JasmineJones Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 I tend to reply to my guy's text messages immediately because I love communicating with him so much. But now I am starting to wonder if it makes me look too available or too desperate or something? I know this question might sound dumb so please do not flame me. He is very communicative and is not the type to play games of any kind. But should I still hold back?
ThisisIt606 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Text him how you want. If you receive a text, you see it, and you actually aren't busy feel free to answer. However don't let that turn into you sitting around waiting for a text and putting your active life on hold. If you get a text and you're in the middle of something, finish writing the email, the page in your book, cooking, etc. then text back. Basically just text when you want and when it fits into whatever you are doing at the moment. 1
Qboro90 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 How long have you been seeing/talking to this guy? Or is he your bf? Either way I suggest you don't start getting into the "texting timeline" game at any point of a relationship or communication. You don't need to reply instantly as if you're staring at your phone waiting for his text to come through, and you don't need to count 10 minutes before you hit send either. Don't even think about how you might come off or the time you should wait texting. Just be yourself. Eventually he will find out anyways so why pretend to have different communication skills and expectations just because you're unsure of his perception.
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Do you guys actually ever talk? Maybe the next time you speak to him you should ask him..... I know it's old-fashioned, but it's amazing what the spoken word can achieve.
Author JasmineJones Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 How long have you been seeing/talking to this guy? Or is he your bf? Either way I suggest you don't start getting into the "texting timeline" game at any point of a relationship or communication. You don't need to reply instantly as if you're staring at your phone waiting for his text to come through, and you don't need to count 10 minutes before you hit send either. Don't even think about how you might come off or the time you should wait texting. Just be yourself. Eventually he will find out anyways so why pretend to have different communication skills and expectations just because you're unsure of his perception. Seeing him about 2 months. He's asked for exclusivity. I'm falling in love with him and just generally feeling a bit freaked out. If I text him he typically replies immediately.
Author JasmineJones Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 Do you guys actually ever talk? Maybe the next time you speak to him you should ask him..... I know it's old-fashioned, but it's amazing what the spoken word can achieve. We go out twice a week. Of course we talk non-stop when we are together. But we also tend to text non-stop in between dates.
katiegrl Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 I always try to respond back to my fiancé's text messages right away, unless I am in a meeting or doctor's office or somewhere cell phones are not allowed. Even if I am in the middle of something, I send a quick reply (30 seconds tops) saying "hun I am doing (whatever I am doing).... can we talk later"? Something like that. For the love of god, please don't start playing that game Jasimine. Your RL sounds good, why change what's obviously working? 1
EricaH329 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 I don't think it's dumb for wondering that at all! I think it's a very valid question. I, too, sometimes wonder that myself. But if you're available to text back right away, then I don't see anything wrong with that. Would you really want a guy that thought an immediate response comes across as 'too available'? Just be yourself, that's why he likes you 1
Author JasmineJones Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 I always try to respond back to my fiancé's text messages right away, unless I am in a meeting or doctor's office or somewhere cell phones are not allowed. Even if I am in the middle of something, I send a quick reply (30 seconds tops) saying "hun I am doing (whatever I am doing).... can we talk later"? Something like that. For the love of god, please don't start playing that game Jasimine. Your RL sounds good, why change what's obviously working? I'm just freaking out. I heard men can lose interest in you if you seem too "available"
katiegrl Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 I'm just freaking out. I heard men can lose interest in you if you seem too "available" If a guy deems exercising common courtesy in replying to a text message promptly (even if just to say you're busy and let's talk later when I have more time).... means you're "too available," then IMO good riddance! I can't even imagine a guy thinking a girl is too available for that. If you start to switch it up now, and STOP replying quickly, he is going to think you're either losing interest or playing a game. How would YOU feel if he did that to you? Just arbitrarily out of the blue stopped responding to you as quickly as before.....or stopped asking you out as often as he does....thinking "gee, I don't want her to think I'm too available or too "easy"? Would that raise your interest level? It wouldn't raise mine, it would LOWER my interest level. I hate bull shyt games, and that is exactly what that is jasmine. Don't do it.
