Committed Relationships Don't Work For Anyone. Ever

[katiegrl]

Your reality is supported by whatever the current society tells you is true. So everyone gets behind it and accepts it as true. Our current society thinks that being in love is the supreme virtue of life, when in reality it is closer to a disease.

 

I am conditioned though of course. I recognise the conditions I have and let them go when I experience them

 

Oh I get it now....you're an iconoclast. Known a couple in my life. One committed suicide (may he rest in peace), the other lives in the woods with a bunch of dogs.

 

 

Anyhoo, thank you so much for attempting to enlighten us with your profound wisdom.

 

 

Sadly for you, your attempts didn't work, but you gave it the ole college try....gotta give you credit for that at least.

 

 

Ciao.

[MrGray25]

This is partly true, marriage was born from Religion and a way to make people behave in respectable manners, when many centuries ago people were doing mass orgies and other behaviors deemed sinful and a HAZARD for any future organization and class system.

 

 

You need structure and family to raise children.

 

 

So half is correct and logical, it was instituted, but the other half is there is a large percentage who do actually fall in love and try everything to make it work against all odds.

 

Religion was created by men to control other men. Same with marriage.

 

The reasons in the past that people created families, relationships, love etc are no longer relevant and don't work in modern society.

 

Believing otherwise is your attachment blinding you

[Celeste.Carol]

Religion was created by men to control other men. Same with marriage.

 

The reasons in the past that people created families, relationships, love etc are no longer relevant and don't work in modern society.

 

Believing otherwise is your attachment blinding you

 

 

Absolutely not true. Religion, institute of marriage, and prisons makes us a civilized society. They are absolutely necessary and with them, it would be a world of chaos. Warheads are a different category and are needed for world peace.

[MrGray25]

What a sad way to live a life.

 

I feel sorry for you.

 

What if I was the happiest person you ever met?

[Stage5Clinger]

What if I was the happiest person you ever met?

 

You probably wouldn't be on the internet trying to convince people they can never be in a happy committed relationship.

[Celeste.Carol]

without them...will not let me edit.

[MrGray25]

Absolutely not true. Religion, institute of marriage, and prisons makes us a civilized society. They are absolutely necessary and with them, it would be a world of chaos. Warheads are a different category and are needed for world peace.

 

The institution of marriage is breaking down. The reasons why people done it originally have no corelation with why people do it now.

[BlueIris]

There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

[MrGray25]

You probably wouldn't be on the internet trying to convince people they can never be in a happy committed relationship.

 

I'm not trying to convince anyone. I 100% knew the responses because I always get the same responses.

 

I do it because the attached human condition is fascinating now that I live outside of it. It's an enjoyable read.

[Celeste.Carol]

The institution of marriage is breaking down. The reasons why people done it originally have no corelation with why people do it now.

 

 

Yes there is the same correlation, but there are outside entities, such as widespread acceptance of porn, cheap thrills, and lack of class, being instilled into our youth, solely for the purpose of big money in the hands of gigantic entertainment companies. Big butt selfies and acting trashy is being promoted, so of course the FB and friends with benefit generation may be really screwed up in the future and suffer. Then another religious crusade will occur.

[Celeste.Carol]

I'm not trying to convince anyone. I 100% knew the responses because I always get the same responses.

 

I do it because the attached human condition is fascinating now that I live outside of it. It's an enjoyable read.

 

 

Well then you must be some kind of god, because you are the first man to predict any actions or words coming from me.

[Stage5Clinger]

I'm not trying to convince anyone. I 100% knew the responses because I always get the same responses.

 

I do it because the attached human condition is fascinating now that I live outside of it. It's an enjoyable read.

 

If you feel it's best to lock the doors and hide in your safe place for the rest of your life -- do it. Just don't be surprised that your bragging about it impresses nobody.

[Lovelorn00]

Eh. I'm starting to think OP is on to something here...

Starting to question the point of any of it.

[BluEyeL]

I don't care that relationships eventually end. Everything ends sooner or later. We now live longer and life changes. But it is so wonderful to be in a loving relationship, as long as it lasts. It hurts when it ends but since everything ends, so does pain and there is always a new beginning.

[cessna]

Absolutely not true. Religion, institute of marriage, and prisons makes us a civilized society. They are absolutely necessary and with them, it would be a world of chaos. Warheads are a different category and are needed for world peace.

