JewelD Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Okay, so I've been talking to this girl on/off for a couple of months after we met on okcupid. I worked a lot harder than I should have in pursuing this woman. So things were starting to get better, she would text me first and we'd talk all day. However, I'm away at school 2hrs away from her. We've been making plans to meet but her work schedule changes every week and her off days are sporadic. My schedule is pretty flexible and I told her that. She mentioned that this would be easier if I was back home. Which is true, but after 2 months, a pointless observation. She knew this from day 1. I want to meet her, but I'm so frustrated. I feel like I've done most of the work and the one time she has to take the lead and do something, it's a big deal. Part of me just wants to say **** it honestly. I mean, if you were really interested in someone, wouldn't you work hard to make time for them?
d0nnivain Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Put her out of your mind until you are coming home for a school break. Meet up with her then when it's convenient. Until then it's too much work. Aren't there any cute coeds in your classes or dorm? 1
Frank2thepoint Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Okay, so I've been talking to this girl on/off for a couple of months after we met on okcupid. The answer is in your first sentence. Neither of you have been taking meeting seriously for a couple of months. You need to ask a woman out and try to secure a date between 3-5 messages. If she is being hesitant, then at least secure her number, call her, and chat with her at least once to hear each other's voice. Always be clear and direct that you want to see her for a date. If you don't you run the risk of not taking initiative. Concerning this woman, I recommend for you to just let her go.
katiegrl Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 The answer is in your first sentence. Neither of you have been taking meeting seriously for a couple of months. You need to ask a woman out and try to secure a date between 3-5 messages. If she is being hesitant, then at least secure her number, call her, and chat with her at least once to hear each other's voice. Always be clear and direct that you want to see her for a date. If you don't you run the risk of not taking initiative. Concerning this woman, I recommend for you to just let her go. Jewel, is this the same chick as in your other threads? If so, I thought you HAD let her go? What happened? A few weeks ago you said you were DONE. Apparently, you went back, and now you want to be DONE again? I am confused.....
kismetkismet Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 To be perfectly honest, I don't invest very much into someone i have met online until I've met them in person. I don't feel enough of a connection over the internet to make it worth reorganizing my life in order to meet them for the first time. And I'd feel it was a lot of pressure for them to travel to meet me. I would wait until it's more convenient to meet before investing much more energy in this. Then you can see if it's actually worth it.
katiegrl Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Jewel, is this the same chick as in your other threads? If so, I thought you HAD let her go? What happened? A few weeks ago you said you were DONE. Apparently, you went back, and now you want to be DONE again? I am confused..... Edit: All this drama before ever even meeting. I am not judging, I just don't understand it....what's the pull? It's the same ole same ole just like before..... why put yourself through this? 1
Author JewelD Posted October 8, 2015 Author Posted October 8, 2015 The answer is in your first sentence. Neither of you have been taking meeting seriously for a couple of months. You need to ask a woman out and try to secure a date between 3-5 messages. If she is being hesitant, then at least secure her number, call her, and chat with her at least once to hear each other's voice. Always be clear and direct that you want to see her for a date. If you don't you run the risk of not taking initiative. Concerning this woman, I recommend for you to just let her go. We were trying but over the summer, I was broke and she was injured so she wasn't working and she couldn't walk on her own. We also fell out and stopped talking a couple of times. We did talk on the phone though. Now that the school year's started, I'm working again and she's off crutches and working again as well. The opportunity is there and I've made it clear I want to meet and she seemed to be into it as well, it just feels like it's floundering I guess.
Author JewelD Posted October 8, 2015 Author Posted October 8, 2015 Put her out of your mind until you are coming home for a school break. Meet up with her then when it's convenient. Until then it's too much work. Aren't there any cute coeds in your classes or dorm? I'm in grad school so most of the students are either too young or too old for me. I don't like to mix business with pleasure either. My program is really short. I've got one more year left and then I'll be moving back home. I figured it would be pointless to start something with someone here who may be from this area or somewhere even further originally. and it's the craziest thing, I haven't seen one person I'm attracted to out here. The demographic is very homogeneous. Even on okcupid there were slim pickings for lesbians in this area.
Author JewelD Posted October 8, 2015 Author Posted October 8, 2015 Jewel, is this the same chick as in your other threads? If so, I thought you HAD let her go? What happened? A few weeks ago you said you were DONE. Apparently, you went back, and now you want to be DONE again? I am confused..... It is the same girl. We stopped talking for awhile and then got back into it. She acts a lot different than she did before. I didn't have to text her first all the time and we were having some decent conversations and flirting, etc. I'm honestly not sure what it is about her. From what I've observed so far, she's intelligent, we have a lot in common, and physically she's exactly my type. But even so, I'm not beyond telling her to **** off if she's not willing to work something out. At one point I had offered to come out there because I had a break coming up and it would be a chance to see my friends and family as well. But then we fell off, so I took that off the table this time. It's easier for her to come see me, although I wouldn't mind going to her the second time if we hit it off.