katiegrl Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 If a guy deems exercising common courtesy in replying to a text message promptly (even if just to say you're busy and let's talk later when I have more time).... means you're "too available," then IMO good riddance! I can't even imagine a guy thinking a girl is too available for that. If you start to switch it up now, and STOP replying quickly, he is going to think you're either losing interest or playing a game. How would YOU feel if he did that to you? Just arbitrarily out of the blue stopped responding to you as quickly as before.....or stopped asking you out as often as he does....thinking "gee, I don't want her to think I'm too available or too "easy"? Would that raise your interest level? It wouldn't raise mine, it would LOWER my interest level. I hate bull shyt games, and that is exactly what that is jasmine. Don't do it. jasmine, if you don't want to appear too available, my advice would be to cut back on the long texting sessions. Whenever he texts you, text back telling him you're in the middle of something and will talk to him later. with an xoxo or wink emoji or something like that. DON'T just ignore him, or wait hours to reply. That is just plain rude IMO.
MrMeh Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 I'm just freaking out. I heard men can lose interest in you if you seem too "available" If he loses interest because you appear too available then it simply means he would have inevitably lost interest anyways. If you simply be yourself then you'll find out if you are truly compatible, but if you play games, then you would just end up prolonging the time to a negative outcome.
menyou Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 If I get a text that "requires" a response, like a question of sorts and I see said text, I will immediately respond. If I get a text that is benign then I am free to let it simmer a bit. My BF does the same. I usually don't get nonsense texts so I'm usually responding immediately after seeing the text though and I always have my phone on me for my kids.
Stage5Clinger Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 He is very communicative and is not the type to play games of any kind. But should I still hold back? That would be a good way to cause problems where there are none and possibly lose this guy's interest. Why can't women just be happy when things are good? Always trying to create some kind of tension -- it's unnecessary. 1
losangelena Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 I'm just freaking out. I heard men can lose interest in you if you seem too "available" At two months in, though? I wouldn't worry about it. If you're exclusive and everything, he already "has" you, so your availability is kind of a moot point. But if makes you feel better to wait a bit, then do so.
menyou Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 That would be a good way to cause problems where there are none and possibly lose this guy's interest. Why can't women just be happy when things are good? Always trying to create some kind of tension -- it's unnecessary. People tend to freak out way too quickly IMO.
katiegrl Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 People tend to freak out way too quickly IMO. I agree, especially here since Jasmine's boyfriend doesn't seem at all turned off by her so-called "availability." I could understand if he were starting to pull back or fade out, but everything is working! Doesn't make sense that she would be freaking out now.... BEFORE anything bad even happened....but there are some people who freak out even when things are good and working, it scares them for some reason.... so who knows...maybe she is one of those people.
Frank2thepoint Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Seeing him about 2 months. He's asked for exclusivity. I'm falling in love with him and just generally feeling a bit freaked out. If I text him he typically replies immediately. I'm just freaking out. I heard men can lose interest in you if you seem too "available" He's asked to be exclusive (assuming that also means being in a relationship, not exclusively dating). If things are going good so far, don't introduce any game-playing because he'll pick up on it, and you'll end up pushing him away. Keep doing what you are doing. And no, a man that is into a woman doesn't lose interest if she responds immediately. It means the woman reciprocating interest.
NewLeaf512 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 It's a text. Not a Royal Summons. Don't set the tone for the future with this bs now 1
BluEyeL Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Jasmine , you can reply immediately at this point. Given the information about him and your relationship it'll not make him lose interest . Good luck! 1
xcupid Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 I'm just freaking out. I heard men can lose interest in you if you seem too "available" Do what you want to do. If you like texting him back immediately do it. He won't lose interest in you if he likes you and is into you. 1
Qboro90 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 it's awesome that you've found someone you care about and I don't think you have anything to worry about at the moment. I would advise you to just cut back the amount you both text one another during the day's your apart. Simply for the reason that it is literally impossible to keep that kind of pace up the longer you two date. You're in the honeymoon stages and both so excited to talk as much as possible so it's not an issue now. But I've seen so many girls start to freak out after 7,8,9 months pass and suddenly he's not able to reply as much or text as often throughout his workday... And the girl thinks he's pulling away or something is wrong when in fact nothin is. 2
Author JasmineJones Posted October 8, 2015 Author Posted October 8, 2015 Jasmine , you can reply immediately at this point. Given the information about him and your relationship it'll not make him lose interest . Good luck! Thanks BluEyeL. I am trying to relax but I have a tendency to get paranoid sometimes.
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