xplosiv Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 Hey guys, I actually created this account because I was going to make a post several months back asking for advice. My girlfriend at the time was breaking up with me for no clear reason last year, and I tried my very best to get another chance. It happened about half way through last year. Me being 24 at the time, and she was 20. We had been dating for about a year, and were previously best friends for about 3 years... she was the one to first propose that we be girlfriend/boyfriend. But I refused, for months and months until I finally caved... she was very valuable to me, and I knew she was fickle. She would eventually try and call it off because of her inexperience and lack of responsibility... but she persisted, and I eventually caved. A year later out of the blue, she started making arguments out of thin air, and causing fights for no apparent reason in the weeks leading up to the breakup. She then used the fighting that she was causing as an excuse to break up with me, which I could not believe. I was so angry, hurt, and frustrated... she promised me so much and I put in so much effort for her. She had become distant in this time, and started going out with friends who drink and party all the time when this wasn't her baseline behavior. She started acting out after everything I had done for her which was probably the most hurtful time of my life. Her reasons included many of the typical excuses we get, at the receiving end of a "GIGS" break up. "I need to find myself" "I want to explore" "I want to get myself back" As pathetic as it sounds, I would have done anything to get our relationship back. After getting those pathetic excuses, I asked her why she had to break up with me to do those things... to me, they were all just excuses to go find another guy, after she had promised me there would never be anyone else. ... I begged for weeks and weeks for her to give me another chance. I didn't know what to do without her. I came up with all sorts of arguments including: - the fact that I gave her a chance in the beginning of the relationship - just because we were going through a rough patch doesn't mean it's going to be like that forever - why are you doing so much for people who don't do anything for you - you said you would stay loyal - PLEASE She continued being extremely rude to me, persisting that there was NO CHANCE we would ever be together again now or in the future. She was not in love with me anymore. I suspected that she had already been seeing someone while I was begging her to come back to me and demanded answers, and even lied about having another girlfriend months down the road (just to see if she would anounce that she had a new boyfriend soon after - she did, just days later)... that confirmed all my suspicions about her. I could not believe the nerve she had. She changed her profile picture on facebook to a picture of them kissing just to try and spite me. Now I must admit that I said some pretty evil things to her through text and then left it at that. I won't repeat them here, but I was at my last straws and was utterly devasted during the time. I could not function for weeks. Fast forward to a year later. I found out she got cheated on (which was rightly deserved), lost her job, other "friends" that she started partying with at the time of the break up, and in general is having a pretty ****ty time in life. Just weeks ago she contacted me out of the blue, trying to catch up but I brushed it off... I couldn't care less anymore. After having my heart absolutely ripped out of my chest, I decided to take up a new hobby which has turned into a passion and brought me a lot of success, friends, and a brand new girlfriend who is proud to have me, and I her. I love someone else after I thought the world was ending for me. In the end, I realized that my "loss" was actually a gain... I got a more attractive girlfriend, I am "fulfilled" and live a happy, passionate life. I've gotten friends and a new best friend who motivates and inspires me to do better things in life. I have goals I am working towards with my girlfriend. In my last relationship, I was blind to the fact I was being held back, and dragged down by her immature mindset. I'm glad she got a taste of her own medicine. Every once in a while I CRINGE at how little I thought of myself back then, and get a kick out of the fact she screwed herself up. She put on quite a bit of weight which I admit I did laugh at (since at the breakup she told me she thought I became unattractive -- which at the time was true). Anyway, for those people who are going through a break up, I urge you guys to move on. Even if you do decide to get back with someone after they called it off to go and "explore" or other BS excuse, they will always be looking to upgrade. Don't settle for less than what you deserve. 6
Author xplosiv Posted October 31, 2015 Author Posted October 31, 2015 Thank you for this. No problem I think the sooner people realize that it happens for a reason, the better off they'll be. If you really decide you want an ex back, it will come with more baggage than before the breakup... move on and upgrade!
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