sadpanda3 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 As stated above. Did you ever feel guilty for standing up for yourself? Did you ever feel guilty about enforcing boundaries? Or for getting angry? Or for not being able to shut up and let him/her do whatever they want?
SammySammy Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 No. Absolutely not. When I was younger I may have been a little hesitant to set boundaries, but never remorseful once I had. Now, I feel that setting boundaries and standards are necessary and I don't hesitate to do it quickly with whoever. I don't care. I refuse to allow people to mistreat me. No guilt whatsoever. 3
Taramere Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Guilty, not exactly. Sad about the consequences of imposing boundaries...sometimes. We don't live in an ideal world where you impose your boundary and the other person responds by shaking you by the hand and saying "well done, you!" There's a price to saying no, just as there's a price to saying yes. People feeling offended, getting angry or going a bit cold on you for a while is sometimes the cost. You can't win them all. 4
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 As stated above. Did you ever feel guilty for standing up for yourself? Did you ever feel guilty about enforcing boundaries? Or for getting angry? Or for not being able to shut up and let him/her do whatever they want? I feel guilty for having behaved in the opposite manner. Disgraceful. I know better now. 2
Tayla Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 yes, contingent on how it was conveyed and the dynamics around it. Guilt can be healthy and a reminder to re-adjust and access the circumstance and the person to whom we are in contact for creating such stance. feeling angry is one thing...but going all out rage to a person without pause can have its aftermath effect. Words once said cannot be taken back.... 1
froz Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 Yeah I know what you mean OP. There is this sense of feeling a little uncomfortable when you stand your ground. But looking back, when you do it's always worth it. 2
Chris516 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 As stated above. Did you ever feel guilty for standing up for yourself? Did you ever feel guilty about enforcing boundaries? Or for getting angry? Or for not being able to shut up and let him/her do whatever they want? Yes, Because I am male. When I set boundaries, I was accused of being 'controlling'.
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 I don't think it's the stance that is so much judged as the method. Standing up for yourself doesn't mean being "in your face" or demanding, insistent and intransigent. Standing up for yourself may even be engineered in silence, but through determined passive action.... (and no, I don't mean 'passive-aggressive'). 1
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