Is it normal for the guy to stop picking up the tabs after four or five dates?

[losangelena]

I do not need a woman to pay for the dates to show me that she is interested. Actions speak louder then words.

 

 

Don't play games.

 

 

Pick up the phone when I call. I want to hear her voice. Texts, what texts, I don't need no stinkin' texts. Texting shows no effort. Going out with me, being in a relationship with me, doing recreational activities with me. I don't need no women paying for my dates.

 

 

My wife, when we started dating would brown bag breakfast for me when we traveled to work together.

 

 

Her moma trained her well.

 

That's nice. I never said anything about playing games. I'm saying the same thing as a lot of other posters on here; not sure why you're singling me out to quote.

 

It's clear that there's a wide spectrum of opinions that go along with this issue. Glad you found someone and something that works for you!

[joseb]

OP, as to your original question, no it's nothing to worry about.

Actually, reading your subsequent posts it sounds like you have paid for parts of earlier dates anyway, and one-way Netflix, so really, I don't see it as having changed really.

 

The only small suddestion I would add is perhaps you could have offered to pa in full.

But really, I think your original post makes you sound a bit entitled than you actually are.

 

Tldr; nothing to worry about

[Tobin]

Don't get me wrong, I usually give off an impression of an independent woman and I'm not a spoiled brat who believes that men should ALWAYS pay for dates, but I feel like men should still pay for MOST of the dates during early stages of dating.

 

You may give off the impression of an independent woman but you're not.

 

If you were you wouldn't expect him to pay the bill most of the time during the early stages of dating, or any other time.

 

I mean, why should he?

 

One good reason will suffice.

[salparadise]

Its funny to see that women want men to pay because that shows he respects them and respects women's company. Aren't women receiving the same honor, to have the men's company?

 

This hits close to the core of the matter. In a similar thread a month or two ago a woman actually said this in so many words... that her bf should always pay, and she felt that was perfectly equitable because he was receiving the benefit of being in her company.

 

I almost puked.

[salparadise]

it's normal for a cheapskate who isn't willing to put his best foot forward into dating.

 

It's also interesting that dissent isn't entirely a subset of one gender. Now I'm wondering what other attitudes and demographics correlate. At least when the benefactor has the attitude (assuming no strings attached) it can be viewed as altruistic... but when the recipient holds it as an expectation, it seems self-serving and just reeks of entitlement.

 

I'm surprised at Art Critic for making such a derogatory generalization... thought he was more open-minded.

[Art_Critic]

It's also interesting that dissent isn't entirely a subset of one gender. Now I'm wondering what other attitudes and demographics correlate. At least when the benefactor has the attitude (assuming no strings attached) it can be viewed as altruistic... but when the recipient holds it as an expectation, it seems self-serving and just reeks of entitlement.

 

I'm surprised at Art Critic for making such a derogatory generalization... thought he was more open-minded.

 

It answered the OP's question without getting into too many semantics..

 

I've always been the type of guy who picked up the tab..always..regardless.. I think part of putting my best foot forward is footing the bill for courting a woman, after all isn't it instinctive that we show a woman we can provide for her ?

 

While my wife and I were were dating she would cook on occasion at her house but she let me pick up the check when we went out.. cool with me as that is more or less what I wanted and needed.

 

I do think when a guy stops paying he is a cheapskate, he certainly isn't courting her the way I would, I also think any guy who makes a big deal about the cost of a bunch of dates is also cheap.. A woman has costs as well.. especially when they have children that have to have sitters for when you take them out..

 

I have paid for more than a couple of sitters for the women I dated as well..

A good baby sitter can cost 60-80 bucks for an full evening out, what kind of message are you sending if you also make her pay for her meal too ?

 

Exactly... and there won't be a second date...