Tolu2d Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 To cut a long story short, I met this girl at work two weeks back. Really pretty, slim and we had a lot in common. Anyway I took her home right after work and we fooled around a bit, and she agreed to a date two days later. She texts me a bit in between, saying she's glad she met me and send me a few photo's ect. Anyway she cancels on me. We arrange another date and she cancels that, but reschedules for two days later. I asked her if we are still on for the new date, and now she's just ignoring me outright. Shame as I like this girl and we got on really well, and she could have been possible gf material. What should I do? Just leave it now? I'd like to know why she was really into me, and just changed her attitude completely. Maybe it's mind games, but who knows
python23 Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 Don't text her ever again. If she text you let her arrange a date. You've tried too many times. Don't waste your time on this girl because it's clear at the moment she's not interested. Don't act desperate. 2
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 4, 2015 Posted October 4, 2015 Just leave it. You have no idea why she isn't interested. She could only have been looking for a bit of fun and not want to lead you on. She could have reconnected with an ex, or had a family emergency or simply decided she's not ready for a relationship. None of the reasons are relevant, none of them matter. They don't change that she's not interested in you and acting immature to boot by cancelling dates, rescheduling then cancelling. You could wait and see if she connects to arrange this next date in case she's just really busy and not into too much texting while dating but I wouldn't hold out hope.
Author Tolu2d Posted October 4, 2015 Author Posted October 4, 2015 I am going to leave it now, as i really don't want to come across as desperate. I probably already have a bit. It's a shame she lost interest, as we had such a good connection she agreed to come home with me after work. She was super keen as well for the first date, but something obviously happened in between. You can't win them all, it seems. I wish she'd just say she's not interested out right. She's the only girl this year I've felt a remote connection too. Normally I keep things casual, but this one was actually different.
prlncess Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Hey, i was just wondering how do you feel about the girl now? If after a while she shows you interest again would you go ahead? Would you like her to explain to you why she has suddenly lost interest? I asked this because unfortunately, ive done this to a guy as well. it was because i thought that the guy i liked and i wouldn't work out, but turned out it sort of did.. only after ive prepared him for some potential dates. So i basically started to reply to him less and he gave up. Not sure how he felt though. i felt a bit bad, but was reassured by a mutual friend that he'll get over it. I definitely felt that we had a connection and somewhat complimented each other, just not sure if i have ruined my chances with him in the future or not.
JasmineJones Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 To cut a long story short, I met this girl at work two weeks back. Really pretty, slim and we had a lot in common. Anyway I took her home right after work and we fooled around a bit, and she agreed to a date two days later. She texts me a bit in between, saying she's glad she met me and send me a few photo's ect. Anyway she cancels on me. We arrange another date and she cancels that, but reschedules for two days later. I asked her if we are still on for the new date, and now she's just ignoring me outright. Shame as I like this girl and we got on really well, and she could have been possible gf material. What should I do? Just leave it now? I'd like to know why she was really into me, and just changed her attitude completely. Maybe it's mind games, but who knows what sort of photos? 1
glynnroy Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 To cut a long story short, I met this girl at work two weeks back. Really pretty, slim and we had a lot in common. Anyway I took her home right after work and we fooled around a bit, and she agreed to a date two days later. She texts me a bit in between, saying she's glad she met me and send me a few photo's ect. Anyway she cancels on me. We arrange another date and she cancels that, but reschedules for two days later. I asked her if we are still on for the new date, and now she's just ignoring me outright. Shame as I like this girl and we got on really well, and she could have been possible gf material. What should I do? Just leave it now? I'd like to know why she was really into me, and just changed her attitude completely. Maybe it's mind games, but who knows I have always found and I live by this " no matter how busy a girl is if she's into you she will make time for you " Sounds like a classic case of cold feet and hadn't got the balls to tell you out right ! My spider sensed would be tingling and if just leave it , as much as you like her , no good sending text after text ! She would have got the first and she now refuses to answer for what every Reason ! Get back on it dude , plenty more dates out there for you !
Redhead14 Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 To cut a long story short, I met this girl at work two weeks back. Really pretty, slim and we had a lot in common. Anyway I took her home right after work and we fooled around a bit, and she agreed to a date two days later. She texts me a bit in between, saying she's glad she met me and send me a few photo's ect. Anyway she cancels on me. We arrange another date and she cancels that, but reschedules for two days later. I asked her if we are still on for the new date, and now she's just ignoring me outright. Shame as I like this girl and we got on really well, and she could have been possible gf material. What should I do? Just leave it now? I'd like to know why she was really into me, and just changed her attitude completely. Maybe it's mind games, but who knows I'd like to know why she was really into me, and just changed her attitude completely -- She probably doesn't know why it changed for her either. It doesn't matter.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Maybe she's not entirely single. In reality, you only spent a a few hours together. She obviously liked that enough and liked the attention but isn't interested otherwise. I'll echo the others - just let this one go.
katiegrl Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 I am going to leave it now, as i really don't want to come across as desperate. **I probably already have a bit.*** ^^^That is why she lost interest.....