Author JewelD Posted October 8, 2015 Author Posted October 8, 2015 To be perfectly honest, I don't invest very much into someone i have met online until I've met them in person. I don't feel enough of a connection over the internet to make it worth reorganizing my life in order to meet them for the first time. And I'd feel it was a lot of pressure for them to travel to meet me. I would wait until it's more convenient to meet before investing much more energy in this. Then you can see if it's actually worth it. I didn't plan on going home until Thanksgiving or xmas break. I just felt it might be awkward for us to stop talking til then...or that we'd get bored in the meantime.
jam.over.jelly Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 you're putting this much work on someone you havent met? I think you should shift that focus on someone closer to you physically. 1
katiegrl Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 It is the same girl. We stopped talking for awhile and then got back into it. She acts a lot different than she did before. I didn't have to text her first all the time and we were having some decent conversations and flirting, etc. I'm honestly not sure what it is about her. From what I've observed so far, she's intelligent, we have a lot in common, and physically she's exactly my type. But even so, I'm not beyond telling her to **** off if she's not willing to work something out. At one point I had offered to come out there because I had a break coming up and it would be a chance to see my friends and family as well. But then we fell off, so I took that off the table this time. It's easier for her to come see me, although I wouldn't mind going to her the second time if we hit it off. Just curious by why haven't you met? Two hours is not far at all. Are you sure she's real and you're not being catfished or just played? How do you know she's not just bored? Sounds like she had another chick before, that ended, and she starts up with you again, but STILL can't meet. Do you Skype at least? Sounds really suspect to me.... 1
Author JewelD Posted October 10, 2015 Author Posted October 10, 2015 Just curious by why haven't you met? Two hours is not far at all. Are you sure she's real and you're not being catfished or just played? How do you know she's not just bored? Sounds like she had another chick before, that ended, and she starts up with you again, but STILL can't meet. Do you Skype at least? Sounds really suspect to me.... I don't drive and I have a dog to look after, so it's a pain for me to get home, although I did offer a couple of times before we fell out the last time. We're connected on other social media accounts and she wanted to facetime once so I'm almost certain she's not a catfish. I don't have an iphone though. I suggested she download skype, but she didn't want to use up the space on her phone. Which, honestly, is such a ****ty thing to say to someone. I'm not sure she's playing me just yet because she's not getting anything out of it at this point. And she already made it clear she talks to other women. This third time around her whole story changed. She's being a lot more honest. Telling me all the negative things about her, stuff I don't think you'd tell someone you were trying to impress. at least not before you meet them. Really just sitting back and looking at everything she's said in the past week, I think she's somewhat interested because I've been persistent and trying to impress her through conversation, but I don't think she's as interested as she should be for me to be putting all this effort into her. She said she cheated on her last gf, isn't looking for a relationship but wouldn't stop it if it happened, and lacks self control when it comes to sex. I guess I was just a bit bored myself. She's decent looking and we have good conversations sometimes, but overall, seems like I'm potentially setting myself up for bs. Even if we met and clicked and got together, I imagine she might cheat on me too, especially being 2hrs away. I was just holding onto this fantasy that we would meet in person, she would see what a great person I am and happily ever after. I think I can do a lot better than her!
katiegrl Posted October 10, 2015 Posted October 10, 2015 I don't drive and I have a dog to look after, so it's a pain for me to get home, although I did offer a couple of times before we fell out the last time. We're connected on other social media accounts and she wanted to facetime once so I'm almost certain she's not a catfish. I don't have an iphone though. I suggested she download skype, but she didn't want to use up the space on her phone. Which, honestly, is such a ****ty thing to say to someone. I'm not sure she's playing me just yet because she's not getting anything out of it at this point. And she already made it clear she talks to other women. This third time around her whole story changed. She's being a lot more honest. Telling me all the negative things about her, stuff I don't think you'd tell someone you were trying to impress. at least not before you meet them. Really just sitting back and looking at everything she's said in the past week, I think she's somewhat interested because I've been persistent and trying to impress her through conversation, but I don't think she's as interested as she should be for me to be putting all this effort into her. She said she cheated on her last gf, isn't looking for a relationship but wouldn't stop it if it happened, and lacks self control when it comes to sex. I guess I was just a bit bored myself. She's decent looking and we have good conversations sometimes, but overall, seems like I'm potentially setting myself up for bs. Even if we met and clicked and got together, I imagine she might cheat on me too, especially being 2hrs away. **I was just holding onto this fantasy that we would meet in person, she would see what a great person I am and happily ever after. I think I can do a lot better than her!*** ^^That may be the most intellectually and emotionally honest thing a poster ever admitted about themselves on this forum.. That I've read anyway. You sound very insightful.....not only about others but about yourself as well. You deserve better than this Jewel. hugs 1
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