Mbh Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 I met a man and we both hit it off; it was almost like he was the male version of myself. I won't go into all of the details, but we considered eachother to be "the one". Je said it first. He even went on and on about how he'd never be able to forget about me if we ever split up. He told me lots of personal things about himself, such as having depression, his abusive childhood, and lifelong struggle with body dysmorphic disorder. He commented about how confident that I am. He also said how when bad things happen, he goes of by himself to think and figure it out, and eventually he is fine. We were together close to one month when he was demoted and took a paycut at work. He came crying to me about it, and all of the problems it caused, like wanting to move, needing a different job, missing his family, and more. A few days later, a close relative died. He shut me out shortly afterwards. I checked on him a few weeks later, and he was trying to find out if I was dating anyone else, but then said because of everything he went through he can't have a relationship right now since he had nothing to offer. He kept talking to me, but went missing in action a few days later. Weeks went by. I learned he was checking up on me and hadn't let go. I wrote him casually, asking for his help on something (to make him feel better and more useful), but he ignored me, yet kept checking up on me. Months went by, I dated and even had a boyfriend, yet I couldn't stop thinking of this other guy. He has even looked at my LinkedIn a few times. It has been one year since he withdrew, and my career has soared while he still can't find another job. I lost weight and he gained. I finally just requested him on facebook ten days ago, and he left it pending, but stopped looking at my LinkedIn. Will he ever come back to me? Why is he doing this? Any help is appreciated.
Terry8889 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 (edited) This poor guy sounds like a looser, cried in front of you in just a month of knowing you?? and then he told you were the "one" in only a month?? LOL I think you should just forget about the guy, sounds like trouble to me, emotionally speaking.What amazes me is that you want him back in your life?? Why? If you're doing a lot better, keep it that way. Edited October 7, 2015 by Terry8889
xcupid Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 This guy didn't go into his cave, he disappeared. He did you a favor IMO. 2
d0nnivain Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 It's been a year. No he's not coming back. If his life is not back on track, he still feels he has nothing to offer you. The man has his pride & you, a woman, can't give it back to him. You were only together for a month when his life fell apart. Your relationship didn't have deep enough roots to survive. The fact that you are still holding out hope after all this time, doesn't say good things about your mental health. You have to let him go.
Redhead14 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 I met a man and we both hit it off; it was almost like he was the male version of myself. I won't go into all of the details, but we considered eachother to be "the one". Je said it first. He even went on and on about how he'd never be able to forget about me if we ever split up. He told me lots of personal things about himself, such as having depression, his abusive childhood, and lifelong struggle with body dysmorphic disorder. He commented about how confident that I am. He also said how when bad things happen, he goes of by himself to think and figure it out, and eventually he is fine. We were together close to one month when he was demoted and took a paycut at work. He came crying to me about it, and all of the problems it caused, like wanting to move, needing a different job, missing his family, and more. A few days later, a close relative died. He shut me out shortly afterwards. I checked on him a few weeks later, and he was trying to find out if I was dating anyone else, but then said because of everything he went through he can't have a relationship right now since he had nothing to offer. He kept talking to me, but went missing in action a few days later. Weeks went by. I learned he was checking up on me and hadn't let go. I wrote him casually, asking for his help on something (to make him feel better and more useful), but he ignored me, yet kept checking up on me. Months went by, I dated and even had a boyfriend, yet I couldn't stop thinking of this other guy. He has even looked at my LinkedIn a few times. It has been one year since he withdrew, and my career has soared while he still can't find another job. I lost weight and he gained. I finally just requested him on facebook ten days ago, and he left it pending, but stopped looking at my LinkedIn. Will he ever come back to me? Why is he doing this? Any help is appreciated. A man will cave for a few days to a week tops. This is not about caving. He may have been "caving" when the job and other things first started coming up, but he went underground for too long and lost any connection he may have had for you. He may have really liked you but because of his own "issues" he understood that he could not be a good dating partner for you and according to what you've said, he wouldn't be a good partner for anyone ever perhaps. It happens all the time. He is not coming back to you. Get focused on yourself and your life and enjoy yourself. Stop thinking about him, stop looking for him on Facebook. It's been over a year and you are still "waiting" for a man you dated for only a month? If you had a daughter or your best friend and she came to you with this scenario, what would you tell her? I think you would benefit from visiting a therapist at this point. 1
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