days and she was blowing up my phone non stop. She even came by my place a few times and initiated making out too. Now the last two weeks we've only seen each other one time and she's down to literally texting me 2-3 times a day.

 

Here's where it gets confusing. If I send her anything flirty or ask her about hanging out again she just completely avoids the subject. However, she continues to talk to me???

 

For instance the other day she talked to me on the phone for an hour, the following day she called me when she left work, and when I finally decided I was tired of getting the run around and didn't reach out to her for one single day, the following morning she text me good morning before I was even at my office! Yet that afternoon when again I approached the topic of hanging out she texted me back something else, didn't answer the question and then that night texted me that she was going to bed....

 

So this girl literally wants to talk to me everyday, usually will initiate a conversation, but if I ask her to do anything she just completely ignores it. What the heck gives??? I have enough friends I'm not looking for more, I'm looking to date, and I just don't get why she feels this need to talk to me everyday if she's not willing to do something. Something doesn't add up.

 

I seriously can't tell if she's interested or being real flaky because I can make a case for both sides when it comes to this. I just don't want to play games at this stage in my life, but again I went one day without reaching out to her and she reaches out to me first thing the following morning...

Any thoughts?

Posted (edited)

While I do not like the term "friendzoned" this seems to be what's happened here. Please don't make yourself crazy with the reasons why ... This is your first experience out of the gate post divorce so to speak ...be thankful it was a fairly innocuous one. You can do the slow fade ...OR ...be honest with her that "look it was fun hanging out with you and you're really nice but I'm looking for a relationship and I get the feeling you're not interested so let's part as friends"

 

She might be hanging on thinking she doesn't want to hurt your feelings ...let you down easily ...and might be relieved you said something.

 

Good you waited a bit post divorce before you dated. Smart man. Best wishes to ya.

 

Go Bucs! ...I love that part of Florida

Edited by StocksnBlondes
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Posted

Any thoughts?

 

If you want to stop talking to her, block her. She's playing you off.

 

When she comes around asking why you blocked her, tell her you dont' appreciate her gaslighting you when you asked her a direct question.

Posted
While I do not like the term "friendzoned" this seems to be what's happened here. Please don't make yourself crazy with the reasons why ... This is your first experience out of the gate post divorce so to speak ...be thankful it was a fairly innocuous one. You can do the slow fade ...OR ...be honest with her that "look it was fun hanging out with you and you're really nice but I'm looking for a relationship and I get the feeling you're not interested so let's part as friends"

 

She might be hanging on thinking she doesn't want to hurt your feelings ...let you down easily ...and might be relieved you said something.

 

Good you waited a bit post divorce before you dated. Smart man. Best wishes to ya.

 

Go Bucs! ...I love that part of Florida

 

Yep.

 

He's essentially the same as one of her friend girls now.

Posted

I had a girl do almost the exact same thing with me not too long ago. Went out a couple of times, she initiated kissing a few times on the second meet and then she would avoid all questions about meeting up and again, yet continue to talk to me.

 

It's frustrating but if I were you I'd be blunt with her. If you ask her a question you should expect a response. Even if that response isn't what you want to hear it's still courteous of her to be honest with you.

 

Be blunt, tell her what you think and don't be apologetic about it. She's the one playing stupid games and acting like a child here.

  • Like 1
Posted

She has decided she isn't romantically interested. Considering the intense beginning and the making out, I think it would be nice of her to tell you. But maybe she's wimpy :)

 

If you are not interested in being friends only, I'd just tell her or fade. I'm not normally a fan of the fade, but she isn't being very up front or fair either.

Posted
Quick back story. I'm recently divorced, was separated for 17 months and now officially divorced the last 4. This is the first girl I've attempted to date since the end of my marriage.

 

So about a month ago me and this girl exchanged numbers I'm 28 she's 25. The first two weeks we hung out 4 times in 8 days and she was blowing up my phone non stop. She even came by my place a few times and initiated making out too. Now the last two weeks we've only seen each other one time and she's down to literally texting me 2-3 times a day.

 

Here's where it gets confusing. If I send her anything flirty or ask her about hanging out again she just completely avoids the subject. However, she continues to talk to me???