Revan32 Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Hey, i was just wondering how do you feel about the girl now? If after a while she shows you interest again would you go ahead? Would you like her to explain to you why she has suddenly lost interest? I asked this because unfortunately, ive done this to a guy as well. it was because i thought that the guy i liked and i wouldn't work out, but turned out it sort of did.. only after ive prepared him for some potential dates. So i basically started to reply to him less and he gave up. Not sure how he felt though. i felt a bit bad, but was reassured by a mutual friend that he'll get over it. I definitely felt that we had a connection and somewhat complimented each other, just not sure if i have ruined my chances with him in the future or not. I've had numerous girls do the same thing to me so I'll tell you how I felt about it. At first it was just hurtful and depressing. But after a while you start just getting angry about it. I've lost a lot of respect for women in general because of their snobbish behavior. I've even tried ghosting on a few girls myself just to spite them. Turns out though that I felt too bad about it and always end up responding after they start sending me sad whiny texts. Made me realize that girls have zero empathy when it comes to men. There have actually been studies showing this too. Now days I have a two flakes and 24 hour text rule. If a girl flakes on me twice, or doesn't respond to a text within 24 hours, I automatically delete their number. Which is fun when they end up texting me a few days later and I get to pull the "sorry who is this?" card which always makes them angry. haha Its sad when dating comes down to who can get the upper hand on the other and leave them with the most hurt feelings, but it is what it is.
xUnknown Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 I've had numerous girls do the same thing to me so I'll tell you how I felt about it. At first it was just hurtful and depressing. But after a while you start just getting angry about it. I've lost a lot of respect for women in general because of their snobbish behavior. I've even tried ghosting on a few girls myself just to spite them. Turns out though that I felt too bad about it and always end up responding after they start sending me sad whiny texts. Made me realize that girls have zero empathy when it comes to men. There have actually been studies showing this too. Now days I have a two flakes and 24 hour text rule. If a girl flakes on me twice, or doesn't respond to a text within 24 hours, I automatically delete their number. Which is fun when they end up texting me a few days later and I get to pull the "sorry who is this?" card which always makes them angry. haha Its sad when dating comes down to who can get the upper hand on the other and leave them with the most hurt feelings, but it is what it is. I sort of have a very similar rule to that. Pretty much, if I'm the one initiating contact all the time, I stop. If the time for her to text me is greater than 24-48 hours (depending on what the usual contact period time is). I hang that one up and leave it be. This sort of thing just happened to me. Hooked up, few dates, wanted to figure out where things were going (if its just bootie calls i wanted to know to keep emotions out of it). She assured me it wasn't that. Then 2 days later I text her, no response. I reach out again and things seemed cold. Haven't heard from her since, though, she still checks my snap chats. Its crazy how one night things are fine and we're both on the same page, a few days later, nothing. I still have her as my snapchat friend but prob gonna delete her. Don't need her checking up on my ****. Or maybe I do, so she can know I'm not dwelling. Either way, I nailed my "great white buffalo" twice, so there's that.
Author Tolu2d Posted October 6, 2015 Author Posted October 6, 2015 To cut a long story short, I met this girl at work two weeks back. Really pretty, slim and we had a lot in common. Anyway I take her home right after work and we fooled around for a bit, and she agreed to a date two days later. She texts me a bit in between, saying she's glad she met me and sent me a few photo's ect. Comes on quite strong to be honest, even saying we should make a trip together. Anyway she cancels on me. We arrange another date and she cancels that, but reschedules one for two days later. I asked her if we are still on for the new date, and now she's just ignoring me outright. How can a girl go from 100% interest to 0% interest just like that? What is my best course of action? Thanks
Author Tolu2d Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 (edited) Girl I like flakes a date on me three times. Had one small date beforehand, and we fooled around a bit and agreed to another date 2 days later. I ask her if she wants to reschedule and she ignores me. One flake was because she was "too tired". Anyway I leave it, then 3 days later she contacts me to tell me something, and do her a very slight favour. She then tells me she has a new boyfriend of 5 days. I tell her she lead me on and not to contact me ever again. She said ok and good luck. Was I rude in doing this? I think she did essentially lead me on as she agreed to 3 dates, and then cancelled, all the time while seeing another guy. No problem with that, but I feel like she just had me on the backburner the whole time. Edited October 7, 2015 by Tolu2d
Author Tolu2d Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 Girl I really liked flakes on me three times. Had one small date before that. I then ask her if she wants to reschedule and she just ignores me. One flake was because she was "too tired". Pretty lame excuse, if you ask me. Anyway I leave it and move on, then 3 days later she contacts me to tell me something, and do her a very slight favour. She goes on to tell me she has a new boyfriend of 5 days. I tell her she basically lead me on and not to ever contact me ever again. She denied this, but said ok and good luck. I think she did essentially lead me on as she agreed to 3 dates, and then cancelled, all the time while seeing another guy. No problem with that as she is free to do what she likes, but I feel like she just had me on the backburner the whole time. Anyway I've cut all contact with her, and hope I don't hear from her again. Can't waste my time like that, especially If I'm most likely a backup to some other dude. Was it rude of me?
