sunny2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 I just need to get things off my chest. I'm sure my friends are tired of listening to me. Caught my boyfriend of 9 years cheating on me with a girl 32 years younger than him. Long story short his answer to me later was I deserve to be happy. Slap #2. I told he really hurt me and he said he was sorry. I think he was sorry he got caught. I'm sure she was happy he did. Stupid as I am at times she was throwing some hints the weekend before. He owns a painting company and she had been working for him a month. I've been working on weekend to help him since he didn't have a driver license. Before I spoke again. I went back to his mothers house were he lived that morning and deflated her tires and took the antifreeze and pour it all over her windshield. Yes at the time it did make me feel better. I had talk to one of his crew guy that day it happen. I guess he told them I was mad and poured antifreeze all of the girl car the day before. I have to say I do love his crew. I got 2 calls asking me what happen because they knew I was not the type to do something like that. The guy I spoke with the day before called me. I did ask him why he would even bring it up. He said that he was asking about were I was and the guys were. My boyfriend answer that. His answer to my boyfriend was don't lie I know all about it and it was for the town whore. Now I'm just trying to get over this. Question I would like him to answer but I refuse to call and ask. Why call me the day before and confirm I was working. He knew I was tired. I have a lot of why's. I know I will have to talk with him sometime. Because his mail comes to my house and I no longer want it. I do his books for his business and I have no plans on doing it. I know why he went with her. She is 26yrs old and he is a dog. Sorry for rambling.
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 You don't have to talk to him at all. Send him a text telling him that either he diverts his mail or it all ends up in the bin. The mail you get in the meantime will be put in a cardboard box and left outside your front door. You want nothing more to do with him. Pouring antifreeze on the bonnet of the girl's car, and deflating her tyres, was actually despicable and unnecessary. While emotionally you were in a bad place, that is criminal vandalism, and you're responsible for the damage. Get ready to be sued, it may happen. 2
Author sunny2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Author Posted October 8, 2015 I'm not really worried about getting sued. I'm sure he played hero of the day. There was no damage to the car except putting air in the tires and washing it. Should I have done it. It was better then making a sence at the time. Because they were not there. Ive been part of the family for 25 yrs. I babysit for his daughter 2x a week. First instint was to stop and let the new mommy start being a mother and grandmother. But I veto that since his daughter is doing good for herself. TGoing back to school is the first postive thing she done for herself in over 10 yrs. She does have alot of mental health issue. If he knew how to text I would do that. But I do like the idea. So I will pick up a Thank you note and put a change of address in it. As for his books it will have to stay in my cellar for awhile. I cannot trust myself yet to drop them off. When my head gets better. I should have know something was up when he was caliing me and telling me how much he loved me. Telling people that that we have been frends for over 25 yrs.
Author sunny2015 Posted October 9, 2015 Author Posted October 9, 2015 Feeling very hurt and betrayed. I just need to move on and finding it hard.
Author sunny2015 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Posted October 11, 2015 Well last night I had a dream. I went to the store were he meets his guys in the morning. I told him he needed to change is address. He care me that look that I hate of I don't care what you want. I went into my car andgot a bat and started to beat the **** out of him and the girl thought she was going tobu in. I gave her a look and she ran into the truck. I finish with him and churned on the truck and started smashing the windows. Than churned around and said there was nothing he can say about the damage to the truck since it was not him that owns it and His brother won't do anything. While I was beating him up I was telling him everything I thought about him. I woke up right after and I tell you it felt so good. It felt so good todo that even it was in my dream. It seemed to take some weight off my back. The rest of the day went great for me. Happy Birthday to me!!!!!