 

For instance the other day she talked to me on the phone for an hour, the following day she called me when she left work, and when I finally decided I was tired of getting the run around and didn't reach out to her for one single day, the following morning she text me good morning before I was even at my office! Yet that afternoon when again I approached the topic of hanging out she texted me back something else, didn't answer the question and then that night texted me that she was going to bed....

 

So this girl literally wants to talk to me everyday, usually will initiate a conversation, but if I ask her to do anything she just completely ignores it. What the heck gives??? I have enough friends I'm not looking for more, I'm looking to date, and I just don't get why she feels this need to talk to me everyday if she's not willing to do something. Something doesn't add up.

 

I seriously can't tell if she's interested or being real flaky because I can make a case for both sides when it comes to this. I just don't want to play games at this stage in my life, but again I went one day without reaching out to her and she reaches out to me first thing the following morning...

Any thoughts?

 

Sounds to me , she's keeping her options open ! Just giving you enough , but not enough to make it serious enough for you two to be exclusive !

My advice would be to just ask her where she sees you two ! Are you two a item , are you a friend ! If you confront her she will have to answer , I'd ring her and get to the bottom of it then you will know

Posted

I wouldnt know what to make of this either. My guess would be she might have something else going on with someone but does want to loose contact with you in case that doesnt work out. So fallback guy/backburner

The way i see this is if i decide that im not romantically interested in someone i wont make an effort to text them good morning and stuff. I mean i dont text all my friends good morning. So i wouldnt say she friendzoned you completely just moved you to the backburner. It is annoying i know. I had a guy doing this a few days ago. Contstantly messaging , asking about my day but becoming vague as soon as i mention a date. I got frustrated and didnt reply his last - vague, excuse making, bs -message. Havent heard from him since.

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Posted

I appreciate all the replies, and wanted to give another small update.

 

This girl is insane and I've had enough. We went all weekend without talking before I finally caved and texted her Sunday evening. We then had about an hour texting conversation which ended in her randomly telling both me and my pet goodnight (really weird because we didn't talk about our pets)

 

Then Monday comes and neither of us hear from each other, BUT I wake up this morning at 6:20 to see a text from her at 5:45 am telling me she was up early.... She shot me one other text the rest of the day and that was it.... What girl texts a dude at 5:45 am if she's not interested, yet she does that but then disappears the rest of the day? I feel like I'm being played at this point and if I had any self respect for myself I'd just ignore her at this point, unless she finally wants to meet up again. Good idea??

Posted

Yup, plenty more available women out there, OP and you will see this just as soon as you stop waiting for the unavailable ones to respond and go meet more people ;)

Posted

I've met women like this before.

coincidentally after my divorce also.

They are time wasters/manipulators/attention seekers (i got flagged for using the other term).

 

you could ignore them but they think they have you now so they won't go away.

They need the ego boost from knowing they have you on the hook.

 

so when they text you, you are "busy".

make stuff up. but wait at least 3 hrs before responding.

 

Ask for nudes.

Tell them "movie night at my place, wear something sexy. ;)"

if that don't work just tel them "unless you have something to offer me, stop wasting my time"

 

you could block them but it isn't permanent.

Not with my provider.

and it's a band-aid because i've had women pop up out of the blue anywhere from 6months to a yr and each time i fell for it like a dumbass.

 

these days women like this just know not to try & waste my time cause they know just from how I am now that if I get them alone, i'm going to try & sleep with them.

Posted
I just don't want to play games at this stage in my life

 

Then don't. Simple.

 

I met a guy a few years ago who would do this. It's honestly the most baffling behavior, because it doesn't make any sense to those of us who are actually seeking a dating partner or a relationship.

 

It went on for a couple of months. I'd mention meeting up, and he'd either not respond or change the subject. BUT he would text me every... single... morning, "Hello, gorgeous!" WTF? Eventually, I wised up and stopped talking to him altogether.

 

Some folks just want a digital pen-pal - someone to talk to when they get lonely, but have no intention of ever meeting up. I don't understand it at all, and I don't ever want to.

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