 

As cynical as I may be even I am not in total agreement with the OP.

 

Got to pull you up on one thing though. Religion certainly does not make us a civilised society. Much the opposite actually. Religion really is vile and despicable and the world would be a far better place without it.

 

Marriage? Eh, bit of paper really. Makes no real difference to the world.

 

I will agree with you on prisons. Yes, we do need prisons. The rest of what you said, though, was absolute nonsense of the highest order.

[TheBathWater]

Committed relationships, sex, companionship, love and having children are no longer necessary in our modern society, its really that simple. Requiring these to survive is no longer relevant in modern day society and requiring them in order to be happy have become manmade concepts meant to keep us under control, attached and living in fear.

 

The age old mystery of women from venus and men from mars is because everyone has tried to make something work that was never designed to work. The only reason we keep doing it is because:

 

1. We have chemicals inside of us that draws us to the opposite sex, but these eventually dissipate after a certain time, which is why the "spark" we feel always dies.

 

2. We are brainwashed 99.9% of our day giving us the opposite information. Every movie, every show, every song on the radio, every advert, every magazine, all your friends and family, every person you meet is reiterating that you should keep participating in something that doesn't work.

 

Of course the retort will be that we can make relationships work, but only with a lot of hard work, which is why half of marriages don't end in divorces. Of course relationships are meant to BE work and that's the reason why they don't work. The only relationships that work are those that mimic non serious relationships.

 

We have a whole world chasing something that is no longer relevant and doesn't work. Mind is blown but when you realise this, you realise you're on a whole other playing field of life and life is finally easy and delightful.

 

U mad that relationships dont work?

 

While I can appreciate your rationale, and am glad you find it comforting to think in this way, there are people who do feel relationships work - and because that is their model, it's more likely to be their reality. If your reality is that relationships don't work, then that's your reality.

 

I am probably one of the least optimistic people I know when it comes to monogamy in 2015, but I am proud to say that I have never cheated in a relationship before, and I have faith that I will one day be in a loving relationship with the right person, and it will work.

 

Just like going to work is hard work, just like not abusing substances can be hard work, and just like living in general can be hard work, relationships are hard work. It's precisely because of the sacrifice involved, however, that something else is gained that otherwise could not be found. There are only certain things in life you can experience through an ongoing relationship with someone else that you simply cannot experience alone or with multiple others.

 

But then again, that's just my reality.

 

To end, there is a poem that comes to mind that I feel is appropriate to include here in this post... It's called 'True Love'.

 

TRUE LOVE

 

True love. Is it normal

is it serious, is it practical?

What does the world get from two people

who exist in a world of their own?

 

Placed on the same pedestal for no good reason,

drawn randomly from millions but convinced

it had to happen this way – in reward for what?

For nothing.

The light descends from nowhere.

Why on these two and not on others?

Doesn’t this outrage justice? Yes it does.

Doesn’t it disrupt our painstakingly erected principles,

and cast the moral from the peak? Yes on both accounts.

 

Look at the happy couple.

Couldn’t they at least try to hide it,

fake a little depression for their friends’ sake?

Listen to them laughing – it’s an insult.

The language they use – deceptively clear.

And their little celebrations, rituals,

the elaborate mutual routines –

it’s obviously a plot behind the human race’s back!

 

It’s hard even to guess how far things might go

if people start to follow their example.

What could religion and poetry count on?

What would be remembered? What renounced?

Who’d want to stay within bounds?

 

True love. Is it really necessary?

Tact and common sense tell us to pass over it in silence,

like a scandal in Life’s highest circles.

Perfectly good children are born without its help.

It couldn’t populate the planet in a million years,

it comes along so rarely.

 

Let the people who never find true love

keep saying that there’s no such thing.

 

Their faith will make it easier for them to live and die.

 

- Wislawa Szymborska

[MrGray25]

I don't care that relationships eventually end. Everything ends sooner or later. We now live longer and life changes. But it is so wonderful to be in a loving relationship, as long as it lasts. It hurts when it ends but since everything ends, so does pain and there is always a new beginning.

 

Then why be attached in the first place?

 

 

You can only really love without attachment anyway. Love with attachment isn't love... its attachment.

