guild11 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Hey guys, How to do you overcome the barrier that doesnt let you have a full trust in your partner ? I been with my GF for 4 month, in the first month she confessed and said that she loves me and kept saying it all this time, sometimes she says that she loves me more and we argue about it in a fun way. I love her too but I simply cannot fully trust her, when ever she talks to other guys I think to myself "If he wasnt married she probably wouldve choose him over me" Endless reasons why someone is better than me. This thoughts come on their own but I dont know how to control them, this thoughts always block me from trusting her and simply believe that she loves me and like being with me. How do I overcome this?
Mrs. John Adams Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 This is not a trust issue...this is a self esteem issue. She has done nothing for you to distrust her. 3
Author guild11 Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 This is not a trust issue...this is a self esteem issue. She has done nothing for you to distrust her. Yes how do I improve my self esteem?
Mrs. John Adams Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 I wish i had the answer for you.... Most of us have self esteem issues...some more than others. You need to learn to accept yourself for who you are...and that my friend is not easy. I would give you a small piece of advice...if you care for this young lady....talk to her about your fears....only she can reassure you and give you the piece of mind that she is not going to leave you for somebody else. A forum can't do that for you.
Author guild11 Posted October 7, 2015 Author Posted October 7, 2015 I wish i had the answer for you.... Most of us have self esteem issues...some more than others. You need to learn to accept yourself for who you are...and that my friend is not easy. I would give you a small piece of advice...if you care for this young lady....talk to her about your fears....only she can reassure you and give you the piece of mind that she is not going to leave you for somebody else. A forum can't do that for you. I was thinking about it, but I'm afraid that my low self esteem will push her away, she might want to break up. I dont wanna be that "weak" guy in her eyes.
d0nnivain Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Yes how do I improve my self esteem? A DIY method involves positive self talk. Try reading some self help books on the subject. If that doesn't work, seek therapy.
Oli. Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 You have only been together for 4 months so you would be naïve to fully trust her already. Trust should be built in time, not given right off the bat. when ever she talks to other guys I think to myself "If he wasnt married she probably wouldve choose him over me" Is she flirting with these guys or overly friendly to random guys? If not then it probably is a self esteem issue on your part.
deadelvis Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 ...You have only been together for 4 months so you would be naïve to fully trust her already. Trust should be built in time, not given right off the bat..... This raises an interesting question... Should you trust someone right off the bat, until they give you a reason not to? Or should trust build over time? The problem with trusting right off the bat is you leave yourself wide open to getting hurt. The problem with trust building over time is it means you have to spend X amount of time not trusting the person. And that's not a good way to start a relationship. It's a catch22 IMO
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