Jinx01 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and there is no real future for our relationship. I'm moving to a different city in two months when my lease is up and I have told my boyfriend that I do not want him to come with me. Since we had this talk he has been mad at me. I feel like he's only upset about having to provide every thing for himself. I make far more money than him. Yesterday he even unclaimed me in public. A girl that he works with saw us and was like "oh this is your wife or fiance right?" And he got super irritated and said "oh God no! Just girl friend! She wouldn't marry me because of where I work!"... So I was basically made to look as bad as possible around his work friends. When the truth is simply that he doesn't want to get married. Should I break up with him and kick him out before I even move?
jam.over.jelly Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 You already know the answer yourself by saying there is no real future for your relationship, plus you don't even want him to come with you when you move to a different city. Unless he's on your lease and is paying rent, I don't see the reason why you should continue this relationship
candie13 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 you're not asking yourself the right questions. There are some RS that have no future, yet they still make us happy as they bring us something, they make us richer. do you feel he uses you as his ticket meal? is he making you happy ? Is he giving and caring, attentionate and thoughtful ? Do you like living with him? trust me, no man who can get a free rent will like it if they hear you are moving on. He'll never give you his permission. Think about what you feel. How you feel about him. How invested he is in the RS... and what he brings to the RS. If you're simply his rent free gf... you know what you gotta do... I'd normally advise you to have a good ol' talk with him, but you seem pretty decided about life in general... don't allow him to make you feel guilty, whatever decision you make. cheers 2
Author Jinx01 Posted October 8, 2015 Author Posted October 8, 2015 I like being with my boyfriend. I have to move though, and because he has not even started to look for another job in the next city he cannot go. I'd like to stay in a relationship with him but I think he's going to force me to break up with him before I leave. This makes the second time he's done something to berate me in public. 1
PegNosePete Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Why on earth do you want to stay in a relationship with him? In your other thread you described it as a terrible relationship and said you're only still in it because you can do stupid things sometimes. What's with that? Have some self-respect and end this terrible relationship. Don't stay in a bad relationship just for the sake of it. Life is too short for that kind of rubbish.
angel.eyes Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Color him immature for that response! But seriously, the guy is 18 years older than you. He mooches off of you for a roof over his head. The relationship is poor, and he refuses to marry you. Why, just why, are you still with him...a year after he made it clear he wouldn't marry you? What exactly are you getting out of this dead end relationship that more than makes up for all the negatives that you describe in your threads? My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and there is no real future for our relationship. ..... Yesterday he even unclaimed me in public. A girl that he works with saw us and was like "oh this is your wife or fiance right?" And he got super irritated and said "oh God no! Just girl friend! She wouldn't marry me because of where I work!"... So I was basically made to look as bad as possible around his work friends. When the truth is simply that he doesn't want to get married. Should I break up with him and kick him out before I even move? 2
Miss Peach Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 (edited) I don't like a few things you've mentioned about your BF. 1. He doesn't want to get married. He hasn't tried to look for a job in the new city. It would be one thing if he wanted to but it was some time in the future but since he doesn't want to in words or actions leads me to think he's not THAT committed to you. 2. He's berated you in public twice. He's acting angry with you and doing stupid things to make you feel bad. This isn't healthy IMO. It's up to you whether you want to continue this the next few months but if you're not living with him I would consider just ending it, working on getting over him while you make your preparations to move, and then be able to start in your new city with a clean slate. It will be easier IMO to deal with if you are busy with your move. You want to be able to go to the new city, make friends, etc. You don't want to spend your first few months thinking of your soon to be ex BF. I was in a relationship with some odd parallels to what you have posted. It was tough but I am happy I moved on. Edited October 8, 2015 by Miss Peach
candie13 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 girl... I'm 35, so that may be different, but... I would never even consider a guy who isn't taking me seriously. Like if a guy tells me he wants no kids and no marriage, I'm outta there - not even with me, in general. Anyways, it's your choice, just remember, you're not young forever. why would you stay in what my mom would call "a dead end relationship"? What do you want - that is the real question. To build on Miss Peach's answer, the sooner you end it, the sooner you start healing. Loads of people are likeable... forget about like, look deeper inside - is he giving you what you really want ? Care about you and your RS ?
StocksnBlondes Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 (edited) My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and there is no real future for our relationship. I'm moving to a different city in two months when my lease is up and I have told my boyfriend that I do not want him to come with me. Since we had this talk he has been mad at me. I feel like he's only upset about having to provide every thing for himself. I make far more money than him. Yesterday he even unclaimed me in public. A girl that he works with saw us and was like "oh this is your wife or fiance right?" And he got super irritated and said "oh God no! Just girl friend! She wouldn't marry me because of where I work!"... So I was basically made to look as bad as possible around his work friends. When the truth is simply that he doesn't want to get married. Should I break up with him and kick him out before I even move? OP ... I'm going to play master of the obvious here You don't want him in your life ...yes end it now as you'll have an easier time in your transition in your new city. I did this same thing many years ago ...spend your free time till you move researching your new city and beginning to establish some connections such as any friends or friends of friends you can count on for lunches/HH, volunteering, etc. Every city has something special about it ...go get all passionate about that. Why do you care if he's mad at you, the reasons of why he's mad, or how he treats you. You're rather all over the place emotionally ...if you read your post here and your previous threads, you're done with this guy. Make a clean break. Do you enjoy wallowing in it? Enjoy the drama? How do you have time for this stuff? I'd pick something much more constructive personally but to each their own. I will say that this behavior speaks to your subconscious mind dealing with the pain of being with someone who has rejected your image of how you want life to be with them. I'm sorry that your heart is hurting. It's not fun and it's not fun to have your parade rained on ...but the parade goes on. However ...At some point, when you've extricated yourself from this relationship of which you have clearly stated will not give you what YOU desire (marriage), healed from it and done some self reflection ...come back and read your threads so you can SEE for yourself the madness of it all. Sorry if that comes off harshly ...I'm a rather logical thinker and you're all over the place. You're using good logic by letting this helium balloon of a guy fly off into the clouds. Edited October 8, 2015 by StocksnBlondes
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