[MrGray25]

While I can appreciate your rationale, and am glad you find it comforting to think in this way, there are people who do feel relationships work - and because that is their model, it's more likely to be their reality. If your reality is that relationships don't work, then that's your reality.

 

I am probably one of the least optimistic people I know when it comes to monogamy in 2015, but I am proud to say that I have never cheated in a relationship before, and I have faith that I will one day be in a loving relationship with the right person, and it will work.

 

Just like going to work is hard work, just like not abusing substances can be hard work, and just like living in general can be hard work, relationships are hard work. It's precisely because of the sacrifice involved, however, that something else is gained that otherwise could not be found. There are only certain things in life you can experience through an ongoing relationship with someone else that you simply cannot experience alone or with multiple others.

 

But then again, that's just my reality.

 

To end, there is a poem that comes to mind that I feel is appropriate to include here in this post... It's called 'True Love'.

 

 

You're wasting your life and negative energy on this monogamy garbage. A truly phenomenal relationship is where each person encourages the other to be free in every way. Encourages the other to have sex with other people.

[MrGray25]

Eh. I'm starting to think OP is on to something here...

Starting to question the point of any of it.

 

There is no point to life.

 

 

Take 1 minute out of your day to sit by yourself in absolute silence and you'll probably see it. Most people wouldn't do that though, they are terrified to be alone like that.

 

 

Being alone like that has got to be one of best experiences in life to me though.

[Tobin]

1. We have chemicals inside of us that draws us to the opposite sex, but these eventually dissipate after a certain time, which is why the "spark" we feel always dies.

 

That doesn't mean committed exclusive relationships don't work. They work but they're "time limited". Maybe 20 years or thereabouts. Nothing wrong with a good 20 year run and then you move on for the next round of thrill and excitement. Doesn't mean it was a fail but I do agree if more people realized this they wouldn't get married and they wouldn't intermingle their assets and finances.

 

Of course the retort will be that we can make relationships work, but only with a lot of hard work, which is why half of marriages don't end in divorces.

 

Of the half of marriages that don't end in divorce, many of those are only still "intact" because of finances, or fear of starting over, or not wanting to be apart from the kids, or losing the house or whatever.

 

Marriage doesn't work. Most people don't stay together happily for 50+ years but that doesn't mean long term exclusive committed relationships don't work even if the 2 partners eventually cut ties and move on.

[Celeste.Carol]

There is no point to life.

 

 

Take 1 minute out of your day to sit by yourself in absolute silence and you'll probably see it. Most people wouldn't do that though, they are terrified to be alone like that.

 

 

Being alone like that has got to be one of best experiences in life to me though.

 

 

 

It works for autistics along the spectrum...although they get hairy and agitated at times.

[MrGray25]

Yes there is the same correlation, but there are outside entities, such as widespread acceptance of porn, cheap thrills, and lack of class, being instilled into our youth, solely for the purpose of big money in the hands of gigantic entertainment companies. Big butt selfies and acting trashy is being promoted, so of course the FB and friends with benefit generation may be really screwed up in the future and suffer. Then another religious crusade will occur.

 

Im not like that at all.

 

 

I work a professional job full time. I do yoga in the evenings and volunteer at wildlife trusts, animal shelters and farms on the weekend.

 

 

I still reject it though.

[xxoo]

Then why be attached in the first place?

 

 

You can only really love without attachment anyway. Love with attachment isn't love... its attachment.

 

Pleasure. Joy. Fulfillment.

[MrGray25]

That doesn't mean committed exclusive relationships don't work. They work but they're "time limited". Maybe 20 years or thereabouts. Nothing wrong with a good 20 year run and then you move on for the next round of thrill and excitement. Doesn't mean it was a fail but I do agree if more people realized this they wouldn't get married and they wouldn't intermingle their assets and finances.

 

 

 

Of the half of marriages that don't end in divorce, many of those are only still "intact" because of finances, or fear of starting over, or not wanting to be apart from the kids, or losing the house or whatever.

 

Marriage doesn't work. Most people don't stay together happily for 50+ years but that doesn't mean long term exclusive committed relationships don't work even if the 2 partners eventually cut ties and move on.

 

Exactly, so why be attached to any of it?

[Celeste.Carol]

Exactly, so why be attached to any of it?

 

Join a nudist yoga camp and have an open marriage.