StocksnBlondes Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Key words "girl I really liked" You liked her ...she possibly took you as just a friend and was never in it / saw you as a potential romantic partner. Your assumptions led to expectations on your part. She doesn't return your sentiments. Sorry it didn't work out for you. Put your energies into someone else who returns your affections. We're you wrong? No you were operating with incorrect intelligence ... You did your best now move on.
Author Tolu2d Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 Key words "girl I really liked" You liked her ...she possibly took you as just a friend and was never in it / saw you as a potential romantic partner. Your assumptions led to expectations on your part. She doesn't return your sentiments. Sorry it didn't work out for you. Put your energies into someone else who returns your affections. We're you wrong? No you were operating with incorrect intelligence ... You did your best now move on. Well I smashed her on the first date, and it was her who offered me a second date.
Stage5Clinger Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Was it rude of me? Maybe but who cares, dude. This girl doesn't care about your feelings. Don't waste any more energy trying to figure it out.
LostOnes05 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 You would be correct in all of your assertions my friend. Don't feel bad about what you told her, she's not worried about it so why should you? Next time a woman cancels a date on you without a legitimate excuse discard her number. And for the love of humanity, don't do her any favors or try to contact her apologizing.
Stage5Clinger Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Why did you post this twice? Chill man. This girl doesn't care what you think about her. You could have said or done anything and the result is nearly the same.
mightycpa Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Girl I really liked flakes on me three times. Had one small date before that. I then ask her if she wants to reschedule and she just ignores me. One flake was because she was "too tired". Pretty lame excuse, if you ask me. Anyway I leave it and move on, then 3 days later she contacts me to tell me something, and do her a very slight favour. She goes on to tell me she has a new boyfriend of 5 days. I tell her she basically lead me on and not to ever contact me ever again. She denied this, but said ok and good luck. I think she did essentially lead me on as she agreed to 3 dates, and then cancelled, all the time while seeing another guy. No problem with that as she is free to do what she likes, but I feel like she just had me on the backburner the whole time. Anyway I've cut all contact with her, and hope I don't hear from her again. Can't waste my time like that, especially If I'm most likely a backup to some other dude. Was it rude of me?Let's say you did say all that angrily and/or rudely... what difference does it make? Are you thinking about apologizing or something? You did what needed to be done. In this case, it doesn't matter if the message was delivered with sugar or vinegar.
EricaH329 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Were you friends with her prior to dating? If not, then you're absolutely right in not wanting any further contact. Being friends after dating someone, doesn't usually turn out well. Not to mention, she has proven that she's flaky (also not a good 'friend'). However, I don't think dating means exclusivity. I know many people who date more than one person at a time. And considering you've only been out with her once, I wouldn't think she did anything wrong by dating someone else as well. But now that she ended up with him, I personally don't see any reason for any further contact.
quattrob Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Well I smashed her on the first date, and it was her who offered me a second date. So when you said smashed her, I'd assume that means you had sex with her first date. She probably didn't like the sex and most people these days wouldn't directly say no to a second date, they'll just be flakey and hope you are smart enough to get the message. You were just persistent and infatuated by her to back off. As far as if it's right to tell her to leave you alone, who cares? she doesn't care she even said good luck to you. Why dwell on this? She obviously doesn't give 2 ****s about you, you honestly think she cares? She has a boyfriend, she even let you know! What else do you need her to say to you for you to get the message? She has no interest in you period. Move on now.
Zippy2000 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 She was never really interested in you. Its hard to say without knowing her or how she interacts with you. I know a girl who is kind of doing this to me. Always says she will let me know when she is free but I have to ask her a SECOND time. Odd thing is she always tells me on the second time of asking. Shes at most like warm about you. When she chnages her mind that ofetn it means she doesnt see you in that way. Some girls just like the attention. Disappear for about 2 weeks and shell probably come sniffing about.
menyou Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 To cut a long story short, I met this girl at work two weeks back. Really pretty, slim and we had a lot in common. Anyway I take her home right after work and we fooled around for a bit, and she agreed to a date two days later. She texts me a bit in between, saying she's glad she met me and sent me a few photo's ect. Comes on quite strong to be honest, even saying we should make a trip together. Anyway she cancels on me. We arrange another date and she cancels that, but reschedules one for two days later. I asked her if we are still on for the new date, and now she's just ignoring me outright. How can a girl go from 100% interest to 0% interest just like that? What is my best course of action? Thanks Do you see her at work? Gee, if you do what a way for her to make life awkward.
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