Author sunny2015 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Posted October 13, 2015 Starting tofeel better after that dream the other night. I remember some of the things I said in the dream and you know what. Even though I caught him cheating on me. I was not very happy in the relationship. I look back and realized that it really was not me it was him. His idea of fun is drinking all day and getting high. Thats fine for him. What my attention 24 hrs. Which I would not give or have time for. I'm happy in a sense I was true to myself. I think with the breakup was fear. I was afraid to open the door and move to unknown. Well I open it the other day. Still nervouse but also excite. I have yet to close that door becasue I do have a few obligation. I didn't like the person I was becoming. I'm not a mean person and that was what happening. I know I'm rambling but at least I'm able to sleep and not think of him 24 hrs a day. Still do but now I know it will pass. I do count my blessing everyday for my friends and family he has to listen to me. I never knew and found out they didn't like him and only put up with him for me. Ash for his book for his company. I did call a couple of people I thought were his friends for me to drop it off and nobody wants to touch them. I'm not ready to go to his parents house to drop them off. Even though I will still have a relationship with them at a later time. Right now it is through e-mail and chat.
Author sunny2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Author Posted November 20, 2015 I called him to find out were he wanted me to drop of his books for his company. He wants me to still do them. I said no. Should I've said that or just finish off the year. My concern about finishing the year off is that he thinks I would start being friends with him. I have no intention of that. I felt very betrayed by him and don't trust him or like him. Question is should I finish off the year and go my happy way or let him figure out what I was doing?
Silver_star Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 No offence, but you seem too old for all this drama. Deflating someone's tires? Really mature. If you think he is a dog, and you don't like his character then leave him in the dust. Don't associate with him, don't do "his books" or anything else that would make you have to associate with him. It will just drag on the drama. Seems like everyone involved has more growing up to do.
Author sunny2015 Posted November 23, 2015 Author Posted November 23, 2015 I have to say yes that was immature at the time. Not my finest hour. But considering I was seeing red at the time and could have attack him and her. I believed I handled it the best way. At least I didn't do any damaged all it needed was air. I'm sure she thought i would go after her the way she was sticking her head in her course in the pitch dark. She wanted him to get caught because she was throwing hints for a couple of weeks. There is always consequences for that. That being said that was on Oct. 3rd. I really did not like the NC at times because I felt that I was being punish for something I didn't do. In a way she wanted to get me out of the picture. She got her way remember she is 26 yr old and he is 58yrs old and a daughter to one of our friends. Not cool. Losing track with the NC it has been a journey. First his children is my children. While I was going through my emotion they were calling me texting me. His parents even was contacting me even though they knew something happen but didn't know what. All of a sudden to them she has been staying at the house sleeping with him on that cot in the cellar. His mother and father told me that I was always welcome there because I was there daughter. They didn't mention anything else that happen. They still send e-mails to my children. I realized I was not a fault. He made me feel very bad that I was no longer 26 yrs old and not pay attention 24/7. Well I earned my years. I raised 7 children 4 his and 3 mine. Went through a death of one child which was his. Always being there for him. What I realized I was in morning. Not for the relationship of a boyfriend. But for our friendship. I think that was the hardest part for me. We had been good friends before started seeing each other. Now I was without that. That is me who don't want it anymore. Believe me he has tried to run into me and even called. I finally got it through my head she has no idea. The first time he tried to see me I slammed the door on his face because he knew I was going to be there. I can hear her say unbelievable. I thought it was because I would not let them in. Well come to find out she is very worried about me and jealous. Which she really don't have anything to worry about on my half. She wanted him she can have him. What I'm getting at i feel so much better about myself. There is no reason for me to hide from his family or our friends. I found that was just stupid thing to to it just brought more pain to me. My children and I have been invited to his family house like we always are. this year I did pass and said i would be over to get my cheese cake on Saturday. I started to babysit again for his daughter. Those are my grandchildren she is my daughter. i'm the only mother she has ever know. Life is going back to normal for me. I have no reason to feel uncomfortable if they show up. they do. i'm not going to go out of my way to run into them but I also don't need to hide and secluded myself. I don't need his friendship and don't want it. But I can be nice. Because what goes around comes around. I don't need that bad Karma. I'm at that stage I can forgive. Not forget. I'm forgiving for myself and my family.
makemineamac Posted November 23, 2015 Posted November 23, 2015 Good for you. Sounds like you've processed a lot of stuff and have made some really good decisions that will work for you and your family's future. Good work.
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